The X Men go to Canada!
by Chaotic Boredom
Summary: They take a road trip, to America's closest neighbour, Canada! RR please! COMPLETE Canada will never again be the same...
1. Where's that?

A/N: Okay now. I've seen the X-Men go on road trips, to Disneyland and Disneyworld, camping, and various other places. I've even read about them going to London. But have they ever gone to Canada? Well, aside from the time Logan dragged Kurt and Kitty with him to go beat up Sabretooth. So, here's my attempt at a purely humorous story. With Canadian spelling and attempts at various accents. Let's give it a go. I might toss my original character in, doubt it though. Even if I did it'd be a minor part. I apologize to anyone who has written a story about the X-Men going to Canada, tell me where you are hiding and I'll read! Oh yes, one final thing. I own nada. Zilch. Not even the very computer I'm typing on. I think I might own, nope. Don't own the floppy this is saved on either. It's really neat though. It's translucent red! *stares at floppy muttering pretty the entire time* I very poor at typing accents, and will gladly take suggestions as to what trouble the X-Men get into. This is after everyone finds out they are mutantsOn with the show!

"I'm glad you all assembled here so quickly. I have an announcement to make. We will be taking a road trip." There were general cheers to be heard all around and the Professor waited for it to be quiet.

"Where we going teach?" Evan asked, when the cheers subsided. Hank stepped forward and answered.

"We will be driving across Canada." There was silence, except for the sound of a small cricket chirping.

"Sorry," Bobby said, cupping his hands around the small insect. "Ya gotta be quiet little buddy."

"Riiiiiiight." The Professor drawled like Dr. Evil. "Anyway, we will be leaving tomorrow, and I want you to decide who will be in what van. There will be three vans. Drivers are Hank, Scott and Ororo." The chatter rose in the room as people argued over who was going to be where.

"You sure this is a good idea Chuck?"

"Of course, it will be a good experience for them to learn about another country firsthand." Nobody noticed Bobby's poor forsaken cricket jumping away.

Once off the grounds, which took up most of the night, Bobby's little cricket grew into an evil, maniacal, blue lady. She turned towards the Brotherhood house, and ran, grateful not to be hopping anymore. 'How in the world does Toad do that all day?' Mystique thought to herself as she arrived at the destroyed house.

"All right you lazy piles of flab. Get ready. The X-Men are on the move. We're following them…to Canada."

"Uhh…Where's Canada?" Fred asked.

"It's round Australia, yo!" Mystique and Lance shook their heads.

"You're wrong Toad, it's near England!" Wanda entered and threw Lance against the wall for his stupidity.

"You are all such idiots. It's north of Washington." Wanda finished and stormed out. Mystique threw a glance upwards with a look that said it all. _Why me?_ No one noticed the slight draft coming from the open door.

In an underground lair that's hidden because otherwise it wouldn't be a lair, Pietro was rushing up to his father with some big news.

"MystiqueandtheX-MenareallgoingtoCanada!" No one truly understood what he was saying. Except Magneto.

"Everyone, get ready. We're going to Canada." An argument similar to the one that took place in the Brotherhood occurred. It ended with Magneto in a similar pose as Mystique.

A/N: I have this thing with Americans being able to name what states touch what other states, but not being able to tell me where Canada is! I can name all the provinces, most of the states, and don't need a map to tell me where America is! I'm done with that little rant. R+R please! And feel free to ignore anything I say that looks anti-American. I don't want to start a war. Us Canadians would only have our, um, pointy maple leaf insignias to fight back with! Whooo! What's that? You have guns? And trained troops? Uh oh… I'll update! I promise!


	2. And off they go!

A/N: Wow! Ten reviews! On the Intro alone! As for all my fellow Canadian X-Men fans, care to join me in storming YTV's headquarters for not showing any more of the episodes? I hate it! And it's the only station that shows Evo! And Teletoon stopped showing the late-night reruns of the older series! I only saw Gambit once there. He's way better than in Day of Reckoning. I like Rogue in the Evo better though. I'm done. Due to popular demand, I am continuing. I almost forgot about Kurt in this fic! I can't believe that! The fuzzy dude is going to have my head! I have a lot of high expectations to live up to now. Last thing, or two things, promise! Everyone knows Mystique adopted Rogue, but not that Mystique is Risty, and this follows a strange timeline. No dates, cuz then they couldn't go to various events and festivals. Read on!

"Shotgun!" Jean called, jumping into the seat next to the driver, missing it and falling into the gap between the two seats. She lifted herself up and placed herself into the seat using her telekinesis. Scott climbed in beside her, looking over his shoulder to find out who else was piling in. The vans could all hold ten people each, but the professor had said six to a van. Seven in one. Bobby and Sam were piling in, along with Kitty and the Professor. Kitty was feeling slighted because Amara, Tabby and Jubilee had all out themselves in Ororo's van, leaving Kitty out.

Ororo was having her own issues. Claustrophobia combined with the thought of driving all the way to Canada with two mutants who enjoy blowing things up, one princess, and all three of which can't resist shopping. Then there was Evan, who couldn't stretch without nailing something or someone to a wall. She forced all these worries to the back of her mind however, when the Professor had told her it was either her driving, or Logan. At the thought of having to control four young mutants while being terrified for her own life, Storm took the keys and stood outside the door.

Everyone was watching Hank as he sat in the van, feet resting lightly on the steering wheel. Rogue was in the back, already engrossed in some book. When Ray, Kurt, Rahne, Roberto, and Jamie piled in, they promptly forgot about her. She was sitting in the last row of seats, oblivious to all. Kurt ported randomly around, eventually landing next to his sister.

"Hey! You going to read the entire vay?" He asked, covering the page with his hand.

"If Ah'm left alone!" Glaring back at Kurt.

"Sorry!" The fuzzy dude ported back to the front seat of the van.

"Everybody ready?" The Professor's voice crackled over a radio link that was set up in the vans. "Then off we go!"

"They're on the move. Follow them!" Mystique was commanding Lance, who was in the drivers seat.

"Are you guys sure I can't sit between you? This rope hurts yo!" Wanda glanced behind her, where Toad was trying to hang on to the back of the jeep, with a rope harness tied round him. Waving her hand, the rope broke, leaving Toad completely dependent on the strength of his arms and upper body to stay with the others. "Are you sure cuddlebumps?" When Wanda raised her hand once more, Toad ducked and held on for dear life.

"Follow them." The voice emanated from the bucket Magneto was wearing upon his head. Remy obeyed, shifting the van into gear, and stepping on the gas. That van went so fast that Pieboy had a hard time catching up. He did, and tossed himself into the window.

"And Remy tought dat we might lose you! Roll dem windows up next time John!" He was assaulted with a battery of quick taps, Pietro punching him. "Doan hit de driver 'less you wan t'go off roading!"

A/N: Sorry for the short chapters. I'm biding time till my muse gives me a good thwack to the head. I wrote seven straight chapters last time he did. Different story though. I'm sorry if my Remy accent is off. I'm sorry if any of the Acolyte characters are off. I've only seen Remy in the first cartoon once, and he said three lines. Next chapter. I apologize for any bad accents, now and for the rest of the story. Listening to great big sea. Will they get to Canada? I hope so. 


	3. This is the Song that Never Ends!

A/N: Meant to do this last chapter.

Kaminarimon- Maple syrup? Mounties? Of course! They're as Canadian as dying helicopters and Creepin' Chretien! Creepin' Cretin! Heh heh, yes, they will be included. Of course they will!

shirt_ninja's impersonator- Everyone has an accent, but if you are surrounded by others with the same accent, you feel you don't. Well, that's my theory. I'm none to good at slang either. Could cause some problems for the Newfies. Hmmm…

Nari- With our hockey hair and long underwear too!

Panther Nesmith- Nice to see you over here! I'm allowed to bash Americans? I've been given permission? Whoo!

Kiki- Timbits are good. Nummy nummy!

ishandahalf- here it comes!

Soul Lysythe Ice- I convinced you to review again? I don't know what to type…

On with the chappie!

************

Hank was leaning back, driving with his feet, covering his sensitive ears with his hands. Kurt had two fingers stuffed into his ears, and Rahne was in wolf form, covering her head with her paws, trying to bury herself under the seat. Ray and three Jamies (it was a bumpy ride) were singing the This is the Song that Never Ends.  Rogue had pulled out a Discman and continued reading. Roberto was singing along, alternating between English and Portuguese. (A/N: He is Brazilian, right?) Hank feverishly wished that they didn't have another three hours to go to the border.

Storm was having a hard time too, no never ending song, but Logan and Evan were comparing spikes to claws, and Tabitha, Amara, and Jubilee had yet to take a single breathe. They had moved from shoes, to belts, to hair, back to shoes, then to pants, boys, back to shoes, and you get the idea. Storm was becoming only slightly annoyed. Only slightly.

"Are you three ever silent?" She roared, thunderclouds beginning to fill the previously clear sky. The van grew deadly silent. Everyone sat for a moment. Storm was thankful for the quiet. She drove, and listened to the sound of nothing. For about twelve seconds. The minute the storm clouds dissipated, the chatter picked up right where it had left off. Storm knocked her head against the steering wheel, honking the horn each time.

"Why are they honking at us?" Scott asked, hearing the horn blasts coming from behind.

"Maybe they want us to pull over." Jean answered.

"They'd use the radio then, wouldn't they?" The Professor, hearing the conversation, took a look into Storm's mind, and saw only crazed images of shoes, belts, pants, hair and boys.  And a horn coming straight at her head.

"Don't worry about it, they're perfectly okay." Jean turned to stare at the Professor, and Scott would have too, but he needed to watch the road.

"Storm's perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about." Scott was having the easiest time not being distracted. Bobby and Sam were sitting, playing poker, and Kitty was sitting, silent and angry, still mad at her shopping buddies.

"You lose again!" Bobby crowed triumphantly.

"Today is not mah day!" Sam pulled something out of his pocket, passing it to Bobby. "Take it! Bye bye Betsy." He said in a mournful tone.

"Yesss! Now I got three! Hold on a sec! Where's Larry?"

"What, like, is Larry?" Kitty asked, looking slightly nervous.

"My pet mouse." Every vehicle I a hundred kilometer radius heard the scream that followed.

"Wow, like, I never knew you could, like, scream that loud Scott." Everyone in the van began to laugh.

"Vhat happened?" Kurt asked, just as he ported in, landing in the very back, causing an avalanche of luggage. Bobby and Sam, who were sitting laughing their asses off, pointed to Scott who was wildly beginning to swerve. The vehicle landed in an empty field with a wood on the other side of it.

Storm and Hank's vehicles pulled over to the side of the road, with everyone piling out, grateful to stretch their legs. Rahne ran far away from the Jamies, Roberto and Ray. Hank followed her, hiding deep within the woods. Rogue took of her earphones, and came out of her book. Tabitha, Amara and Jubilee stopped talking to each other long enough to let Storm regain control over her thoughts. She had been thinking about ripping out each of the girl's voice boxes. Logan and Evan came out, still arguing whether claws or spikes were better.

"Who screamed?" Rogue asked. Bobby and Sam were rolling on the floor of the van laughing. The Prof had a smirk on his face, and even Perfect Jean had lost her composure and was laughing. Scott was looking very red-faced.

"There you are Larry!" Bobby cried out, pulling a small box that kept jumping around from under Jean's seat.

"Spikes are so much better than claws!" Evan argued.

"With claws, you can't have your weapon thrown or ripped away." Logan growled back.

"You can throw spikes at an enemy man! Admit it! Spikes are way better than claws. Watch!" With those final words, Evan popped a spike out of his forearm and blasted it. It flew across the field, and into the woods. It disappeared, and everyone heard a yelp. A few minutes later, Hank could be seen carrying a wolf with Evan's spike stuck through her hind leg. Hank laid it in front of Xavier, and everyone watched as the poor animal tried to run across the street, and was immediately squashed by a familiar looking jeep.

"They killed Rahne!" Ray shouted.

"Lance!" Kitty shouted after the retreating jeep.

"Who killed me?" I familiar voice asked.

"Rahne!" Everyone shouted.

"I killed me?" Rahne asked, truly confused. Another car passed by them as they were all happy, never telling Rahne about the other wolf.

"You passed them mate."

"That'swhatyougetforbeingsuchaspeeddemon."

"De pot callin' de kettle black."

"Just keep going to the border, we can wait for them in Canada." Magneto sighed and put his head in his hands.

A/N: Damn, I killed a wolf. I love wolves! I want to be reincarnated and raised by wolves! I apologize to wolves everywhere! Wait, I didn't kill the wolf, the Brotherhood did! But I wrote the wolf crossing the street… rats. Oh well. I don't want to kill any people off. Poor wolfie. Roadkill. There will be lots in future chapters. I think. Yes. I'll make it into a running joke. Maybe. Ignore me; I'm an evil wolf killer! As for Scott screaming, who thought it was Kitty or Jean? Tabby, Amara and Jubilee did. I'm done. Start the next chapter now. 


	4. A Threat to National Security

A/N: This A/N is for Appin Took, you like Stan Rogers too? Holy! I've never heard of any other fans! I know they're out there, but I've never heard of them! I'm done. On with the next chapter.

The three vans were sitting, waiting while the border crossing line inched ever so close to the strange gates. Actually, it never moved a millimeter. The young mutants had abandoned the vans, leaving Scott, Xavier, Storm, Logan and Hank to wait while the line went nowhere.

"Vant to see vhat's holding everything up?" Kurt asked the group in general. The general group agreed, and so they walked, waving cheerily to all and sundry who were sitting in their cars. Waiting. Sitting. Waiting. But not honking their horns.

When the general group reached the gates that were blocking entry, (there were three, it wasn't a major crossing, but not an insignificant one either, so ya) there was once again a familiar looking jeep, and a van with familiar bucket in the window. The third one was being blocked by a single person, or thing.

"Hey! Draco! Man! Whatcha doin' here?" Evan asked, excited to see a person he knew.

"Trying to get home again. I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm from another story!"

"What?"

"Never mind Kitty. They won't let me back into Canada cuz I don't have proof of citizenship. I'm outta here." The dragon-kid turned her back and flew up, up and away.

"I think she has issues." Everyone turned to Jamie. "Well, I do."

Turning to find out why the Brotherhood and the Acolytes were holding up the queue, Kurt heard the customs officer giving Mystique a persuasive talk. He repeated it for the benefit of all those without super hearing, imitating his mother's voice and the customs officer's voice and tone.

"What do you mean I can't enter?"

"You present a threat to national security."

"I present a what? You better let me through or I'll…"

"I'll detain you if you attempt anything further."

"You'll detain me?! That's hardly amusing. Boys…and Wanda?" The Brotherhood stared at Mystique like she had three heads.

"I don't wanna be detained." Fred said, thinking it was something very gruesome.

"Fine, I'll deal with you myself!" Mystique grabbed hold of the officers shirt, pulling him very close to her face. The officer calmly wrote something on his little clipboard, and pulled out a small can. He sprayed it at Mystique and gave her the piece of paper while another officer came and took her towards a small building on the side of the road.

"It burns! Oh it burns!" Mystique was crying out as she was half dragged, half carried to the little building. The mutants began to laugh as the first officer waved the Brotherhood through. Seeing the next vehicle was Scott's van, Bobby, Sam, Kitty, and Jean ran towards it, while the rest of the mutants turned their attentions to Kurt, who was now acting out the dramatics occurring with Magneto and his officer.

"Good afternoon, my name is Ned and I am your customs officer. Do you have any fruits or vegetables?"

"Only the ones in the middle seat." Scott answered, gesturing towards Sam and Bobby who were once again playing cards.

"What was it that you, like, sprayed onto Mystique?" Kitty asked, popping her head up from the back seat. Ned laughed, and held up the small can.

"Mosquito spray. Better than mace. Or pepper spray. So, no fruits or vegetables, citizenship?"

"American."

"All of you?" Scott began ticking off who was inside and their nationality.

"Me, American, Jean, American, Sam, Southern States, Bobby, American, Kitty, American, and the Professor, American. Yep, all American."

"Alright then, continue on, and have a nice day.

Kurt was in the spotlight once more, acting out Magneto and the female officer he was dealing with.

"Why can't I enter?"

"Because, you are wearing a bucket on your head and a large flowing cape."

"What if I were to pull this entire crossing apart?"

"Then you would be wanted, wearing a bucket on your head and a long flowing cape. You still wouldn't be allowed in."  Magneto stretched his arm out, and the cars began to move, but nothing else budged. Not even the badge on the customs officer's chest.

"What?"

"You said your name is Erik Lencherr. Aka, Magneto? There's no metal here. Too expensive. I'm afraid we've got one or two outstanding warrants. You'll have to come with me." The Acolytes began to giggle. The same officer that had dragged Mystique away appeared and took hold of Magneto. The first officer waved the Acolytes through, without their leader. At this point, Storm and Hank drove up to the border crossings. They all returned to their respective vans. Hank ended up with the female officer who had been dealing with Magneto.

"Good afternoon, my name is Michelle and I am your customs officer. Any fruits or vegetables?"

"No."

"Citizenship?" Hank looked into the van, and had to stop.

"Let's see, I'm American, Kurt's German, Rahne is Scottish, Jamie's American, Ray is too, Roberto is Brazilian, and Rogue is American. Is that right?" Again looking back. Everyone nodded. The officer thanked Hank and waved him through.

The officer at the gate Storm was going through, just took one look at the deranged look on her face, and Logan's claws, and just waved them through.

"What do we do now? Should we keep following them and attack?"

"Nah, let's just follow them and see if we can't get some free rooms and food." Lance answered.

"Okay." Fred, his question answered and quite content with himself leaned back and took a snooze. Toad hopped up and took Mystique's now vacant seat, also quite happy. His arms were tired.

"Well, now we lost the slave driver, what do you mates wanna do?"

"Let's follow the others. Perhaps they will be kind and take us in." Piotr spoke for the first time, slowly enunciating each word. "I never wanted to fight them in the first place." (A/N: I should be doing a Russian accent here, but I haven't a clue as to what it should sound like. I'm having troubles. Yes.)

"Sounds good to Remy."

"Nonononononononononono!TheBrotherhoodareprobablyfollowingthemtooandtheywon'tletmeliveiftheyseeme!"

"It's decided den. We follows de X-Men!" Remy once again put the van into gear and began to follow the jeep that was following one of the vans.

A/N: Whoa! They made it into Canada! Mystique and Magneto might return, but I had to get rid of them otherwise the Brotherhood and Acolytes would do evil things, and this fic wouldn't be funny anymore.  Yes, Draco is my personal OC, and will make another cameo. I've decided that much. Read Darkdragon if you are really curious, but don't worry about it. She looks like a dragon and has wings. That's all you should need to know for this fic. I'm writing such short chapters. C'mon muse, where are you?


	5. Kazakhstan? Where'd that come from?

A/N: Muse is still a no-show. I haven't got writers block, think it of a drain. With writers block being a total stoppage, while with me it's more like something's stopping the majority of ideas from flowing. I can still write, but it's a bit choppy. Revisions will follow.

"Is the Brotherhood still following us?" Hank asked Rahne, who was quite happy hanging her head out of the window.

"Yup." She pulled her head in to answer then returned to hanging half out.

"Scott? Ororo? I think we should pull over, find out what the Brotherhood wants." Storm's voice crackled over the radio.

"They want to help me slowly destroy each and every mall in this nation! Every single one! Destroy! The malls must go!"

"If Alvers and his buddies are looking for a fight, that's what they'll get! What's that Professor? Oh, yeah, we better pull over." Scott could barely hide the disappointment in his voice.

All three vans pulled over, and the Brotherhood jeep did, closely followed by the Acolytes. Scott and a few others exited. Rogue and Rahne remained inside the one van, both were fast asleep. And they were both talking.

"Hey, doan shoot, or attack, or whatever it is yous about to do. We wanna talk. Nice and friendly like." Remy had been elected as spokesperson for the Acolytes. Piotr's accent made understanding him difficult, Sabretooth would only growl, (A/N: See! I remembered him!) Pietro was hiding in the van, and John just didn't seem to be the right person.

"The same goes for us." Lance was unofficially elected, because he could say more than three words without saying 'yo', and could think and speak at the same time. Plus Wanda was sitting in stony silence, and had been completely oblivious to all attempts to ask her if she was fine with the idea of trying to bum some free food and shelter off Xavier.

"Talk fast, before I blast you all through…um," Scott looked around, trying to find something to blast them all through. "Empty field." He finished lamely. Very lamely.

"Well, it we lost our leader, so can we hook up wid yous, and borrow your leader?"

"Same goes for us. Mystique dragged us out here and then get 'detained' at the border."

"I know! The Brotherhood can come if they know what state we're in, and the Acolytes if they can figure out who screamed!"

"Um, Tabitha?" Roberto began, "Canada has provinces."

"Well whatever! The meaning is still the same! So, can any of you guys figure it out?" The Acolytes and Brotherhood gathered in two different huddles.

"I think your mate Shades over there is a screamer."

"I have to agree with St. John." Piotr said in his slow way. Sabretooth's contribution was a growl that sounded like 'Logan'.

"Hey, Speedy, what's your guess?" Remy asked, throwing his query in the general direction of the van.

"I'mnotsayinganythingbecauseIamcompletelyagainstthis." Was what the wind seemed to say.

"Well, Remy tinks it's Shades, so, majority rules!" He broke the huddle. "De screamer was Shades." Scott's face turned beet red, and didn't notice Bobby fiddling with a small box right by his pant leg. Bobby suddenly straightened, and covered his ears, like he was expecting a bomb to go off. Sam, Ray, Roberto Jamie, and the shop-a-holics took a similar stance.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Scott once again squealed. "IT'S UP MY PANTS! IT'S UP MY PANTS!" The Brotherhood broke their huddle to watch Scott dance around, beating frantically at his pant leg. "IT'S CRAWLING UP MY LEG!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Jean tried twice to lift him, dropping him both times. She was laughing too much to concentrate. "IT'S IN MY CROTCH! DEAR GOD! GET IT OUT!" The laughing increased. In the midst of the crazy dance, Scott somehow managed to unzip his fly, and pull the mouse out. Flinging it across the field, he began to run. Bobby saw poor Larry flying through the air.

"Larry! No! Come back!" Jean, also seeing the small furry ball of fuzz flying, focused enough to stop him in mid air long enough for Bobby to grab him and replace him in his little box. They both then returned to laughing.

The Brotherhood, enjoying Scott's very 'manly' dance, returned to their huddle, dragging Wanda in with them.

"So, where are we yo?"

"Canada?"

"More specific Fred. Wanda, do you know?" Wanda just glared. "Okay, won't ask you. Any ideas? Wait." Breaking the huddle momentarily, Lance popped his head up. "How many chances do we get?"

"One"

"As many as necessary." Tabitha and Xavier answered at the same time. Since Xavier overruled Tabby, Xavier's answer stood.

"Ve're going to be here all night!" Kurt moaned. Scott was slowly returning. Rahne and Rogue were still snoozing, both having missed Scott's amazing Mouse-in-my-Pants Dance. Lance returned to the huddle.

"All right, we get as many chances as we need. Any ideas?" They all broke the huddle and began throwing out possibilities.

"We're in Paraguay yo!"

"Kazakhstan?"

"Toronto?" Freddy was closest yet.

"You're along the right track Fred, but still not correct." Everyone suddenly realized one thing, simultaneously. Nobody knew where they were! Xavier was immediately plagued by 21 people mentally asking him where they were. Xavier looked at Hank, who smiled like a Cheshire cat, and then to Logan, who displayed no emotion other than boredom. And perhaps a touch of anger that he'd have to deal with Sabretooth for the rest of the trip. The Brotherhood continued wildly guessing.

"New England?"

"New Hampshire?"

"New Brunswick?"

"Thank you Mr. Dukes. That is where we are currently located. As for the rest of you, I'm suggesting you bone up on provinces, territories and major Canadian cities." Everyone groaned at Hank's words.

"I guessed right?" For the first time in his life, big Freddy was correct about something. "Yeah! Do I get a prize?"

"Yes, I will provide you with both accommodations and meals for the rest of this trip. I can also provide transportation for Wanda or Lance, but I'm afraid you wouldn't fit in any of these vans Fred. And you can't come in until you begin to bathe regularly Todd. I want all of you to understand, that if you come, you are to follow the rules set down for you, and if you disobey them, you will be punished just like the X-Men would. Understood?" Everyone nodded at Xavier's last words. Except Sabretooth. He just growled. "And as for you four," he gestured towards Sabretooth, Remy, John and Piotr, "You will also be subject to  the same rules. I can provide transportation for all of you. Now, I believe we should continue on, it is getting late, and there is a town not far from here." 

Everyone piled back into the respective vans, except Wanda, who was tired of being sat on, and being downwind of Toad. Wanda joined Storm's van, thinking it would be easiest. She discovered otherwise, and used her abilities to make the shop-a-holics lose their voices. The only noises left were Logan and Evan's arguing, and Storm muttering something under her breath about malls and pipe bombs.

A/N: Enjoy the Mouse-in-my-Pants Dance? Poor, poor Larry. I didn't kill him though! He's still alive! And ready for plenty more Scott torture. My muse tapped me with his tail for this one. They aren't out of the woods yet. There's a reason Rogue and Rahne are talking. My inspiration for that, is my sister, I sleep in the room next to hers, and while she maintains that she talks to herself BEFORE she goes to sleep, everyone knows that she talks before. Will they ever reach a point where they can sleep? In Canada? Who knows! I'm no longer in control of this story. My muse has awakened! And we shall gather in Toronto to bring all holy hell down upon YTV!!


	6. Veggies, Hockey Shots, and Tiny Boxes

A/N: Like I said before, my muse is up, it's 11:30 pm, and I'm ready to write. This should be longer than previous chapters. Should.

ishandahalf- using and smashing stereotypes are fun. I apologize yet again for the death of the wolf. There will be more wolves! I hope! They won't die! Promise. But there might be some various rodentia masquerading as roadkill. Not Larry though! Or Betsy!

kiki- the Acolytes and b-hood, as you dubbed them, I love that, I will refer to them from here until my birthday as the b-hood, had to follow. Oh the possibilities. Scott is so much fun to make fun of.

Pyromaniac- I'm glad you're enjoying this! I know the feeling with those tapes, I actually believed them, and stopped taping every weekend because I wanted to watch the episodes I did have taped again and again, and I missed DoR, Hex Factor, and Op. Rebirth! I was kicking myself!  I did get Day o' Recovery, and Stuff of Heroes though. Don't know how I managed that. I'll stop now.

Tuva- I like these type of stories too, and decided to try my hand at writing one. Yup. Sugar's great, ain't it?

JaSsie-  I'm having a hard time with Russian, Newfie, and Eastern accents in general. I'm using my uncle as a template. Close as I can get.

Continuing on.

Hank looked back, the Jamies (there were only two now) were both zonked, Rahne and Rogue were still sleeping and talking, while Ray, Roberto and Kurt closely listened, hopeful for some serious blackmail material for later use. Rogue opened her mouth again, and everyone waited to see what would come out.

"Pahtahto."

"What she say?" Ray asked, looking at Kurt.

"I don't know!"

"She's your sister!"

"That doesn't mean I understand her!"

"I think she said potato." Hank offered. Everyone nodded knowingly. Then Rahne began to speak.

"Oh no! No! not again! Not the Captain! No! Away with you Captain Sisko!"

"Sounds like someone's having a nightmare."

"Shhhhh! She's not done!"

"Oh, you, you have a biscuit for me? A treat? Take me home! Please!" Rahne seemed to be quite content, and drooling too.

"Alright, that's just wrong." Ray said, staring.

"Cuuuuucuuuummmbbeeer," Rogue wasn't done, and now she was dragging each word out. "Peeeeeeeppeeers."

"Man, she must have a secret obsession vith veggies!"

"Who knew?" Hank returned his attention to driving.

Meanwhile, in Storm's van, everyone, excluding the deranged driver were asleep. And everyone was snoring. It was sending Storm even deeper into her insanity. The three shop-a-holics had nodded off first, then came Evan and Logan, who were both snoring, and occasionally passing out an statement about their argument, which they were carrying on even in their sleep. Finally, was Wanda, who turned out to be the loudest of the five. Mouth wide open, she snored on. Storm took this time to further her evilly deranged plots.

Scott's van was eerily quiet. Bobby and Sam were still playing cards, and had dragged Kitty into a game of 007. Eventually they switched to Crazy Eights when Kitty kept cheating and phasing the cards she needed away from Sam and Bobby. Xavier had nodded off, with his head gently resting on his chest, and Jean was reading the map. It had taken forever to locate the town on the map. There was only one shown, so she assumed it was where they were headed.

"Fred-rik-town? They sure have strange names around here. Hey, Scott, take the next right turn." Scott gave no sign of acknowledgement. Not even a slight nod. "Scott?" She asked, waving her hand in front of the boy's shades. Pulling them off, hopeful for a reaction, there was nothing. Scott's eyes were tightly closed. He was asleep! "Our driver's asleep!" She screeched. Scott didn't move, Xavier woke up, and Kitty phased out of the van. 

Taking the wheel with her telekinesis Jean maneuvered to place them on the right road, leading into Fred-rik-town. The rest of the train followed blindly.

"Well, where do yous tink we are goin'?" Remy asked his traveling companions. Only to discover them all pointing at him. "What?"

"You lost at the Quiet Game mate!" John immediately covered his mouth, as all the others pointed to him.

"Iknewthey'dbethefirsttwoout,payupSabretooth!" Sabretooth growled and passed a ten over to Pietro. Piotr began to do a little dance in his seat.

"I vin! I vin!" (A/N: I think his Russian accent is going to come out sounding a lot like Kurt's German. I'm trying!)

"No you don't! I do!" Sabretooth growled.

"You growled! I vin!" Everyone got very involved in the argument whether a growl counted as sending you out in the Quiet Game.

"We better be getting close, I'm getting really tired."

"Hey! I can drive yo!"

"No thanks, the last thing I need is for you to slime the steering wheel!" And then Lance and Toad got in an argument, because Freddy was snoozing and Wanda was snoring in Storm's van.

As all four vans and the jeep pulled into a hotel, everyone was awakened by Scott's scream as Bobby once again released Larry.

"Well, how else were we going to wake you up? And you're better than an alarm clock!" Bobby offered.

"Where's Kitty? Did we lose Kitty?" Scott asked, looking around worriedly.

"She phased out around thirty miles ago."

"And got run over by Storm before I could phase back into Hank's van!" Kitty looked only slightly annoyed. Storm was completely oblivious to everything short of something she was constructing, that she hid from everyone who tried to see what it was.

"Let's just go in and get some rooms. There will be two to a room, and I will be deciding who goes in which room. Xavier put great emphasis on the word I. Wheeling into the lobby, he went to the concierge. "I would like," he stopped and counted, 28 mutants, and a suspicious wind. 28 divided by two was…14? Looking into Hank's mind he doubled checked his answer. "14 two bed rooms and one room with a single bed, please." The concierge tapped at his computer, and checked the wall that held all the little room keys behind him.

"Sorry, but we only have 11 two bed rooms available eh? There is seven singles if you wants 'em." Xavier groaned. This wasn't going to float well. He looked again at the ever so sleepy mutants. He turned back to the concierge.

"We'll take four of those then."

Taking the pile of keys, he looked around, trying to decide who to put in what room. Jean and Scott had to be separated, for obvious reasons. Hank, who didn't snore would be the only choice to room with Storm. Kurt, Bobby. Separate Kitty, Tabby, Amara and Jubilee. Jubilee could go with Rogue, Kitty and Wanda, Tabby, no wait, she hates Jean. Amara and Jean. Tabby with…oh dear. Tabby with Rahne, and hope there wasn't some sort of outstanding feud. Ray, could go with…Todd, Lance and…Remy.  Piotr could room with Fred, and St. John with…Scott. Scott should be able to keep the pyromaniac in check. Sabretooth and Logan would have to be separated, but, then again, Logan wasn't as likely to be taken as a hostage. That left, Roberto, Evan, Jamie and Sam. Sam and Jamie, Sam would take care of the young kid. Roberto and Evan could stay together.

"Sam and Jamie, Jubilee and Rogue, Tabitha and Rahne, Ray and Todd, Logan and Victor, Kurt and Bobby, Kitty and Wanda, Lance and Remy, Piotr with Fred, John and Scott, Amara and Jean, Roberto and Evan, and Sam and Jamie. I expect all the rules that we have at the institute to be followed. Tabitha, you and Rahne will be in one of the single rooms, Kurt, you and Bobby in another, I will take the third, and any other volunteers to take the final one?" Scott and Jean raised their hands. Xavier ignored them. "I'll pick a number between three and 97, and whoever guesses the number, has to sleep in the single. Alright, Sam? Would you care to start?"

"Twelve." Rogue guessed next.

"Ninety-seven." Then came Remy.

"Tirty-seven."

"Nineteen." Jean's guess.

"Three." Kitty.

"Eighty-four."

"That is the number. John, Scott, you get the last single room." John began to beat up on Scott.

"I told ya we shoulda picked twenty-two! That's what you get for not listenen' to  me mate!" Scott sighed and took the key Xavier offered him, grateful that he wasn't rooming with Toad. 

Everyone went off to their individual rooms, too tired to grumble about their roommates. Hank went over, and picked Storm up from where she was busy assembling, whatever it was she was assembling. He dragged her kicking and screaming up, and asked Xavier if Storm could have the single. Seeing the condition she was in, Xavier agreed, and rolled over to the room he'd be sharing with Hank.

A/N: I was going to end this here, but I haven't really had any Canadiana yet! Except the concierge's eh. But that's it! So, I'm going to continue this one. Onward  noble laptop!

Waking up the next morning, and realizing who the warm furry body at the foot of the bed was, Tabby kicked Rahne off.

"Hey! I was having a good dream there!" She said, morphing back to her human self.

"Sorry! But dogs aren't allowed on this bed!"

"Well, cats aren't either!" With that, the two girls leapt at each other, fighting like, well, and cat and a dog, or, er, wolf.

Bobby woke up to greet Kurt's face leaning over him.

"Yaaagh!" He jumped up, waking Kurt in the process.

"Vhat? Vhat? Is there a fire? Vhat?" Kurt saw Bobby sitting, clutching his chest. "Did I vake you?"

"Yes! Why were you hanging over me like that? It scared the crap out of me!"

"Vell, it vas either that lamp hanging over the bed or the closet."

"Next time, sleep in the closet!" Kurt whimpered in response. "What? Are you scared of closets?"

"Ja." Kurt's answer was nearly lost.

"There's nothing in there! Besides, you and McCoy are probably the scariest things we'll find here!"

"I vas locked in small rooms as a child. I vas supposed to be an escape artist."

"So your parents locked you in a closet?"

"Nein, it vas a tiny box." Bobby shrugged and started rooting around in his bag for something to wear.

Scott slept soundly, having confiscated John's lighter, feeling that would ensure his safety, as well as the safety of everyone else. He woke to greet a John who had obviously been up all night, but didn't look any worse for the wear. He looked downright perky in fact.

"Hey Shades! Glad you finally woke up mate. You were out cold for the entire night, so I had to find somethin' to do to you." Scott was too sleepy to register what it was John had said. Entering the bathroom, he took care of his daily personal hygiene without much thought. He had it down to a science.

"Your turn." He exited, turning to the 'perky' Aussie.

"Well, you must really like my artwork then. Glad to see mate!" John jumped up and ran out of the room.

The assorted mutants gathered in the lobby of the hotel, fresh and ready for a new day. Everyone was planning to do the tourist bit.

"I'd like everyone to be back here by eleven pm. We will be continuing tomorrow, so you need some sleep. Where's Storm?"

"I checked her room, but she was, like, gone when I got there."

"Well then Kitty, I will find her, but thank-you for trying."

"You all Yankees?" A strange voice asked.

"What's a Yankee?" Evan whispered to Toad.

"I dunno, maybe it's a tourist yo?"

"Iffen you wants to get a tour round beautiful Fredericton, I'm your man!"

"I thought we were in Fred-rik-town?"

"Fredericton, little lady, it's pronounced Fredericton. And you mights wants to get a new maps, eh? That American one is going to be useless, less you want ta just visit four cities." Jean glanced down at the map she had been using.

"You mean there's more than four cities?" She asked in wonderment.

"I didn't know there was more than two. I thought everyone was nomandic."

"That's nomadic you idiot!" Wanda slapped Jamie over the head, creating three more.

"You ain't exactly the normal group of Yanks, are ya?"

"No, We are mutants. I'm sure you've heard of us."

"Dun't matter. We gets all kinds down here. So, howsabout that tour? Ten dollars per person Canadian."

"We don't have Canadian money." Sam pulled out his pockets as if to illustrate his point. Three more boxes like Larry's fell out. Scott shied away, drawing attention to himself.

"Well now, what's your talent kid? Makin' yerself ugly?" The Canadian native began to laugh, slapping his thigh. Everyone else laughed too, Scott's face was covered in face paint from god knows where, and it looked like an elephant had painted it. John was acting like a showgirl, striking various poses meant to display Scott's face. Scott's cheeks once again flushed red, but no one could see because they were already covered with splotches and splatters of green, red, yellow and blue. Scott marched back up to his room and furiously washed his face, scrubbing off a layer of skin.

"Well now, I can take ye all to a place to change yer Yankee money into some funny money. Then ye can pay me, those of you who wants the tour. So, how many are thinkin' bout it?" Hank, Xavier, Jamie, Fred, Wanda, Toad, Piotr, Jean, Scott, and Roberto all raised their hands. The tour guide counted. "Ten o' ye? Alright. My name be Luke. If ye all wanna follow me, I'll show ye a place to change yer money."

The entire group marched out after Luke, except Logan and Sabretooth, who had their own agendas. Luke did bring them to a building that _looked_ like a bank.

"Bank of Montreal? I've, like, never heard of that."

"Aye, better than CIBC, all Canadian bank it is." Luke brought them inside, walking up to one of the tellers. "I've gots another group of Yanks. I'll leave 'em to ye, eh?" The teller nodded.

"How many of ye are they?" Xavier turned and began to count again. (You'd think he'd have the number memorized by now.) "Twenny-six? So, are ye changin' all yer money, or just some?" Slightly stunned at the speed of her counting, Xavier just passed a large number of bills towards the teller. Taking them, the teller looked, and counted out the American. Striking some random keys on her computer for effect, she pulled out piles of Canadian. "Would ye like yer money in hundreds, fifties, or twennies?"

"Mostly twenties please." The teller nodded and began counting out twenties, puling them out of one hand and counting at a lightning fast pace.

"Twennyfortysixtyeightyhundredtwennyfortysixtyeightytwotwennyforty…" She continued in a manner that even rivaled Pietro. "Here ye are, two thousan', all in twennies. Have fun." Xavier turned, and gave each person four bills.

"If you want any more money, you will have to change some of your own. Eighty should be plenty for your needs. I will provide you with additional funds at our next stop. I will give you another twenty there, at each place that we make a stop. That will be all now, those of you coming on the tour, we will now follow Luke."

"One question, where can Remy get a good cup o' coffee?"

"Tim Hortens, that's the place alright. Are all of ye achin' for some caffeine? I'll take ye over there, free o' charge." Once again, the group followed Luke out and around the block.

"If this Tim Hortens is so good, why have Ah never heard of it?" Rogue asked Luke. 

"Cuz you Yanks have this thing abou' Canadian ideers."

"What's a 'timbit' dude?" Evan was looking up at the various items offered on the menu.

"Liddle doughnuts."

"Are they any good?" Bobby was again looking around, trying to see anyone eating a 'timbit'.

"Order some and find out fer yerselves." The younger mutants ordered a Family Pack, and everyone took one of the doughy balls. The older mutants sat down, looking at the cups of coffee dubiously. Never before had a Tim Hortens run out of timbits.

Full of doughy goodness, the X-Men and Lance went out to find something to amuse themselves. Entering the residential district, Tabby, Amara, Kitty and Jubilee began to ask for directions to the nearest mall. Upon receiving them, they hopped the first bus heading in the general direction they had been pointed in.

The remaining eight mutants wandered around, coming upon a group playing street hockey.

"Woah! These guys play hockey in the summer? Without any ice?"

"Ye got a problem with that, Yankee?" The group stopped playing and circled the smaller group of mutants. Everyone steeled themselves, ready for a fight, Rahne snarled and half changed, while Evan popped spikes out of his back, and various hands began to charge with various energies. Rogue removed a glove, and Kurt turned off his image inducer, hoping to scare the other teens off at the sight of his true self.

"So ye be muties? Fry! Ain't ye one too?" The first kid stepped forward, cracking his knuckles, beginning to glow gently.

"If it's a fight ye want, I can give ye all a spankin'." Sam paled, obviously the only one who knew what John was saying.

"What's a spanking?" Lance asked, everyone looked at him and shrugged. Sam spent a minute backing away from Fry before he answered.

"A very, very painful beating." Everyone shrugged again, as Fry neatly dispatched Lance. Flipping him over, he began to spank Lance. Bobby threw a blast of ice and froze Fry. His friends didn't seem at all bothered by this. Fry absorbed all of the ice, and everything else thrown at him. Evan's spikes, Ray's electrical charges, everything. He even accidentally absorbed Kurt's tail and Rogue's hand.

"Sorry miss, Fuzzbutt! Get your tail outta my shoulder!"

"I'm stuck! Help!"

"Hey! You're German? I don't got no quarrels wid you. Except your tail's still in my shoulder!" Something landed very near Fry and Kurt. And then exploded, separating Kurt and Fry, Fry merely absorbed the force of the explosion.

"I guess dat Xavier was right in sendin' Remy ta look after yous kids. Yous are already fightin' wid de natives."

"Hey! Cajun! This ain't your fight! Get outta here!" Fry was glowing very brightly now, he suddenly dimmed, and everything he had absorbed, except Kurt's tail and Rogue's hand, came flying out. The explosive force, the ice, the electrical energy, the spikes, everything. Knocking every person flat on their butts. "Alrighty Ice Boy, if ye want to play on ice, ye make the rink. We'll provide the equipment. Ye guys against us, all out powers. National rules. Sound fair?"

Everyone nodded. Bobby froze a large area, creating an ice rink, while the Canadian players ran home to grab the extra equipment needed. Before long, everyone had a helmet, hockey stick, pair of skates, and a few rudimentary pieces of equipment. An innocent bystander was roped into reffing the game. A large stocky boy named Mike was in goal, and Evan was playing goal for the X-Men. Remy was sitting by, watching, while Bobby was trying to explain the NHL rules to Kurt, Rahne, Rogue and Sam. Fry took center forward, and Ray took the position for the X-Men. Ref (Who the innocent bystander will be called now) dropped the puck and blew the whistle, starting the game. 

Fry stole the puck, absorbing the blast of electricity Ray sent his way, and passed over to his wingman, who Rogue promptly dropped. Stealing the puck, and using the other kid's abilities, she blew past the first defender, only to be stopped by the second one. Once again, the puck was stolen. And turned around. The game continued in such a fashion, until Bobby got in the way of a slap-shot.

"I think we better get him some help Fry." The kid named Meryll said.

"He's faking. Play on!"

"He ain't getting' up." 'she poked him with her stick.

"We've all been hit in the crotch before, we've survived!" The other boys on the team nodded.

"He still ain't getting up."

"Play on!"

"He ain't breathin' either."

"Uh oh. That's ain't good. Any you Yanks ready to do some mouth-to-mouth on this kid?" Fry turned to the X-Men sitting on the bench. "No? We better find someone who is willin' then, afore he turns blue."

"He's changin' colour." Mike said, skating over, "An' the ice is meltin'. Cool!  He's turning' the same colour as one of the old fivers!" A woman rushed out of her house and over to the blue Bobby.

"Haven't I warned ye all abou' playin' withou' the proper 'quipment? Now look at what've ye done ter yer new friend!" She gave Bobby a sharp kick in the sides. He began to cough and sputter, than rolled around, clutching his private parts, moaning. "Now git home and git the rest of yer equipment afore the rest of yer are hit! Git! Go!" The old lady shooed them all off. The X-Men and Lance picked up Bobby, and left their borrowed equipment o the now rapidly melting ice. Running from the lady as fast as they could, they ran into Tabby, Amara, Jubilee and Kitty, returning from what looked like a semi-successful mall crawl.

"We got kicked out." Amara said mournfully.

"We're going back, like, as soon as we put all this, like, stuff away though!"

"What happened to him?" Jubilee pointed to Bobby, who was limping along.

"He got hit, down under." Kurt offered. The girls winced, having a slight idea of the pain Bobby now felt. They all hopped onto a bus, that returned them to their hotel.

Bobby, Sam, Ray, Evan, Kurt, and Lance all remained behind, playing cards, and giving Bobby an ice pack and a chance to recover. Rogue and Rahne opted to follow the shop-a-holics for round two of their shopping spree.

"They don't have DKNY, I can't believe that!" Jubilee was complaining, just a little.

"Yeah, and what is the Bay? I've never, like, even heard of it before!"

"Ooo! What's Northern Reflections? Or Columbia?" Tabby, ever the kleptomaniac, was on the hunt for items that stores had on sale for a five-fingered discount.

"Ah just want ta find a store where Ah can get another book an' some more batteries."

"You mean you don't want to do any other kind of shopping?" Amara looked at Rogue as if she were crazy. Rogue shook her head no.

"Hey, look! There's Storm! What's she doing?"

"I don't know Rahne, maybe we should go take a look!" Tabby ran over to the item Storm had left behind. "It looks like a tailpipe from a car. She beat me to stealing a tailpipe!" Tabby was truly disappointed. Turning, the five girls left the tailpipe, and finished their shopping.

"I can't believe that their fives are blue! And their tens are purple!" Amara had been caught off guard by Canadian funny money. She was talking to Jean, who was extremely bored from the tour. Everyone but Hank was.

"Hey, did you two hear about the mall we were at earlier?" Kitty popped her head in through the wall. Amara and Jean both shook their heads. Kitty popped the rest of her in and turned on the T.V. She then continued on to the next room.

"It blew up?" Amara asked, slightly stupidly, staring at the news report. "Boom-Boom! Jubilee! Which one of you blew up the mall?" She went out, looking for heads.

They boys were still sitting, playing cards. Each of them had half-a-dozen of the little boxes. Each identical to Larry's, except for the names scrawled on the sides. There was a Jamie clone playing look-out for any of the chaperones, Acolytes, or Scott.

"I'll raise you Betsy, and toss in Eddie." Lance had started off with Eddie, and won five other little boxes from Kurt.

"I fold. Adios Harry!" Roberto called out to the little box he had tossed into the pile.

"Me too. Sorry Kelly! I'll win you back! I promise!" Jamie (the original) had a few tears in his eyes."

"I'm in, see you soon Larry!" Bobby had hung onto Larry the entire time.

"Full house!" Lance cried triumphantly. He began scooping up the five boxes in the centre.

"Oooo. Nice Lance, but not good enough! Four of a kind kings! I'll take those!" He reached over and delicately plucked Eddie, Betsy, Harry, Kelly, and Larry from Lance's grasp.

"Damn! I lost the mouse! And my rat!" Jamie turned and looked at Bobby, his eyes slowly filling up with tears.

"Fine! Have your roach back!" Roberto looked at Bobby, tears in his eye. "Sorry 'Berto, but you ain't cute enough to pull it off."

"I'll pay you then." Bobby shook his head. "Teach you how to swear in Portuguese?" Bobby's eyes lit up.

"Deal!" He handed over the box marked Harry.

"Mr. McCoy is comin'!" The Jamie clone by the door shouted out, Running toward the original, disappearing along the way.

"Alright, everyone back to their rooms! You can stay up, but into your rooms now! I'll be waking you all up bright and early tomorrow!" Everyone groaned, especially Ray. He still had to share with Toad.

A/N: There! My parents are working against me every step of the way on this one. My muse finally hits me, and I have to go to sleep! Plus, I'm being dragged down to Las Vegas for a week, which means, I'm going to miss Canada Day! *breaks down and sobs, while muse pats back* I did manage to con them into bringing the laptop though, I don't know if I can hook up the internet. Will try so I can update! I also must apologize to Eastern Canadians everywhere. I'm absolutely horrible at accents. Please don't stone me!


	7. Of Beer and Poker

A/N: Bonus points for anyone who knows where the beer scene is from! Anyway, still haven't been allowed on the internet for more than five minutes, so, I'm just going to type now.

Logan, Hank, and the Acolytes (minus Pietro) were on the search for a bar.

"How about this one?" Hank turned to the group following him. They all shook their heads for the umpteenth time.

"For the last time Hank, we're looking for a place to get some alcoholic beverages, not the library, not the museum, and definitely not city hall! The only government building where we'll get booze is the provincial building in Alberta!" Logan was alcohol deprived, and therefore, not in a good mood.

"Vhat about this place?" Piotr asked, pointing to a building with a glass front. A very dirty glass front, with the lettering barely visible. What was visible was the word _Big Shots_. The Acolytes nodded in agreement, so the six mutants walked into the building, walking out again three moments later, very shaken and disturbed. Hank, ever so calm and composed, bent over and with a shaky hand, rubbed the dirt away from the rest of the glass. Underneath _Big Shots_, were the words _Karaoke Bar_.

"Remy tinks we better ask for some directions." Remy whispered to Logan, who nodded in a grim agreement. He was silently promising himself to rip out his eardrums as soon as possible. John, overhearing the passage, waylaid the first guy to come along.

"Hey, mate, care to show us to the nearest establishment that will serve us a coupla cold ones?"

"You mean bar?" The stranger asked.

"That's what he said." Sabretooth growled. The stranger nodded, in a small, frightened, non-threatening way.

"Two blocks thataway, right turn, and you'll be right near the Lionhead tavern, eh?" Sabretooth growled his thanks. The Acolytes, Logan and Hank all turned left. "Yer other left!" The stranger called after their retreating backs. Seeing them ignore him and continue, he shrugged and moved onward.

Three minutes later, the group of mutants arrived at a local tavern. None of them knew how, but they were in front of a bar. Not the Lionhead either, but it was a bar. They were all desperate now, so they entered and approached the bartender.

"Barkeep, serve us up six frosty ones." Logan told him. The bartender nodded.

"What kind o' beer do yous want know?" Sabretooth and Logan growled while the others gave it a moments thought.

"Fosters mate."

"Remy tinks he'll try a… Molson?" Remy was not sure he had pronounced the name right.

"Anything that tastes good." Piotr's response.

"Do you serve dry martini's?"

"What kinda establishment d'ya think I run here? No, I don't serve any of those fancy drinks here! It's beer or nuttin'!" The bartender folded his arms, angry that this blue, furry man would ever accuse his bar of being that high end.

"Well, I'll have whatever he's having." Hank replied, gesturing towards Logan. The bartender snorted.

"Bottle or tap?" Was his next question.

"Bottle."

"Remy will 'ave de bottle."

"Tap mate!" Two growls from Logan and Sabretooth.

"What's tap?" Hank was beginning to get on the bartender's nerves.

"Tap, would be in a glass eh." The bartender said, nice and slowly, as if dealing with a child.

"Oh, tap then please." The bartender reached and gathered two glasses, a Molson's, a Labatt Blue, a Keiths, and a Labatt Lite. He walked over to the taps, dusted them off, and pulled the lever. At first, only dust poured out. After two minutes of waiting, a foamy liquid poured out, filling the glass in seconds. 

"There's yer drinks. Now, three bucks a pop. Hank nodded, and handed over a twenty. The bartender took it, and passed Hank a strange looking coin. "One last thing afore ye can drink these, I need to know yer nationality." Logan and Sabretooth growled again. The bartender nodded and passed them the Labatt and Labatt Lite respectively.

"Russian." Piotr said proudly, and the bartender passed him the Keiths.

"Aussie!" John got his Fosters.

"Remy be American!"

"What part?"

"N'Orleans."

"I'm warning ye then, this is a powerful drink!"

"Remy can 'old 'is liquor!" The bartender nodded and passed over the Molsons. He turned to Hank. Hank parted the fur on his upper arm, and pointed to a tattoo of the American flag.

"American? What part?"

"Doesn't my tattoo prove that I can hold my liquor?"

"A real tattoo would, a temporary tattoo just proves that yer desperate, eh?" He looked over to the Acolytes and Logan, all of whom began to chuckle. Hank looked very down and out.

"Just give me my drink." He said quietly.

"Can ye boys be sure that he gets back to where 'e belongs alright?" Everyone nodded. "Here y'go then. Be careful wid that now, eh?" The bartender passed the glass over to Hank. Hank took it and downed it all in one gulp.

"Another un pleashe." He said in a slurred way. They all began to laugh, and Logan nodded. The bartender filled another glass, passing it to Hank. This time, the furry man took it and joined the others. He began to spout information from the tour, directions to Hawaii, and chess moves.

"Dij you know, that thish entire town wash built on knight to H-7?" He began to move his hands around, exaggerating his motions. 

"D'ya have a chess board? Remy tinks he can beat Fuzzball 'ere!" The bartender, grinning, nodded and pulled out an ancient, and rarely used chess board. Setting it up, Remy made his first move, and waited for Hank to spout another random move.

"Pawn to C-4 wash the name of the founding mayor! He built the toen by taking a left turn on the I90!" Hank waved his hands and glass around. At the peak of the arc, a single drop spilled from his glass. Everyone watched as it fell in slow motion. The bartender's grin was replaced by an expression of pure horror and anger. Before the drop even hit the ground, he had jumped over the bar and was in Hank's face.

"You're spilling good Canadian beer on the ground! Do you know what happens when Canadian beer is spilt? Yankees get hurt! I might let this one go though, iffen you can tell me who's Mr. Spillypants?" Hank roared and raised his drink high up in the air.

"ME! Queen to G-6!"

"Aw, Fuzzball just beat Remy!" Remy looked down at the chess board, with a mournful face.

"C'mon. Finish your drink Hank, and we'll take you to go get a real tattoo." Logan finished off his beer and dragged Hank out of the bar. The Acolytes followed, and the bartender was busy shooting angry glares at Hank. Suddenly remembering that Hank hadn't paid for his second drink, he went flying after them.

"Come back 'ere and pay you lousy bastards!" Remy stole Hank's wallet and gave the bartender a purple bill. The guy took it and gave Remy a blue bill and another funny coin. Remy pocketed the money and replaced Hank's wallet. A growl from Logan, and he put the bill and coin into Hank's pocket as well.

"Now vhat?" Piotr asked.

"Now, we get Blue Boy here a tattoo and get him sobered up." Logan continued dragging Hank, until they reached what looked like a tattoo parlor. He opened the door and seated Hank down in the chair. The man turned and looked, taking a moment to realize his new client was covered in fur. The fact that he was drunk didn't bother the guy.

"Whaddya want?" He asked Hank.

"Purple pink fairies dancing in their underwear!" The tattooist stared for a moment, then turned to the other mutants.

"What does he want?" The Acolytes turned to Logan. He shrugged, and parted Hank's fur to find the temp tattoo.

"Can ya just go over this one bub?" The tattooist nodded and began to retattoo Hank.

Back in the hotel rooms, now that the young mutants were awake, and thoroughly disgusted with their roommates, they set up a game of poker. The boys pocketed their little boxes. The game was that whoever won, could pick their new roommate.

"I win!" Bobby shouted exultantly. He threw down his royal flush.

"You cheated!" Jean had checked his mind, and saw him slip the King of hearts from his sleeve. Using her telekinesis, she made half a deck of cards fly out from various spots on his body.

"That's no fair! I say he rooms with Toad for cheating!" Amara didn't want to have to room with Toad.

"I second it!"

"Hey! I ain't that bad yo!"

"Let's vote, those who say Bobby rooms with Toad for cheating," Everybody's hand shot up before Scott even finished. "Well, Bobby, you're rooming with Toad."

"I say he has to use on of the single bedrooms!" Ray felt like some excruciating torture, especially after last night, where he had to put up with Toad. Somebody seconded it, and it was decided. Before they could protest, Bobby and Toad were thrown into the first empty single room.

"Ah think that was cruel an' unusual punishment. Can we do it again?" Rogue had a slightly unbalanced look in her eyes. Everyone returned to the poker game. Jean began to look at every one else's hand, determined to get at Scott before anyone else.

"Full house, Aces over kings!" Jean threw down her hand just as Logan and the Acolytes returned, dragging a smashed Hank.

"What are you kids doin'?" Logan asked, seeing all but two of the young charges sitting in a circle, in the middle of the hallway.

"Playing poker."

"Whatcha playin' for? Can Remy join?" Remy sat down.

"New roommates!" Jamie said enthusiastically. 

"You can play, I guess." Scott said, just before he was dragged off by Jean.

"New deal. One-eyed jacks, kings with an axe, and queens with a cross are wild." Lance began dealing out the cards. "Winner picks new roommate, no arguments. Royal flush is no wilds."

Remy looked at his cards, they were all wilds. He kept his best poker face, and discarded none. They were playing with four decks, so everyone would be able to play. Kitty had a good hand and a terrible poker face, in fact, they all had terrible poker faces. Except for Rogue and Kurt. Logan had already left, and Sabretooth followed, between them they could carry or drag Hank back to the room he was sharing with the Professor.

"Remy calls. Five o' a kind aces!" He spread the cards out on the carpet. Everyone else threw their hands down in a grumpy manner. Except Kurt.

"Ha! I got you beat mein freund! Royal flush spades!" Kurt put his cards down, and Remy stared. Kurt sat back and began to contemplate who he wanted as his roommate. There was Rahne, who wouldn't mind being in the same room as another fuzzball. But then, Kitty. It was a tough choice.  "Kitty!" He finally said. Kitty and Lance both looked disgusted. He ported away, taking Kitty with him. And returned within a few moments. 

"Did anyone, like, notice that Jean and Scott took the other single?" Kitty asked. Everyone looked at everyone else, and stared.

"Thank-you ever so much for scarring me Kitty!" Jubilee looked pointedly at Kitty.

"You think you're scarred?" Kurt looked at Jubilee all buggy eyed. Realizing what Kurt was saying, everyone dropped their cards and ran into a random room, oblivious to who ran into the room with them. Did I mention that they were all screaming? Roberto, Tabby and Spyke found themselves in a room with a total stranger. They took a moment to stare, and then ran out into an empty room. Rahne found herself all alone in on room, so she changed into a wolf, and began to chase her tail, and…do some other stuff that dogs do.

Rogue ran into a room, and locked the door behind her. Turning, she saw one of the Acolytes facing her.

"Good evenin'! Well, maybe it's not dat good of an evenin'." Rogue stared.

"Yah ain't about to give me another card that's going to explode, are ya?" Remy shook his head.

Jamie found himself in the same room as Piotr, and promptly wet himself. St. John and Jubilee found themselves together. Along with a strange wind.

"You can stop now mate. She ain't part o' the B-hood!" With a screech, Pietro stopped, and he was panting.

"Ack!She'sthegossipmonger!They'llknowforsurethatI'mherenow!I'mdead!Wanda'sgoingtokillme!" Jubilee was grinning from ear to ear. Some serious blackmail material.

Ray and Sam looked at each other. Sam pulled out a pack of cards, and the little boxes that had names on the side. Ray pulled out his boxes, and they continued to play.

"We should make a list of who's got who, and who's what." Sam said, looking down at his hand.

"Well, Tabby and Jubilee and pyrotechnic junkies, and Tabby's a klepto in the bargain-"

"No, I mean Bobby has Larry and Larry's a mouse. Bobby also has Eddie and he's a rat. Betsy is the other mouse, and Carrie is the bat."

"Who's got the lizard?"

"I think I do." Sam began to open all the little boxes. "Whoops!" He launched himself after a tiny bug. "Well, I got the flea!" Stuffing the creature back into it's box, he picked up his cards again. "We can do that in the morning."

Wanda and Fred were the only ones running randomly around in the hall. Until Wanda ran into Freddy and knocked herself out. Big Fred picked her up and brought her into the one remaining room.

"Toad's gonna kill me if he find's out!" He mutterd to himself, closing the door.

A/N:  They hit the island next. Potato Province!

Panther- Romyness is contagious. 

ishandahalf- I wanted to do just that, but my parents wouldn't let me. Something about bad relations. I tried anyway, but singing O Canada at the top of my lungs didn't get so much of a twitch.

Nueva Yui Maxwell- They will make it to every province and territory. Quebec will be lots of fun. And so will the metric system!

Jean, Ororo, Rogue, and Kurt- Romance and so forth might come, at Niagara, Scott and Jean (I assume you mean them together) were in this chapter. I also have to up the rating now. Not that many people pay attention. Or do you? I don't. I often get surprises in that manner. I like your stories! Please continue both of them!

Kaminarimon- I've been too embarrassed to say this in past chapters, but New Bunswick is non-existent. It comes from my personal typo of New Brunswick. From me ignoring my spell-check and not reading stuff over very carefully. I am ashamed to call myself Canadian. I have corrected that error, and will now cower in fear of the Canadians reading this, and hope they don't injure me too severely.

Now that I've admitted that, I will await my muse to knock me. Well, he has knocked me, but it's about a rewrite of some chapters in my other X-Men fic. As soon as I'm done that, I'll await the almighty knock, to send me into a mighty typing frenzy. Until then.

Adios

The writer formally known as darkdragon88

Chaotic Boredom


	8. In Search of a Good Time

A/N: Don't you just love these lovely little notes from yours truly? I finished the rewrites for Darkdragon, and another chapter. Darkdragon is my muse, and my muse is extremely self-centered. It really isn't healthy. Anyway, after that, my muse has been obliging enough to tap me for this story. Jubilee, I don't know that much about her, so I'll assume that she couldn't keep a secret to save her coat. They're on the road again. Isn't there a song titled that?

Panther Nesmith- It wouldn't be a very good idea, but you could try! Good Luck finding 'New Bunswick' on a map.

the witch- I'm in Canada, we don't get Cartoon Network. Well, I don't, and I have satellite. But I can watch Evo twice, once when it's played in the East, and again on YTV West. Same Ep, but I'll take whatever I can get.

JaSSie- Duct tape's great. I have a whole chapter of it in Darkdragon. Sabretooth in the Red Green, maybe him and Logan, I don't know. I'll be playing with that idea.

Chole-Wagner- Have you ever read any of Kurt-Ling's? You might like hers. And I do excuse the pun, because Toronto in July can hit an easy thirty degrees. But then, it was snowing in Calgary, today. During the Stampede. Wonderful weather.

kiki- I'm closer than you thought. I just live on the other side of the Rockies. Nowhere near the Great Lakes. I just figured that YTV's headquarters are in Toronto. I don't know. I'm so confused.

Etwa- Jonda? John/Wanda I'm assuming? I don't know, I can try though!

princess-freak- Mags and Mystique will be around later, I have an idea for them…

psychobunny410- You not knowing a lot about Canada shouldn't be a big problem, you might even learn something from this! 

Onward, noble vans! To Potato Province! Oh, and as for the festival, I don't know a whole lot about PEI, so I made it up, and if there is a festival similar to that, well, I'm psychic! Wooo! Nope, just purely a figmentation of my imagination.

"Bobby! What did you, like, eat last night?" Kitty held her nose, fanning the air in front of her.

"It isn't me! I swear!" Bobby held up his hands.

"She's right! You are disgusting!" Sam put down his cards and held his nose.

"Why are you blaming me?"

"Because Kurt's, like, not here!"

"Who ran over the skunk?" Logan asked as all three of the shop-a-holics covered their noses, gagging at the stench. Ororo was once again behind the wheel, muttering things about gunpowder and ignition switches. Logan looked over at her. 'If she doesn't snap out of this, I might have to drive this thing.'

"Will ya turn that crap off already?" Rogue yelled at Hank. Everyone but him was covering their ears. Hank said nothing and only turned the volume up louder.

"This is damaging to our health!" Kurt wailed.

"This is good experience. You should truly experience the local music!" Hank grinned as they continued along.

"Well, why aren't we allowed to experience local brews?" 

"Because you're too young Raymond." Ray winced at his name.

"An' cuz he doesn't want us to see him get smashed after a single drink again." Rahne giggled at Roberto's words. Hank's reply was to turn the fiddle music up even louder.

The Acolytes were driving along again. They were all teasing Pietro about getting caught by Jubilee.

"Tabby and the princess will know by tonight."

"What are yous tinkin'? Dey know already!"

"I'mdoomed,doomedIsay,doomedtoahorribledeathatmysister'shands!"

"Ten dollars says that half of the X-Men know by the time we stop."

"You're on mate. I think all of them will know by our next stop!" John and Piotr shook hands.

And finally, the Brotherhood and their jeep.

"I wish Kitty would phase out of the van again, so we could pick her up." Lance was talking to the steering wheel.

"You had no right to take my cupcake into your room!" Toad was trying to beat up Fred, but needless to say, it wasn't working very well.

"You were already locked up with Icepick, and then she fainted, and I was the only one who wasn't in a room."

"I thought you were my friend yo! How could you do this to me?" Fred said nothing and looked very ashamed.

"Man, that was one big bridge!" Evan had finally been allowed out of his seat. Jubilee had spent nearly the entire trip whispering to Tabby and Amara. And giggling. Evan was beginning to understand how Auntie O felt. Kitty and Rahne walked over and joined the small group. They all began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Alright everyone, now, I'm going set down a few ground rules I should have put down yesterday." Everyone groaned as Xavier pulled out a list. He unrolled it, and unrolled it, and unrolled it, and unrolled it, and unrolled it, and…you get the idea. Finally reaching the top, he began to read. "No destructive use of your powers, you must learn at least one thing about this province, no shopping, you can do that in Bayville. No food that may cause gastro-intestinal distress, and play nice with the natives!" Xavier began to roll up his list. By the time he had finished, he remembered one last thing. "And most definitely no-" He looked up. "-alcohol?" Everyone was gone. The Professor sighed, and began to wonder if it had really been a good idea to bring his young charges to Canada.

"No shopping, man, what are we going to do today?" Tabitha stretched. Pietro came running in front of her.

"You'regoingtokeepyourmouthshutaboutme!Wanda'llkillmeifyoudon't!" Amara and Jubilee giggled. Kitty looked like she had half a mind to find Wanda.

"We won't tell anyone…In exchange for a few favors." Tabby's smile grew ever wider. Pietro paled.

"You guys comin' or what?" Scott was sitting in one of the vans, waiting, along with all the others.

"There's a festival today in Charlottetown." Jean was looking over a tour guide book she had found somewhere.

"What kinda name is Charlottetown?" Ray wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"What's it all about?" Kitty hung herself over one of the seats, phasing through Sam and Ray.'

"Potatoes." Jean looked at the guide again.

"Potatoes?" Bobby and his fellow card players looked up at Jean.

"Yes, potatoes, apparently it's their major crop."

"Hey, any excuse to party, right?" The rest of the van nodded in agreement with Jubilee.

"So where is Charlottetown?"

"Pull over and ask." Jean said absently, pulling out some more stuff to look through.

"We don't need to pull over, just check the map." Scott, being a guy, knew where he was.

"No, ask for directions." The mutants in the backseat leaned back, ready for a show. They had crammed ten people into the van, and another nine into the van behind them, and three into the jeep, leaving Logan, Sabretoth, Xavier, Ororo, and Hank back at the hotel.

"Hey mate! Do they fight like this all the time?" Kurt shook his head.

"Nein, mein fiery friend, they never fight, so enjoy the show while it lasts!" John leaned back, putting his arms behind his head, to enjoy the show.

Through some lack of foresight, the second van had been left with three choices for driver, Remy, Tabby, and Rogue. The mutants were lucky enough to have pushed Rogue into the van, so they didn't try to get her into the drivers seat, and they had all seen Remy peel out of the hotel parking lot earlier that morning, so, young and naïve as the new mutants were, they gave the keys to Tabby. Amara had promptly walked over and entered Scott's van, having experienced Tabby's driving. Those remaining in the van now regretted giving Tabby the driver's seat. Except Remy and Rogue, Rogue had had her discman and books confiscated, in an attempt to get her to socialize, and was now rather grumpy. Remy seemed to just really enjoy the ride.

"Tabby! Slow down!" Evan cried out for the third time in less than two minutes.

"I'm going the speed limit! See! That sign there says hundred, and Scott's going just as fast!"

"Scott uses the brake from time to time!" Jamie was trying to get away from Piotr, but still stay in a safe place.

"Tabitha!"

"What now Rahne? Don't tell me you're getting scared about this speed now! Why don't ya go back to hangin' your head outta that window?"

"Tabitha, the signs are all in metric! That's why we're going so bloody fast! That's a hundred _kilometers_ per hour! Not miles! Slow down lass, afore ye get us all killed!"

"Oops, well, we have to keep up with Scott, don't we?" Rahne shrugged, and returning to wolf form, poked her face out the window once again.

Remy grinned, and stretched his arms out, putting them on the top of the seat. He was sitting between Rogue, and Wanda. The two girls simultaneously glared at the Cajun, he promptly removed his arms, putting them back behind his head. "Looks like Remy picked de wrong seat." He muttered to no one in particular.

It took little or no time to find out that they had passed Charlottetown when they finally stopped for directions, thanks to Jean. They turned around, and with Scott driving a hundred mile per hour, they were there in no time. Parking was not difficult, and before long, the twenty-odd mutants were ready to party.

"Bobbing for potatoes? Alright then!" Evan led the charge for the midway games, with Scott hot on his heels. The girls watched, and watched, as the guys tried repeatedly to win a giant stuffed animal for them. The girls watched them miss, again and again, and again. After twenty or so tries from the guys, the girls pushed them out of the way. They each got a giant toy on their first shot. The guys turned bright red.

"Man, what is it with them and the girl power thing?" Evan asked Kurt.

"Dere's times when you jus' let 'em do it demselves." Remy patted Kurt and Evan on the back.

"I didn't see you winning any giant stuffed animals." Kurt looked up at the red-on-black eyes.

"Remy wasn't tryin'." He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"Da, neither was I." Jamie tripped and fell, hearing the giant Russian voice come from behind him. Piotr bent over, and picked two of the three Jamies up, leaving the third to run wildly away. The remaining two wet themselves, again. Jean lifted them up, and placed them back on solid ground, where they disappeared.

"Great! Now we have to find Jamie! Rahne? Can you lend us a hand?"

"Nay, but my nose is at always at yer disposal." Rahne grinned, and began trying to scent the small boy. Evan grabbed Roberto and Bobby, and pointed at the roller-coaster that could be seen off in the horizon. The three promptly took off, abandoning the quickly dwindling group of mutants. Wanda and Rogue stood, just glaring at everyone and everything in general, as Remy tried to pull them towards the Ferris wheel.

"C'mon! You two can't just stand there all day! Dat'd be boring!"

"Watch me Swamp-Rat!" Rogue turned all of her glaring towards Remy. Remy backed off, holding his hands up.

"All right, all right. If that's what you want, den Remy's gonna go off and enjoy himself." Wanda snorted.

Jean and Scott quickly realized this fair was not the best and the brightest idea they had had.

"Let's see, we have Rogue, Wanda, Ray, Piotr, John," Jean winced as a huge fireball went off in the distance. "Okay, scratch John, there's Fred and Toad."

"Look at what I won Cuddlecakes!" Toad hopped over to Wanda, holding a…potato. "Ya get to keep the potato if you can pick it outta the vat using your mouth!" Wanda forced the potato to blow up in Todd's face.

"And we also have…"Scott turned, to look, and saw only the Brotherhood, Rogue, and Piotr standing where there had been a relatively large group previously. "This was not a good idea." The fearless leader shook his head, as Todd went flying past.

A/N: Apologies for the lack of updates! And for the shortness of this chapter! I had to cut the chapter off here, mostly because my muse is mad at me again. My muse is not very nice. *pouts* I'm not going to be back for a while, mostly because I'll be visiting my grandparents for three weeks, and they don't have a computer, let alone one with an internet connection. I'll be trying to use my cousin's, but no promises. Anyway, I've been reading todd fan's work, suggestions from will be welcome! Mostly because I know very little about the majority of provinces. *sigh* Anyway, if you have any ideas, feel free to volunteer them, no matter how nutty they may be, I'll try to find a way to work them in. Chaos is always enjoyable! :D 


	9. What Happened There, At the Fair, and Ca...

A/N: I have this disorder, and it forces me to put these at the beginning and end of every chapter. I am home! With ideas aplenty! My cousins are excellent for inspiration, but useless for everything else. Oh well, inspiration is always a good thing.

Panther Nesmith- Okterberfest, don't you consume large amounts of alcohol too? Oh well. Hockey is an amazing sport, and I don't play it! Nope, I can barely skate, so I'll stick to writing about hockey. And I hope that this chapter's long enough for you!

Wizard1- You're just full of wonderful suggestions! Yay! Thank-you! I'd actually forgotten Gordon Campbell, but they will meet, along with Mike! Go Mike! I am toying with Red Green stuff, for fun, and West Edmonton Mall? Wunderbar!

Taineyah- I don't know where Summerfolk is, unfortunately. I'd love to include it, if you could tell me what province.

psychobunny410- the speed limit on Alberta highways is 100 klicks, so I'm adopting it as a uniform speed limit. Scott just can't remember that Canada's metric, along with the other 98% of the planet.

Etwa- THANK-YOU!

ishandahalf- I like potatoes, but I like meat better. And nearly pointless reviews are fun, hey?

princess-freak- I think Charlottetown was named for the king's daughter or sumthin, what a great birthday present.

'Guess what sweetie? Instead of that horse you wanted, daddy named a town in the child country Canada after you!'

Shawshank- Since I got bored of my old name. They will hit the Stampede, and they'll find a way to amuse themselves in Saskatchewan…

Tazzen- Sabretooth ordered the lite beer, and NS will come after PEI, what fun they will have in Halifax.

I'd like to remind all readers, that I own nada, nothin', zip, zilch, not even my floppies, which this is stored on. How sad. 

"Jamie! Rahne!" Scott was calling out to various members of the missing team. He had also found some string and tied the remaining mutants to himself and Jean.

"This is unbelievably embarrasin'" Rogue griped under her breath. Another explosion occurred, this time coming from the bumper cars. Scott turned, and dragged the mutants behind him. Freddy followed because Scott had promised him an All-You-Could-Eat-Buffet if he co-operated. Rogue, Wanda and Lance were all fumbling with the knots Scott had tied. Wanda managed to pull hers apart, and ran away, far away, right into the hotspot of the explosions. Rogue followed, mostly because she wanted to get away from the fireballs.

"Well, les filles jus' can't stay away from Remy." Rogue turned to see Wanda and the Swamp Rat standing in front of her.

"Yoah stalkin' us." Rogue glared, while Wanda allowed her temper to grow.

"Non, Remy was only standin' here, mindin' his business, when deux filles come running towar's him. Now, what was Remy s'posed to do?"

"Run away." Wanda's monotone broke Rogue's concentration and she stopped glaring for a moment.

"Y' hurt Remy."

"Good." Rogue turned and entered the first building she spotted.

"The haunted house? Hmmm…Remy tinks he's found something else t' do." Remy walked up to the building, absent-mindedly tossing the card he'd been holding over his shoulder. Wanda watched it fall, not quite registering what the slight glow meant until…

Rogue wandered the twisted corridors. 'What kinda haunted house is this?' she wondered to herself. She'd seen scarier things when the students had been woken up at four for a training session. 'This is pitiful. Where're the mall rats when ya need 'em?' Rogue sped through the mansion as fast as she could, and began to search the fair grounds for her fellow mutants, to 'liven up' the haunted house.

Tabby had roped Kitty, Amara, John and Ray into joining her at the bumper cars. This was their fifth go, and there were only a few others who were willing to risk their lives. John kept toying with the sparks, Ray supercharged his car, Amara, Kitty, and Tabby were just driving as they usually did. There were three others who had witnessed the activities, and thought they could handle them. They were so wrong it was funny. 

Amara and Kitty started off by slamming the cars into one of the strangers. Tabby turned hard enough to lift a side of the car a centimeter off the floor. Ray flew through the other two strangers, while John made good use of the flying sparks, and began to throw fireballs around at random. Tabby started to throw her boom-balls. Rogue leaped to the side as a boomer and fireball collided in mid-air in front of her face. Ray spotted Rogue and put the pedal down. He went so fast, that Rogue had only a moment to leap to the side while Ray crashed through the wall. The car, still juiced up, continued on, stopping just in front of the caramel potato stand.

A crowd began to gather, oohing and awing at the destroyed bumper cars.  The other four mutants climbed out, cursing Ray for ruining their fun.

"Why did you have to, like, do that? That was totally awesome practice for when I get to drive!" Ray gulped, as Amara nodded in agreement with Kitty.

"This fair stinks, but Ah found a haunted house, any ideas?" Rogue had several of her own, but she had to get the others all involved. She had seen Kurt use this trick on the others many times before, so why wouldn't it work here?

"A haunted house? Woohoo! C'mon! Let's go!" Tabby began to dance away, but Rogue grabbed her shirt.

"It sucks, so Ah thought we could spice it up a bit." Tabby began to grin, as did the others.

"Spice vhat up? These caramel potatoes taste pretty good. You should try them." The small group turned and saw Kurt, with Rahne trailing close behind.

"I cannae find the lad. Do ye think he's gone back the hotel?"

"Jamie? He's, like, totally freaked out about Piotr. Something about his size, and a dream." Kitty and Rahne began to talk to each other, and Tabby and Amara joined in. Rogue grew impatient.

"All of yeh, just follow me! That haunted house needs to be fixed, now!" Rogue glared at all. All cowered, and nodded in a very submissive and non-threatening way.

"I'd hate to meet her at the wrong time of the month." John whispered to Ray and Kurt, who both moved their heads the tiniest bit in acknowledgment. Rogue led the group away.

Evan, Roberto, and Bobby were bored out of their minds. The roller-coaster was okay, but after three rides…They decided to create their own entertainment. They set to create a skateboard park. Roberto powered up, and began to mold scrap metal into useful shapes. Evan pin-cushioned the trees, creating ramps and hills. Bobby was creating slides, rails, you name it, Bobby had sculpted it. After an hour or so of work, they saw what they had created, and saw it was good. Evan retrieved three of his skateboards, and the other boys found helmets from God knows where. Evan then proceeded to show off to the other two. Before long, all three were pulling off moves that weren't half bad. 

A small crowd, similar to the one that had surrounded Ray, began to gather. In the front were three girls and their boom-box. Snickering, they put a disc in, and cranked the volume up to a level that was impossible on most boom-boxes. Some familiar words began to blast out.

_He was a boy, She was a girl, Can I make it any more obvious?_

_He was a punk, She did ballet, What more can I say?_

Bobby jerked his head, and the loaned skateboard flew out from under his feet, leaving him flat on his butt, having broken the ice rail he'd been grinding. Roberto looked and stopped himself before he started down the ramp. Evan heard the song, and began to show off even more. The three girls giggled. Bobby shrugged off the feeling that he was being watched, and rebuilt the rail. He returned to his skating, and crashed three more times. Roberto picked up his board, and sat down on the grass, near the three girls and their boom-box. Furious bouts of giggling ensued. Roberto turned his head slightly and smiled, enough to send the three girls tittering again.

Bobby landed on his back, only to watch Evan fly high overhead once more. Groaning in defeat, he stalked over to Roberto, and sat down. The three girls gave Bobby a sympathetic look, and then they all began to laugh again. The sound of applause distracted Bobby. Evan was finished his show, and took a bow. He joined his two friends, and only then noticed the girls. All his confidence melted away, Roberto smiled again, while Bobby looked at his feet. The girls picked up their stereo, and slowly walked over. Evan looked like he was ready to bolt, Roberto seemed perfectly calm, and Bobby…He decided that he needed to prove something. He iced over. The girls laughed.

"Well, I've heard of ice queens, but this is a new one. Whatcha think Kath? Think ya can melt 'im?"

"This one looks like a jelly-fish! So cute!" The shortest girl hugged Evan, who wished he could trade everything-well, everything but his skateboard-for Kitty's ability.

"Why don't you boys take us down to the beach tonight? There's gonna be fireworks…" Kath mimicked Roberto's smile.

"What time and where?" Roberto asked, being the only male mind able to comprehend what was being asked.

"I can't believe I froze! I'm a total crackhead!"

"Yeah, well, at least you didn't literally freeze! Rob, why didn't you stop me?" Roberto said nothing, and continued walking. "Don't give us the cold shoulder! C'mon!"

"I didn't give anyone the cold shoulder." Bobby turned red, and his face would have melted any ice he created. "Buck up, hey? We have dates, which is more'n the others can say."

Jamie was one lost little boy. If he was any younger, he'd would have sat down and cried for his mommy. He'd sent several clones off, but was getting nothing.

"Nuts. Well, they'll find me eventually." Jamie sat down, as did the thirty one clones that were all over the fairground.

Sam had been wandering, rather absent-mindedly, all over the fairgrounds. He'd been mentally compiling a list of the little boxes, their labels, contents, and current owner. It wasn't until the seventh time circling that he realized that sulky Jamie clones covered the fairgrounds.

"Hey! Get lost kid?" Sam tapped one Jamie on the head. The others immediately disappeared, and the one jumped up and gave Sam a bear hug.

"You found me! I'm not lost anymore!"

"Right, now, could ya let go a me Jamie? Ah need ta keep walkin' and it's kinda tough with you hangin' offa me like this…" Jamie didn't even loosen his grip. "Damn."

Remy was cursing inwardly. Who gets lost in a haunted house? A very bad haunted house? Nobody! He heard voices, and threw himself out the nearest door. It led to the roof. Looking down, there was a three story drop. No problem there. What scared Remy was what was at the bottom. A singed Wanda, and a righteously angry Todd.

"Yo can't hide in there forever yo! Yore gonna have ta come out sooner or later, and when ya do, I'm gonna slime ya, and body slam ya yo!" All of Todd's threats were similarly lame. What frightened Remy was the Scarlet Witch.

"Remy in trouble. Wait, is that chere?" Remy looked carefully, and indeed, it was Rogue, leading a team of very cowed mutants. "Ah, chere organize teammates to help out Remy. Oui, why else she come back? Merci beaucoup!" Remy watched as Rogue & Co. approached the sentinels of the house, and then walked on past. "Remy tinks dat dat not a good sign."

Rogue's team, which now also included Jubilee and Piotr, spread themselves throughout the house. Those with alternate forms assumed them. Kitty sat in the kitchen, ready to stick her head up through the table, or phase through the floor. Kurt was porting wildly around, making faces. Piotr set himself up as a suit of armor right in the entrance, complete with clanky screechy metal noises. Ray toyed with the electrical system, while Rogue oversaw the entire proceedings. Before long, the house truly did seem haunted. Guest after guest ran out shrieking. The mutants were really beginning to enjoy themselves. And there was a line beginning to form. The other fairgoers saw the line, and got in it, figgering it had to be something good. Wanda and Todd kept the line in check, allowing no more than ten people at a time in the house. 

John played with the fire place, writing messages in the flames, creating faces, just freaking people out in general. Rahne sat in one room, and whenever someone passed by, she put on a huge show, slowly changing to a semi-lupine form, and then rushing the visitor. Sometimes she curled up in front of John's fire, as a friendly dog, but when someone tried to pet her, she'd become her were-self. Rogue had 'borrowed' some of Kitty's power, and was wandering the halls, her make-up making her look like a ghost. She had also dug up some chains, and was rattling them wherever she walked. Jubilee and Tabby got the worst jobs, they got to create special effects. Thunder and lightning.

"This stinks!" Tabitha grouched, as she passed by Jubilee. "They get to have all the fun!"

"I don't know, seeing the people run away from the Fire Demon Amara can be kinda funny." Tabitha opened her mouth to argue, but spotted Todd hopping through the halls furiously.

"Hey! Rogue sent me to find ya all! Scott, and Jean just came in. Heh, Lance is still stuck tied to Scott. Rogue said to put on an extra special show for 'em, got that? Good, I still gotta find Kurt yo!" Tabitha and Jubilee grinned evilly, and rushed off.

"I can't believe you did that Rogue! I thought you were more responsible! And you Kitty, how come you didn't stop her?"

"It was, like, the first time I'd seen her excited about something since we crossed the border."

"Ja! You're just angry because we all scared you in front of Jean!" Scott glared at Kurt.

"Seven times." John reminded everybody solemnly. The younger mutants began to laugh again.

"Shut-up. We still need to find Jamie." Scott began scanning the fairgrounds. "And everyone else who's missing, and find out something about this province."

"Yah can scratch th' first off yore list. Ah've found Jamie." Sam dragged himself and Jamie over to the group.

"And the last one too. Potatoes are their major export." Kurt smiled with the pride of having remembered the fact.

"And here come Bobby, Ray, and Evan." Jean rushed to say.

"So we've found every body?" Scott looked over the group, counting the mutants.

"We found something else too, dates!" Evan high-fived Bobby, while Roberto settled for looking very smug. The other mutants began to grumble about their companions luck.

"We're missing someone…" Scott had finished his count. "Where's Remy?"

"Where is Remy now? Didn't Remy pass dat room ten minutes ago? Shit. Anybody want t' help Remy? Anybody? Hello?" People walking by stared at the once again boring haunted house.

A/N: I just had to leave Remy in the house. Just had to. Anyway, I would end this here, but, I'm on a roll, and can't wait to get to Newfoundland. Not that I have anything against PEI, just cuz I do, and I'm putting NS for NF, and my fellow Canucks, you should know what I mean by that. Anyway, my cousins are extremely inspirational, so this continues on!

Evan, Roberto, and Bobby had all put on their swim stuff, with a t-shirt, and a sweater if it got cold. They were ready to go, but they needed a ride. None of them had a driver's license, so they asked Scott.

"You want me to drive you to pick up your dates, and then drop you off at the beach?" The trio nodded.

"But you'd have to bring someone, other it looks really bad on us, hey?"

"Yeah, like you icing over didn't." Evan retorted.

"Like, Where you all going?" Kitty asked, poking her head through the door.

"The beach, now buzz off."

"Really? Can I come? Please Evan?"

"We're going to end up dragging everyone, I just know it!" Bobby moaned to no one in particular.

In the end, they only needed two vans. Scott brought Jean along, Kitty came, and Kurt followed, Amara hopped in, followed by Tabby, Ray, Jamie, and Mr. McCoy. Kurt stole the keys from Tabby, preventing the possibility of her driving. Roberto, Evan, and Bobby all went in the first van with Scott and Jean. They arrived at the place, where the three girls were waiting, and giggling. They piled into the van, and Scott followed Kurt's van to the beach. (A/N: It's still relatively early, let's say…five)

While Kurt understood the metric signs, and went the appropriate speed, it only took ten minutes to get to the beach. Upon arrival, the seven mutants piled out of the van and took to the beach. Tabby, Kitty, and Amara decided it was too late to do any tanning, so they followed the three boys down the sand and into the water. The people in Scott's van were just getting out, as the six young mutants leaped into the surf. And leaped back out.

"That water's cold!" Amara screeched. The three natives laughed.

"You and yore friends really aren't from around here eh?" The shortest girl, Shannon, asked.

"The way we talk?" Evan asked. His date nodded.

"That'n you're not used ta the water."

"Watch out fer jelly-fish!" Kath called out to the swimmers, who were slowly inching their way into the water.

Hank was combing the beach, in search of native wildlife, flora and fauna, that sort of stuff. He also wanted another sample of sand for his collection. When the beach offered few results, he began to wade into the ocean. He'd smell worse than Toad tomorrow, but for the sake of science, sacrifices had to be made. He glanced over towards the younger mutants. All but Jean and Scott were in the water. They were splashing each other, happy. Jean and Scott had spread out a pair of beach towels, and were talking quietly. Smiling to himself, Hank returned his attention to the water.

"What was that?" Kitty swam furiously away from the spot she had been standing moments earlier.

"Aw, it was probly just some seaweed, nuthin' ta be afeared of eh?" Kath dove down, and returned to the surface holding a large black mass. "See? It's not gonna hurt ya." With that she turned and flung the mass at Kurt, who still had his image inducer on. It hit him square in the chest.

"Ach! It'll take me forever to get this slime out of mein fur!" He shouted without thinking.

"Ye have fur?" Shannon looked at the boy quizzically. She and her two friends had only seen the furless German, not the fuzzy dude.

"Ach! Nein! Heh heh! Nothing to see here! Absolutely nothing!" Kurt waved his hands, as if trying to disperse a crowd. Shannon shrugged her shoulders.

"Do any of you know how to catch jellyfish?" Roberto's date spoke for the first time.

"No, we don't. Care to teach us Jackie?" In response, the three girls began to scan the water, Jackie saw one, and went after it. Forcing her hand onto it, she pushed down, and flipped her hand and brought the jellyfish to the surface.

"Like that!" She held it out toward Kitty and Amara, they both backed away, frightened looks on their faces.

"Don't they sting?" Roberto asked.

"Only some kinds." Kath dove after one, and neatly brought it to the surface. "Wanna hold it?" She asked Bobby. Bobby nodded nervously. Kath walked over, and slid the shapeless creature into Bobby's hands.

"Cool! It feels like a handful of jelly!" The boys and Tabby began chasing after jellyfish. Before long, everyone had caught at least one, except Ray. They were having so much fun, they didn't notice Hank walking toward them until he suddenly dove under, after some small creature. When he appeared again, he gestured for the teens to come closer. They all did, with some reluctance on the three Canadians parts.

"What is it?" Tabby asked.

"A crab!" Shannon shouted. Hank nodded. A slew of questions followed.

"Don't they bite?"

"I thought they were much bigger!"

"Can we cook him and eat him?"

"No, they don't bit Kurt. They will snap at you with their pincers however. Certain species can grow to be much bigger, and I don't think you'd get much meat off this little one Evan. You can find them all over th- !" A string of explicatives rolled off Hank's tongue, as he shook his giant hand up and down. The tiny crab was hanging off Hank's left forefinger. With a mighty final shake, Hank slung the crab off into the distance. By that time, Kitty and Amara had run out of the water, and were sitting just where the waves were lapping at their feet. Their eyes were darting across the beach, keeping a careful lookout for the small critters. Shannon, Kath, and Jackie were all laughing. The group, minus Kitty, Amara, and Ray then began to bodysurf. Ray returned to his hunt for a jellyfish.

"Got one!" He shouted after a half hour of failed attempts. The others rushed over, but once Jackie saw the jellyfish, she began to yell.

"Let go of it! Let go!" She shrieked.

"Why?" Ray asked, as the long tentacles draped over his arm, and brushed against his leg.

"That's a stinging jelly! That's why!" Kath backed away from Ray as quickly as she could. Ray's eyes widened, and he threw the jellyfish in a fair imitation of Hank and the crab. Unfortunately, the tentacles followed the jellyfish, and whacked him in the face.

"Yore gonna be hurtin' tomorrow I tell ya." Shannon said, as she watched the jellyfish disappear. Ray whimpered, as the group made their way through the waves, to the shore. It was beginning to get dark, so they all spread out their towels in the sand, waiting for the fireworks.

Kurt, Jamie, Ray, Kitty, Amara and Tabby were sitting together, poking fun at their companions who had paired up.

"Do you think the fireworks will distract them?" Amara asked, looking at Jean and Scott.

"Let's just hope they don't go much farther." Kitty shuddered at the memory of the other night. Kurt made a face.

"Why did you have to remind me? I had just forgotten all about that!"

"Looks like Robbie's having a ton of fun with whatserface." Ray sniggered, and then started scratching the red marks that were all over his face, arms, and legs. (AN: Speaking from personal experience here! Jellyfish stings leave great red welts, and for the first few days they itch like crazy! Then, when you scratch them, they burn! Oh they burn!)

"Stop that now, you'll only get them infected. Put this on." Hank handed the young powerhouse some cream. Ray took it, and rubbed it all over.

"What does Shannon see in him anyway?" Tabby was looking pointedly over at Evan and the short girl, who looked very close.

"I don't know, maybe she's spotted his brain and figures that she better not let it outta sight." Kurt laughed at Jamie's remark. Kitty opened her mouth, but whatever she said was lost, as the first firework went off. Most of the mutants jumped. Kitty halfway phased through the sand, Tabby made a fist, ready to fling a small object at someone, Kurt bamfed away, and reappeared hiding by some nearby grass, Amara suddenly became fire demon, and Ray's hands began to glow brightly. The couples continued what they were doing, oblivious.

When the mutants realized that it was the fireworks, they powered down, and moved in the general direction of where they were coming from. It wasn't too far away. The girls returned immediately afterwards, and the boys followed after seeing them launch a few more rockets.

The display was viewed, with a few oohs and ahhs, but not many. Fireworks tend don't tend to captivate teens as well as they do young children. What did catch their attention, was the last firework to go up. It exploded into a shape.

"What is that?" Jamie asked, staring up.

"I don't know. I haven't seen it before…" Kitty stared up too.

"Well, We can stop at a library and find out, tomorrow." Hank began to round up his young charges. Herding them all back to the vans.

AN: There we go, a new chappie. PEI turned out to be a very long stop. Next, they hit Nova Scotia! Heh heh. That's where I spent the last three weeks. Quick poll, should they stop at Cape Breton Island, or Halifax? I'm making this up as I go, so it's not a problem. I don't own Sk8er Boi, I just used it because the lyrics just seem to be Evan's theme song. I just had a scary thought, I don't even like the song, and I know the lyrics. You think it's been played on the radio too much? Oh well, Avril Lavigne's Canadian, so what the hey. I still prefer Barenaked Ladies, and they're Canadian too! Whoo! There's lotsa Canadian groups, but I'm not a huge music buff, so I can only name…three, I think, maybe four. Oh well. I'm rambling, so I'll let you go now. Except JaSSie! I don't know Sum 41 very well, but I may use the concert idea, just a different band. I don't know. And the snowboarding idea is wunderbar! I didn't respond to your review earlier, so apologies! Holiest of Holies! Nine pages! Funkydoodle!


	10. Kentucky Duck, and Green Leather Couches

Heh, lookie! An update! And it's only been a week (more or less)  since I last updated! Whoo! On a roll! Let's see if I actually can get into a weekly update pattern…Maybe…anyway, the general consensus is for Halifax. Heh, such a funny name, Halifax. Amuse myself for hours, just repeating that name, over and over and over and I'm done there. Reviews!

Shawshank- I've borrowed funkydoodle, but I'm slowly creating some…choice…phrases of my own, as well as borrowing words from other languages. And I've decided to do something completely unlike me, just for the sake of it. And no, the three girls aren't based on my cousins or sister, my cousins are too young…and my sister…well…just no. I don't know her well enough.

rogueandkurt- There's lots of Canadian writers…I think. *looks around* Yes, some people are so dense about Canada that it's…frightening…I don't get kids WB, too far away from a major American city. Whew. *wipes sweat off forehead* YTV is getting to the new stuff…slowly…and slowly…THEY START SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 6TH! PARTAY! I'm done. Really needed to do that, and I also hope they show the last four eps of season two…need to catch them on tape…

princess-freak- Don't worry about Remy, he has some very special people looking out for him. And as for the shape they saw…I haven't really decided yet. And you aren't getting annoying, but, if you want lessons…*flashes giant smile*

psychobunny410- Yes, that was one of the few I did know was Canadian, but thx anyway!

JaSSie- Wowsers! A list of Canadian bands! Danke! As for what's going to happen in the other provinces…we shall see…8D

ringSfan- heh, glad you like! I really do love Romy, it's just…right. That sounded weird…even for me…

Panther Nesmith- Gotta agree with ya there! Let's face it, Barenaked Ladies is amazing! Beer is so much a part of Canadian culture, I'm surprised there isn't a Canadian festival celebrating it! Another reason why Canada is a better place to live. Legal drinking age is 18 for most provinces! Yes it is. Unfortunately, I'm not old enough, but I will be before long! Woo! I'm done.

Appin Took- Not a problem, I've been dragged away to vacation too, so I know the feeling. And Yea! Stan Rogers! Woo! Dumb plane…had to crash…*walks away, grumbling about plane crashes*

Flamingo1- You went through BC? Poor you…it's beautiful, yes, but the government there is waiting for the bill to go through, then they're gonna start a tax on breathing. Heh, yup. Well, maybe I'm slightly biased…I don't live in BC, and I grew up with my dad's BC tax rants, fun fun! And yes, Canadian animals are suicidal. I know a guy who hit a moose, and a deer, and a caribou…all in the space of one year…ouch.

Taineyah- Ontario? They'll stumble across several places…and I'm glad you told me the drinking age. Heh, must suck to live in Ontario…most of Canada is a year younger…And you're right…most of them don't look like kids.

There we go. There's responses to reviews, and since some of you mentioned it, jellyfish stings are painful, but sometimes, they wash up on the beach, and then you can leave footprints on 'em if you don't step on the tentacles! Mindless violence…ahhh, such fun. Also, since it's been a common comment (or semi-common) Remy will be taken care of. And yes, haven't done one of these for a while, so…

DISCLAIMER: THE WAFFLES ARE COMING!! THE WAFFLES ARE COMING!!

Rogue was brushing her teeth, when somebody knocked at the door. Grumbling, and frothing at the mouth because of the toothpaste, she opened the door, to see Remy, with a man in a red uniform holding on to the Cajun's collar. 

"Does this belong to you?" The uniformed man asked.

She took one look, glared, and then closed the door again.

Remy looked at the officer, and shrugged. "Y' might wan' t' try dat one over dere den." The officer looked at Remy, and dragged him over. Again, he knocked on the door, and this time, Logan opened the door.

"If you're here to give Gumbo back, you can keep 'im." Logan closed the door. The uniformed man again looked at Remy, who shrugged and pointed to another door.

"You're not very popular, eh?" Remy shrugged again. The door opened, to reveal Xavier.

"This kid under your charge?"

"'Ey! Remy not a kid!"

"Yes, he's been missing since the rest of my students returned earlier."

"We found 'im in the old house on the fairground, 'e was wanderin' 'round, lookin' pretty lost, kept askin' for people to came an' find 'im."

Xavier folded his hands, and looked at Remy, very seriously. "Have there been any charges?"

"What? For trespassin' in that old wreck? Nah, not worth it. Jus' keep him outta trouble and the RCMP won't have any reason to come after yeh." Xavier nodded, and the RCMP officer tipped his hat, and walked away.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Xavier asked Remy. 

"Remy got lost?"

"Who was that?" Wanda asked.

"The swamp-rat, and some kind of officer." Rogue replied, after spitting out the toothpaste. The Professor had given up on the assigned roommates, and had left his students to their own devices. Logan gave them two rules though, two per room, and your roommate had to be of the same gender. Of course, he hadn't said it quite so nicely, his version was more 'If I catch any of ya doing something ya shouldn't be…" SNIKT. Accompanied by a growl on Sabretooth's part.

So, in the end, Rogue and Wanda were the only ones who didn't have a roommate, and had to share. (AN: Would you really want to share a room with a homicidal Goth, or a sadistic Goth? You decide who's what.) Needless to say, while neither were very pleased with the arrangements, if you want to be left alone, it's best if the person who's in the room with you wants to be left alone as well.

Rahne knocked on the door to Sam's room. Jamie opened it cautiously. "Yes?"

"What's goin' on in thear lad?"

"I'm not a lad!"

"Whatcha want Rahne?"

"T' know what ye boys are doin' in thear!"

"Playing cards! Wanna join?"

"Shuddup Sam!"

"She doesn't have any furballs!"

"What do you guys mean yo? She's one giant furball!" Rahne pushed past Jamie, knocking the clone down, creating several more.

"I know ye've been hidin' tiny critters in them boxes, so what're ye doin' with them?"

"Betting." Came a voice from deep under the pile of boys. Rahne picked up one of the stray boxes, labeled 'Manny'. Opening it, there was a bloodcurdling screech.

Todd jumped across, landing in front of Rahne, snatching the box away. "Don't ever let Manny out! Ever! He doesn't like people yo! You know how long it took me to catch him?"

"Ye mean this little froggy gave ye a bit o' trouble now?" Rahne held the frog tightly, stroking it.

"You let him out!" Todd screeched again. Rahne's eyes widened. The door slammed open, to reveal a very angry Logan.

"What did I tell you kids about the rules?" SNIKT. There was a mad scramble to get out of the room Jamie was sharing with Sam. Rahne, Ray, Lance and Todd made like a banana and split. Lance continued to growl, while Jamie locked on to his new security blanket…whatever Sam was wearing.

"C'mon kid! Get offa me! Please? Ah'll help ya in poker…C'mon!" Sam tried to pry off the cloning kid, and failed miserably.

Logan closed the door, and began to investigate the other rooms. Finding everyone else in their appropriate rooms, minus those still at the beach, he returned to his game with Sabretooth. "Where were we…" He muttered.

"You just bought a new house. I went while you were gone. Spin." Logan spun the little spinner on the LIFE game board, while grumbling about the rule Xavier had made about no drinking for the night.

The next morning, the large group was not a group of happy campers, to say the least. The swimmers had been up until one, due to some difficulties Hank had getting the time out of Kurt. The students who had been playing cards had spent the night shaking, terrified that Sabretooth might come in after them, or Logan even, and Sam had had the added bonus of a frightened Jamie to deal with. Grand fun times for him. Those who hadn't been part of the card fiasco, had a roommate that had been involved, and had spent the night with them muttering 'He's coming…I can hear him in the hall…' Or similar variations. And Wanda and Rogue were just being…Wanda and Rogue. Kurt, however, eternally the morning person, was having a grand time wishing everyone a guten morgen, as he wolfed down the pancakes and eggs offered at the hotel's continental breakfast.

Following breakfast, and reloading the vans with duffels and other bags, the five vehicles set off, this time, with Ororo's van in the lead. Logan had done some rearranging, and now the three shoppers had been placed in a different van, and been traded for Rogue, Wanda, and Rahne. A nice quiet group. As long as Evan didn't start up, but under the pain of Danger Room sessions, the odds were in his favor. Of course, the van did look slightly odd with Rahne hanging her head out of one side, and Evan on the other.

Having taken the Confederation Bridge on the way to PEI, Xavier decided to take the ferry to Nova Scotia. It was a good idea. Was.

As soon as the vehicles were on the ferry, the mutants were allowed free range. Bobby, Kitty, and Jubilee promptly took advantage of this freedom, and become seasick. Kurt, began porting, and forgot to take into account the speed of the boat, and ended up thirty feet aft of where he meant to land, meaning he was ten feet aft of the stern of the boat. In the water.

"ELF OVERBOARD!" St. John shouted, rushing to the stern with a life preserver.

"Budge it Firehead, let someone with actual training handle this!" Lance stole the preserver, and using his excellent aim, whacked Kurt in the head.

"Ach! I thought you are supposed to save me! Not kill me!" Kurt shouted, and then ported back to the boat, landing on Rahne.

"Guten tag Frauline!" Rahne responded with a growl. True, she hadn't had a pleasant night, but having just spent three hours with her head hangin' out of a window, she was slightly more like herself, but still not in a good enough mood for Kurt to drop on her. And get away with it.

"Ah, not a morning person…I understand…Bye!" Kurt ported away again, placing himself inside one of the vans. He stayed there…not wanting to incur anyone else's wrath.

"Aaaaaahgh!" Ray cried, while scratching the long red welts.

"Didn't Beast say not to scratch?"

"No Bobby, he said to scratch until they bleed." Evan rolled his eyes.

"Well, Ah'm pretty sure he said tha' ya had to rub this gunk on them…every hour or somethin'…" Sam scanned the little tube of cream…searching for instructions…and maybe plotting to use it to lubricate his leg and remove Jamie.

"Gimme that then!" Ray snatched the cream away from Sam. Jellyfish stings can make the most cheerful person on the planet grumpy…and Ray is anything but. He grumbled to himself, whilst applying liberal amounts of the cream.

Lance, Todd, Remy, and the mysterious wind were lounging in the aft deck. Tabby approached them, with a huge sheaf of paper.

"Stop now, or Wanda is told everything!" She shouted. Pietro screeched to a stop.

"WhatdoyouwantBoom-Boom?Betterbeworthmehavingtostop!"

"Pietro!"

"Pietro?" Lance and Todd shouted at the same time…Lance angry, and Todd, confused. Pietro groaned and fell backwards onto the deck.

"Areyouhappynow?Whodoesn'tknowaboutme?"

"Well now, let's see…dere's your souer, an'…Remy doesn't know any others."

"Hmmph. Shows how much you know…but you got lost in the haunted house, didn't you?" Tabby poked Remy in the chest.

"What? Remy never gets lost. He always knows exactly where he is."

"Then how come the Red Dude came to drop you in Baldy's lap yo?" Remy smacked Toad.

"The Red Dude was so kind as to give Remy a lift back to de hotel."

"You keep believin' that Cajun Cutie, and it might come true. In the mean time Speedy, this is a collective list of favors, we, meaning anyone who knows you're here, can call upon you to perform at any time. And if you disagree, well, I'm sure Wanda will be happy to be allowed fifteen minutes alone with you." Tabby smirked. Pietro flipped through the pages at warp speed.

"Youcan'tbeserious!Holdon!Whoputthisonehere?"

"What one?"

"Favorthreeforty-two!Whoa!They'rejokin'right?" Tabby shook her head.

"I'm callin' in favor thirty-seven right now. In effect for the rest of the trip."

"What?!You'rekiddin'meright?Ican'tdothat!"

"Ooooohhh Waaaandaaa!" Tabby called out in a singsong voice.

"Nononononono! WaitImean! No! Stop! Pleease! I'm slowing! I'mslo-er, slowing!" Tabby gave Pietro a look of approval, nodding, and walked away to inform her fellow blackmailers that her task was complete.

"Stupidpyromaniacklepto." Pietro muttered to himself, only to have a small glowing ball roll between his feet.

It took a while, but the ferry did hit dry land…eventually. The convoy of vans and jeep rolled off, with Ororo once again in the lead. Her driving…was…frightening, even by Logan's standards. She was flying down the highway and blasting through small towns. Wanda, Rogue, Evan and Rahne had started to keep count of what Storm hit. They all had bets riding on the final outcome.

"Ninety-six, no, make that ninety-seven, ninety-eight mailboxes…there goes another." Rogue watched as number ninety-eight hit the back window.

CRUNCH

"There goes another lawn ornament. Mark it down, will ye?" Evan made another tick on the paper he'd dug out from somewhere.

"That's number two-fifty-six. Dude, I never knew Auntie O could drive like this!"

"Believe it. And there goes another rodent. I believe that's number forty-one." Wanda stated, feeling another bump in the road.

"Makes ya kinda glad yer not a rodent…" Logan returned to gripping the armrests, tightly.

The radio began to crackle, and Scott's voice came over the speaker. "Ororo, pull over at the next McDonald's or whatever, it's been a while since everyone ate."

"Must…destroy…" Logan grabbed the handset before Ororo could finish.

"We'll try, no guarantees though, I think we're gonna need a new driver here…" Logan turned to Wanda, and the gas tank just so 'happened' to run out of gas when they were passing the next station and fast food joint.

"Mmmm! KFC!" Bobby happily smiled to himself, as he, Roberto, Amara, Jean and Fred went to order the food. The group nearly filled the small restaurant. Which was nearly empty. The group approached the cashier.

"Welcome to Kentucky Duck, eh! May I take your orders?" She asked with a great big cheerful smile. Bobby's eyes widened, he checked the signs, and then ran outside, and ran back in.

"I thought this was Kentucky Fried Chicken?" The cashier blushed.

"It is, I just…forgot…" she mumbled. The five teens stared at her. Jean shook her head, and began to order.

"Um, we'd like…six sixteen piece meals, two salads, and…27 large sodas."

The cashier punched the appropriate buttons on her little till. "That'll be $170.52 please…" The cashier's eyes widened slightly, as Jean paid cash. Or tried to.

"Um, the brown ones are wroth fifty, no! Wait! They're worth a hundred! The green ones are fif-no, there's a little twenty here…oh, forget it! Here!" Jean thrust the large wad of bills towards the cashier, and her, being the honest Canadian that she is, counted out the appropriate amount of money, and gave Jean the remaining bills and change.

"Um, you'll have to wait a while, but here's your cups, the pop's just over there, free refills." Roberto took the stack, and attempted to balance it on his head. He made it past three steps, and they all fell down. Jean caught them, and sent them to the tables, where there was a mad rush to the dispenser. All but a few people were rushing into the mob to get something to drink. Logan, most of the Acolytes, Rogue, Wanda, and the Prof stayed sitting. Sorta. Two of the Acolytes stood up, and moved to another table, the table where Rogue and Wanda were sitting, arguing about the bets they had made.

"No! The bets are final, and the game ends when we reach wherever it is that we're headed!"

"So? I didn't know that there were that many suicidal rats in this country! Or how far we really had to go! I say we make another set!"

"Excuse moi, chere."

"And Sheila." The two Acolytes smirked, while Rogue and Wanda noticed for the first time that the two men had joined them. They put their cumulative glaring ability together, and knocked both men's socks off.

"We don't mean ya any harm knoaw, do we mate?"

"Of course non! Besides, Remy tinks dat dey be mor'n match for us." Wanda and Rogue both recognized what Remy was doing, but, it was still a compliment. It didn't soften them much.

"Order number twenty-one!" The cashier called out, like the joint was packed. The mob at the drink dispenser turned and headed for the till, each trying to grab some chicken and fries.

"Wait here chere, Remy get y' drink f' y'."

"Same here Sheila." With that, the two men stole the empty paper cups, and rushed to the machine.

"Y' realize that y' 'Sheila' is de boss's daughter."

"So? The boss ain't exactly here mate! S'not like he's bout to come rusin' in here t' steal my lighter! We keep our noses clean, and Baldy won't give us any troubles!" Remy shook his head, and returned to the table, where Kitty had stolen John's recently vacated seat. She had her salad, and had brought some fries and chicken back for the two Goths. Her phasing had allowed her to get in, and back out with little to no effort.

"Look's like y' outta seat dere John." Remy smirked, as Kurt ported into his empty seat.

"Looks like I'm not the only one mate!" John chuckled, handing Wanda her drink, just as Todd made it out of the mob.

What was that lackey of Magneto's doing near HIS cuddle-bumps? Something had to be done! With one giant leap, he sailed over the partition, over Wanda, Rogue, Kitty and Kurt, and landed on the pyromaniac. Todd began shouting very dire threats, except the only one who understood, was the omnipresent wind. Kurt fell off his chair with laughter, while Kitty blew her Pepsi (AN: I hate both Coke and Pepsi, but the X-Men are your average American kids, with special powers, yes, but they probably prefer Coke or Pepsi over Mountain Dew, or Sprite, or whatever. Anyway…) out of her nose. Rogue and Wanda merely stared. Rogue, with an amused look on her face, as if she didn't know whether to thank Toad, or laugh outright. Wanda, however, knew exactly what she wanted to do. And she did it. She threw both the Toad and the Pyro out of the nearest window, and calmly returned to her chicken, sans drink. 

After the mildly exciting lunch, the X-men and various other organizations piled back into their vehicles, with Logan taking the wheel for the lead car, resulting in a new betting pool among his passengers.

Hank, still had the 'local' music playing in his van. And despite themselves, the X-Men were beginning to actually enjoy it. They had memorized, and all but Ray were singing along with one song in particular. Kurt had turned the track on repeat, and face it, even one song over and over beats out 'This is the Song That Never Ends' any day. Even a multi-lingual version. The song started again, and the van began to sing.
    
    We were drinking down to Ready's house 
    
    When first we heard the blow
    
    It seemed to come from Ripper Rock
    
    So boldly forth to go
    
    And sure enough the rusty tub 
    
    Could just be barely seen 
    
    As her stern was high up in the air 
    
    We made out Athens Queen
    
    O, the lovely Athens Queen
    
    Me boys I must remind you 
    
    There's a bottle left inside
    
    So let us go and have a few 
    
    And wait until low tide
    
    And if the sea's not claimed her 
    
    When the glasses are licked clean
    
    We will then set forth some dories lads
    
    And see what may be seen
    
    On the lovely Athens Queen
    
    Some songs and old tall stories then 
    
    Came out to pass the time
    
    Nor could a single bottle 
    
    Keep us all until low tide
    
    And so it was before we left 
    
    The house we were at sea 
    
    So we scarcely can remember 
    
    How we made the Athens Queen
    
    O, the lovely Athens Queen
    
    O the waves inside me belly 
    
    Were as high as those outside
    
    And though I'm never seasick I 
    
    lost dinner overside
    
    T'was well there was no crew to save 
    
    For we'd have scared 'em green
    
    We could scarcely keep ourselves 
    
    From falling off the Athens Queen
    
    O, the lovely Athens Queen
    
    Well Reedy goes straight down below 
    
    And comes up with a cow
    
    Hello I said now what would you 
    
    Be wantin' with that now
    
    You'll never take the cow home 
    
    In a dory on such sea
    
    Well me friend he says I've always fancied 
    
    Fresh cream in me tea
    
    For the lovely Athens Queen
    
    I headed for the galley then 
    
    Cause I was rather dry
    
    And glad I was to get there quick 
    
    For what should  I spy
    
    O what a shame it would have been 
    
    For to lose it all at sea
    
    Forty cases of the best Napolean 
    
    Brandy ever seen
    
    On the lovely Athens Queen
    
    I loaded twenty cases boys  
    
    Then headed for the shore 
    
    Unloaded them as quick as that 
    
    And then pulled back for more
    
    Smith was pullin' for the shore 
    
    But he could scarce be seen
    
    Under near two hundred chickens 
    
    And a leather couch of green
    
    From the lovely Athens Queen
    
    So here's to all good salvagers 
    
    Likewise to Ripper Rock
    
    And to Napolean brandy of which 
    
    Now we have much stock
    
    We eat a lot of chicken 
    
    And sit on a couch of green 
    
    And we wait for Ripper Rock 
    
    To claim another Athens Queen
    
    O, the lovely Athens Queen
    
    With the end of the song, the van broke into gales of laughter, the idea of a green leather couch tickled them silly. 
    
    Beast sighed. At least they were learning something of culture.
    
    AN: I love these things. The KFC price is real, I think… mostly, I actually calculated it, but it might be in American. 
    
    What else, ah, I worked in a Stan Rogers song! Whoo! Heh, I love that thar couch. 
    
    Well, 'Wreck of the Athens Queen' belongs to his family, and what else… 
    
    I'd call the KFC, semi-fluff, and that's probably the most fluff you'll get from me. 
    
    Oh well, anyway… that's all I can think of… Except, this Einstein quote, which I love.
    
    There are two things that are infinite. The universe, and people's stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe.
    
    -Einstein
    
    There's lessee…nine pages? One of which is full of song? Heh, such a cheater I am.


	11. Entertaining Entertainers

AN: Mmmmm…Apple Pie…Hmmm…what is it with me and my updates? I was planning on updating sooner, but…school! Down with school! Anyway, now, to respond to reviewers! (I love doin' this!)

psychobunny410- They're buying a lot! The family packs are about sixteen bucks each, and I couldn't remember if those included drinks or whatever. But, hey, and I can't decide to make this Jonda, or Wandd. So, it may get interesting…:D

Red Witch- That was based on a conversation my cousins and I were having, heh, we were counting the number of small rodents that we hit on the way to Banff, but the numbers never got that high, expect similar games, because my cousins and I found…interesting…ways to occupy our time on long road trips.

Risty- There's absolutely nothing wrong with fluff! It's not me refusing to write it, it's more of a capability thing. And it is funny with Americans, they're money is practically identical, and they find coloured money confusing. I think it's all the colours, what about you?

Personage- Why hello, and you know what? Most of my friends agree with you, insanity can be fun though. Especially when you get free rides in padded vehicles, and a nice white padded room. And as for your insanity, it can help you, just let it control you, but make sure you don't injure anyone!

ringSfan- awww, poor you, here, you can win…this handful of dryer lint! Wow, what a crappy prize, nah, I'll give you hmm…*looks around desk* this…stapler! Hmm…I don't have anything good to give away…as for Remy, I'll recommend you. I agree with the LIFE game, heh, you can't play that game WITHOUT making friends with your opponent.

Jassie- Danke! Rahne is a giant furball, although I doubt she likes being called one. As for Pietro, I have plans for him…(Damn! They need an evil grin smiley!) Jubby? Yes, I'm planning on hooking several more mutants up (X-Men, B-Hood, Acolytes and Adults all cower in fear) but since you asked for it, I will add some Jubby, when, I don't know, but will do!

mikey- I'm gonna file your rant away…it'll come back to haunt you.

princess-freak- Kentucky Duck is what all mein relatives call it…they're strange…and yes, Remy is back! They'll be hittin' Quebec after Newfoundland…but there are some…plans…I have for them there first…MUAH HA HA HA! *ahem* yes, in other news…I live in Alberta…SUPPORT ALBERTA BEEF!! 

Shawsahnk- See above. I love beef, such a carnivore I am…yes indeed, anyway, the chickens are an integral part of the song…and I just noticed something…if anybody else can guess what I noticed…they get…this cookie! Actually, here's a hint, it has to do with that last chapter, and only that chapter.

There we go. Reviews responded to. Let's continue on, shall we?

DISCLAIMER: I think I swallowed some of my toothpick…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well?" Wanda put her hands on her hips.

"I'm working on it! But I don't think I can count that high!" Evan struggled with the pile of papers and napkins.

"Give it here lad, I can count 'em fast enough!"

"Good luck dude!" Evan handed the large stack to Rahne, who walked away with them.

"Pieboy! I'm a-callin' in clause number three right now!" Pietro screeched to a stop.

"Whaddyawa-Imean, whaddya want?"

"I want ye to tally these up, I want the totals fast." Rahne smirked as she handed all the napkins and papers off to Pietro.

"What? You'rekid- You're kidding me! Even I can't count all this in less than an hour!"

"Logan managed to hit it all in under six…" Pietro's eyes bugged out. "And ye better get started, Wanda, Rogue, Evan and I all have bets ridin' on the outcome." Pietro moaned, and started running again.

"Was that Pietro Maximoff?" Rahne turned to spot Hank sitting in the van behind her.

"Ummm…would ye believe me iffen I said nay?" Hank just looked at Rahne. "Nay then, bye!" Rahne rushed off.

"Attention please!" The Professor was sitting in one of the vans, waving his arms, in an attempt to get everybody's attention.

When everybody's head was turned in the Prof's general direction, he began to speak, again.

"Now, I know it is rather late, so we will be here tonight, as well as all of tomorrow. Again, the same rules are in effect, and Tabitha, Jubilation, I sincerely hope that you will stay away from the shopping centers. There was a report of two being nearly leveled by an explosion shortly after we left our last location." Tabby and Jubilee opened their mouths to argue, only to be cut off by Hank.

"And most importantly! Have fun!" The mutants all smiled at each other. This was obviously a real city.

Pietro rushed over to Rahne, dropping a single paper with three huge figures on them.

"Happy now? It's all counted up! And I'm outta here!" Pietro raced off, unseen by all.

"Aye! Evan! Rogue! Wanda! I got the figuares for ye all. Who has the wagers naow?" The group walked over. Evan fishing a paper out of his numerous pockets.

"Um…Lessee now…I was bettin' on 375 rodents squished, 1200 lawn ornaments cracked, and 460 mailboxes. Rahne, 895, 540, and 900. Rogue, 360, 750, 420. Wanda was bettin' 4500, 8900,  an' 100, 000? Whoa! High 'nuff there!"

"Wanda wins on the rodents, and ye win the lawns…and I win the postboxes. Sorry Rogue, ye just weren't that lucky on the bettin'!"

"Hey! You guys comin' or not? We've conned Pyro and Gambit to help us find a bar."

"Whooo! We're so in!" Evan rushed off after Bobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~we now wander a bit~~~~~~~~~~

"Let me out of here! I deserve more respect than this!"

"This coming from a man who wears a bucket on his head?" Mystique sat and idly watched as Magneto used all of his strength in an attempt to break the window. "You're laughable Eric."

"Silence lackey!"

"I'm not your lackey! Especially not after you abandoned me over that weather witch!"

"Survival of the fittest. She was fitter than you!"

"Oh, and I suppose you are fitter as well?"

"Yes, I'm so fit that I gained automatic entry."

"Let's see just how fit you really are!" Mystique stood up rapidly, brandishing her fists. "You're still stuck in jail as I recall!"

"As you are too!"

"Not any more…" Mystique pointed to the dice now laying face up on the board. "Double threes. I get out." She picked her little dog up, and moved him six spaces, landing on St. James Place. "I buy." Magneto grumbled, and then rolled the dice. 

"Five. Dammit."

"That means you have to pay." Mystique grinned slyly.

"I know, I know. I hate this game."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~And we wander away again~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Like, what are these people doing?" Kitty tilted her head as she watched the man balance the chair on it's single leg, and then ascended the tower of precariously placed furniture. The large group were standing on the dock, watching the acts.

"Who cares? It's free entertainment!" Kurt watched, inwardly laughing at the man's act. 

"They're buskers. Apparently there's some sort of festival going on right now…"

"Where does she get those guides?" Ray whispered to Sam, gesturing toward Tour Guide Barbi-erp, I mean Jean.

"An' buksers would be…?"

"Buskers, Sheila, and they're street performers! See 'em doin' fancy tricks all the time!"

"Don't call me Sheila." Rogue glared.

"Hey! Do they get paid for this?" Bobby asked, as he watched the people tossing coins into a hat just in front of the balancer.

"Only what people are willin' ta give ta dem."

"Let's be buksers!" Jamie ran off, tripping and creating three clones. The other mutants followed. They had ideas aplenty.

Somewhere off in the distance, a very loud rendition of the Entertainer could be heard.

(AN: Following scenes meant to be corny in so many ways it's almost funny. And think Entertainer all the way through, if the above line wasn't a big enough hint! ^_^)

People approached the metal monolith, someone tossed a coin into the hat that was in front of the statue, and the statue bowed. People tossed more money in, and after two seconds of movement, the statue would freeze. It all went swimmingly, until someone tried to shake the statues hand. The statue froze mid-shake, and would not release the hand. The stranger tugged and pulled, and yanked, and finally tossed in a bill. The statue awoke, and bowed, releasing the stranger.

Jean sat off to the side, balancing the objects in impossible positions, while Ray and Sam stood on top, testing just how far the could lean and still have Jean catch them. People clapped every-time they leaned nearly horizontal, and then seemingly righted themselves, without any apparent assistance.

Two men set up shop near the very edge of the docks. One toyed with a deck of cards, asking people to pick one. The other was busy setting up statues. Very nice statues, very nice ice carving statues. People soon were lined up to buy them, and watch a magic show.

Kurt, Kitty, Jamie, Rahne, Amara, Rogue, Evan, Scott and Wanda picked out another section of dock. Using a old and giant blanket from somewhere, they began to create 'magic'. Scott gathered a crowd to come and see the amazing 'Scarlet Witch'. Wanda would throw the blanket over Kurt, who'd bamf away, or Rogue, who'd then be phased away, with Kitty taking her spot. Jamie would knock himself against the wooden slats a few times, and Rahne would become a incarnation of a werewolf. Amara would charge herself up, and Evan joined Scott in crowd control.

In two areas, near each other, there was a strongman act, and a pyrotechnics show. A boy became an unholy demon, and lifted another…larger…teen up. Fred and Roberto were a huge success. Lance and Todd acted as more diverters from the real Buskers, bringing the crowds over to the two strong men, and the three pyros. There were fireworks, minor explosions, and large fiery figures. Until John set fire to the dock.

(AN: And end theme. Heh, if I forgot any mutants, I apologize, because I am an idiot and can't remember everyone off the top of mein head.)

"So, how much money did we get?" Ray looked at the pile of bills and coins.

"Don't ask me man! I can't figger this money out! But I think that that bill's a five."

"No Evan, really, what gave it away? The giant five in the corner?" Rogue crossed her arms and shook her head.

"What's yer problem?" The group looked up and saw Logan and Sabretooth standing over them.

"Umm, excuse me Herr Logan, but do you know how to count this money?"

"Yeah, but I'll only do it if ya tell me were ya got it all from. Logan could see at least three dozen fivers, and even a score of tens.

"Umm…We earned it…" Amara said, slightly intimidated.

"Fair 'nuff. You've got nearly three hundred bucks Canadian." Logan and Sabretooth turned and left.

"Dat was faster'n Pieboy."

"My brother? Where is he?!?" Wanda growled. Remy held his hands up in an apologetic gesture.

"Desole! He's not here! I swear!" Wanda said nothing else.

"I say we take this money and have a good time yo!" There were sounds of agreement and much nodding of heads. Tabby, the only one to bring a bag, dumped all the money into it. The large group began to wander away from the dock.

"Cows? What kinda name is that for a shop?" Amara asked out-loud.

"Hey! Maybe they sell moo-juice!"

"Yes Evan, I'm like so sure that a place called 'Cows' is gonna sell you milk." Everyone looked at Kitty.

"Umm…well, it would make sense…" Kitty flushed red at Scott's words. Evan grinned, and ran inside. He returned a few moments later wearing a giant t-shirt with a cow on the front. Dressed like Keanu Reeves and binary in the background. With the words 'The Mootrix' written underneath. He also had a very large waffle ice cream cone in his hands.

"They sell frozen moo-juice." Evan was nearly knocked down by the stampede to get in the store, for the food, and for the t-shirts.

(AN: I love the Cows T-shirts! I have lots! They rule!)

Each mutant now had a giant waffle ice cream cone, and a Cows t-shirt on. The females of the group had even bought one for Logan. It had a cow on it (obviously) with the words 'I am Cownadian!' While the cow said moooo-eh! Bobby hopped from one foot to the other.

"Can we go find a bar now? Please? I wanna try some Canadian beer!"

"Hold on, who said anything about a bar?" Scott was ignored.

"Jus' follow Gambit! He'll show ya 'round!"

"Yes, we'll all folla ya into the nearest karaoke bar around! Makes great sense ta me mate!"

"'ey! It wa' Piotr who led us ta de karaoke place! Not me!"

"Please do not blame me." The three Acolytes continued to squabble and fight, while their younger companions wandered away.

"There's a place!" Roberto pointed out. Bobby led the charge inside. Hopping onto a bar stool, he leaned on the counter.

"What d'ye be wantin' now eh?"

"Give me something good and Canadian!" Bobby said loudly. The bartender shrugged, and pulled out a bottle of Molson Canadian. Sliding it across the counter, Bobby paid him, and ran off. It didn't take long for the bar to be mobbed, all by young teens.

"Hold yer horses now! Some of yeh seem jus' a liddle young t'be drinkin'! I wanna see some ID for yous, eh?" The bartender pointed at Jean and Scott. They watched as all the younger mutants collected their drinks, and began to fish their IDs out of their pockets.

"It is okay for them to drink. I vill vouch for them." The bartender looked up, at the very…large, form of Piotr.

"Now how do I know I won't be getting' in trouble if they turn out to be minors eh?"

"Then you give me their drinks and I will supply them, da?" As if to emphasize his point, Piotr leaned on the counter, showing off his very well developed muscles. The bartender gave him an odd look, then pulled out three drinks.

"These what yeh wanted?" He asked dourly. They nodded, and the bartender gave the drinks to Piotr, who in turn gave them to Scott and Jean.

"Ummm…how did that happen?" Scott asked.

"Well, Shades, I always tought dat y' were a tad young lookin'." Remy smiled from where he was shuffling cards. Lance, Toad, Bobby, Sam and Jamie were sitting with him, waiting to be dealt in. Rahne, Kurt, Tabitha and Rogue had set up a game of pool, the rules of which only they knew. The remaining mutants had discovered several dartboards.

"Watch where you throw that dude! You nearly spiked me!" Evan stood up slowly, glancing at the dart that had skimmed his back. Ray shrugged.

"It's your turn Evan." Evan stepped over to the line, with a slight grin, and pointed his finger at the dartboard, scoring three direct bullseyes.

"No fair! You have to, like, use the darts Evan!" Evan stuck his tongue out at Kitty, and pulled the three darts from the board. He threw them. One went through Kitty, the other into the ceiling of the bar, and the third hit the bullseye. Evan ran around the bar, celebrating.

"Did you do that?" Fred whispered. Wanda nodded. "Why?"

"Cuz I wanted to see him win something." Wanda glared at Fred, who backed off.

The evening continued on, in a similar manner, until Jean got tired of seeing Evan win at darts. She shoved Scott over to the line. He scored two twenties and a bullseye. By that time, most of the teens were too drunk to walk straight, much less shoot a pool ball, or dart straight.

"You challenging me?" Evan asked, poking Scott.

"Maybe." Evan turned, and threw three darts, landing two bullseyes and a twenty. He smirked at Scott, who approached the line, and threw two of his darts. They both landed bullseyes. He threw his third dart, and it was hit out of the air by a wayward cue ball.

"Sorry lad! I dinnae mean to do that!" Rahne called out from the pool table. 

"Don't worry Wolfie, it's only a dart. Would one of you like to pass us our ball?" Tabby called across the bar. Jubilee picked it up, and walked over to the pool table.

"Hey! Can I play? How do you play?" The three players turned to Kurt and Rogue.

"Vell, you try to get the balls into the pockets…"

"But ya have to get them in order, the two 'fore the three, and the eight 'fore the twelve…"

"Isn't the eight ball the last to go in?"

"No, it's gotta go in 'fore the nine…"

"Nien, I'm sure that it's the last…See! The nine ball is in this pocket, but the eight's still on the table!"

"Oh, right, ya, well, and you go, and if you sink a ball, you go again, and if you don't then you wait 'till your turn again…"

"But if you sink the cue ball, then the person going after you goes…and they get to put whatever ball they vant into a pocket…"

"No! Now you're screwin' up! They get to put the white ball wherever they want!"

"Yeah, yeah, and then there's this blue stuff, you rub your cue vith it, or forfeit your turn."

"Umm, Kurt, that's your fur…"

"Oh! Oops, vell, vhere's the stuff ve're supposed to rub on then?"

"Um…Rahne had it last…"

"Rahne! Vhere are you Rahne? I need the blue stuff!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes, mein schweister, I do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!" Kurt and Rogue were left arguing, while Rahne joined Remy the card shark and his 'victims'. Tabby and Jubilee left to watch the Canadian guys.

"What are ye all playin'?"

"Poker." Jamie said, never lifting his eyes.

"Who be a-winnin'?"

"The midget yo!" Todd looked at Rahne, a very grumpy look on his face. "If he wins one more time, I'm gonna have to start givin' him my shirt yo!" Rahne made a face, and immediately walked into Sam, who was just getting up to leave.

"Uh, sorry, but Jamie's cleaned me out, an' Ah know when to leave."

"Actually, so does Remy. And I tink dat we best be headin' back t' de place we're stayin'…" Remy looked about the bar. John was currently trying to set fire to his drink, saying he wanted a 'Molotov cocktail', Piotr was trying to gather the darts and pool cues so no one would be injured, and the rest were trying to figure out why they all had cows on their shirts.

"Da, please help me…" Piotr ducked as Kurt swung his pool cue at him. Piotr had tried to take it away from the elf, and the results had been a minute of Kurt porting around the room randomly. Now Kurt was trying to hit Piotr over the head with said cue. And while Kurt was not a drunk as some others, his aim was severely impaired.

"Well, 'ow d' y' suggest gettin' dem all back now?" Remy asked. Piotr turned, and Kurt landed a direct hit to Colossus's skull. The giant fell over, out cold. "'m doomed…" Remy said, as John finally lit his 'Molotov Cocktail'.

"Wow! Look mate! I nev'r woulda guessed it flame like that!" John watched the fire, absolutely entranced.

"Think we should help him?"

"Nah, I'm tired of havin' to baby-sit. Order another round." Logan leaned back, and watched as Sabretooth munched the little bar peanuts.

Remy was doing his very best to pull John off the bartender. Several other patrons watched, giving occasional shouts of encouragement to the barkeep.

"That's it! Give 'im a right! He can't take for much longer eh!"

"Kick 'im! 'E ain't fightin' fair, why should yeh?"

"C'mon Pyro! Let de homme be! Gambit'll make sure y' get y' lighter once we get back to de hotel! C'mon!" Remy tugged harder, and flew backwards as St. John's belt finally gave under all the stress.

"Whoo! There's a sight yeh don' see every day eh?"

"Damn good yeh don't!"

Remy looked up, and saw John's boxers, which were covered with little pens, pencils, textbooks, and other school supplies.

"Wha'?" John twisted, and saw Remy holding his pants. Turning as red as his hair, John leaped off the bartender, and charged Remy.

"Eeep!" Remy leaped up, and rushed into one of the two vans. It was crammed full of drunk and semi-conscious teens. Turning the key, the engine roared to life, and Remy slammed the pedal, zooming away.

John followed, and spying the other van, also full of drunk and semi-conscious teens, he hopped in, and zoomed off after Remy.

The two vans were not far from the hotel when Remy was stopped, for speeding.

"'Lo, may I see your license?" The man asked, looking down at his clipboard. Remy passed him a plastic card. "Well, Mr. Summers, would you care to explain to me why yeh were goin' nearly ninety klicks on this sixty road?"

"Umm, well, y' see, m' friend back there is tryin'  t' kill me, cuz I pulled his pants off in a bar."

"Right…Would you please step out of the vehicle?" Remy climbed out, and spotted another officer in red doing the same to John. "Could you please recite the alphabet backwards?" The officer asked.

"Oui. A-B, non, wait, Z-Y-X-W-ummm…V-U-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-N-O-P-Q, non, I can get this! Umm…"

"Yes, well, can you walk from here, to here, one foot in front of the other, in a straight line?"

"Oui!" Remy proceeded to walk, rather crookedly, frightened of all the looks John kept sending him.

"Sir, please come with me." Remy followed the officer, who lead him into a van, where there was a small apparatus. "Please blow here." Remy blew on the plastic piece, and there was a little beep. The officer looked at it. "Alright, you can go, but don't drink anything more if you plan on driving after. Here's your license." The officer lead Remy back to the van.

"Tanks officer!"

"By the way, how many kids do yeh have in there eh?"

"Ummm…" Remy looked back, and tried to count. "Mor'n two, but less 'n twenty." Remy closed the door and drove off, breathing a sigh of relief.

Until he saw John in the rearview mirror, also getting back into the van.

"Eeep!"

AN: There we go! I was busy this weekend, between Operation: Rebirth on YTV Saturday, and a movie on Sunday…that's why this wasn't up earlier…guess what movie!! Well, I'll give you a hint, it has more cameos than…something with a lot of cameos…hmmm…well, ja. Plus I have a butt-load of school crap, don't get home till six, gotta get up at six, gotta go to sleep by ten…crap, school sucks. Anyway, at the rate I'm going, this is gonna be thirty chaps long, so if you can stand it, hang around, I might get another update out this weekend. I have special plans for Newfoundland…*evil grin* If anyone can guess, they'll get a cookie!


	12. Sailin' on the Good Ship Sumthin' or oth...

AN: I'm on a roll, posted less than a week ago, and again today! Woo! Ja, heh, don't expect this all the time, as I'm beginning to get homework…erk. Well, it's 1 in the morning, and I'm ready to type, so away I go!! First, shout-outs!

Risty- heh, I agree, our funny money is a good thing! I mean, you never mistake a fifty for a five, or even a one! Well, our ones are coins, so that eases up on that, but we even have a two dollar coin! Go toonies!! Mystique definitely kicked his ass, although I won't go into that, as for Newfoundland, you'll have to wait 'till next chapter! Someone thought New Zealand was by Newfoundland? O_o! They're on opposite sides of the globe!! Good luck with your American sister! ^_^

psychobunny410- I'm glad you liked the Monopoly! Sabes and Logan are friends, because I made them. It was a very long time, and lots of rehabilitation, but it's all paid off. Whether they're gonna stay that way…As for school, I don't have study hall…I don't have any free classes…:'(

Chrissie- You went skiing here? Alberta, or B. C.? Well, there must be some hills in Australia…I wanna learn how to snowboard…Cows is awesome! Ja, anyway!

D-Ark of Spirit- Hey! Hiya! I don't see you over here very often! But then, I don't update very often. _ Ah well, I'm glad you liked the buskers, all of the acts were taken from actual acts I've seen, sans powers. Those dudes are amazing…As for the moo-vie, you're close, but wrong…Nice try though!

Jassie- That was a long update? Well, I guess so, since there wasn't much songfic in it! I wish I had powers too, and if I did, I'd become a busker and cheat like hell! Road test? I've probably seen the commercial, just can't remember it. And ya! They showed HeX Factor!! Wooo!

Taineyah- Hello again! They'll get to Summerfolk, just have to wait a few chapters, cuz that's the way I'm writing it!

Appin Took- Yeah, they'll get to Montreal, what they'll do there…I have some plans, but suggestions are always good!

Panther Nesmith- 'Ello again!! Heh, I might have to squish some RABID cameos into the story now…hmmm…ja. Soccer? Mein indoor season will be starting soon, and I know the feeling. Anyway, three accounts? I only have one…I know of two, hmm…will have to hunt down third…

There's all mien shout-outs done. This chapter is mostly filler, with another attempt at fluff. What's left? Ah yes…

DISCLAIMER: Boredom often precedes a very large mess…

"Rise and shine! Time to get up! Up and at 'em!" Hank walked from door to door, pounding on each one.

"Go 'way!"

"Lemme sleep!"

"Jus' one more minute mom!"

"I don' wanna go to school today!" Were samples of the responses. One stood out in particular.

"Ahh! Like! Get away you furball!!" Hank opened the door, to discover Kurt, holding his head, and Kitty on the other side of the room, half-phased through the closet door.

"Am I interrupting something?" He asked, looking from one mutant to the other.

"Ah!! Herr McCoy!! Do you have any aspirin?" Kurt asked, with very large puppy-dog eyes.

"Get outta mah room Swamp-Rat!" Hank turned away from Kurt, trying to decide which of the two doors Rogue was behind. Taking a wild guess, he opened one, finding Rahne curled up dog-like, with Jamie using her as a pillow.

"Umm…Jamie? Rahne? You might want to wake up…" Hank closed the door, and opened choice number two. Rogue was standing on her bed, brandishing her pillow like it was a deadly weapon. Remy was cowering behind one of the chairs.

"'Onestly chere! Gambit didn't mean nuthin'! Swear! We just put people into rooms! We weren't payin' attention to who was where! Swear!"

"Rogue, let go of the pillow, and let Remy leave, you aren't the only one unsatisfied with your current roommate. Kurt and Kitty had a disagreement as well." There was the sound of several large objects crashing into something. "And it sounds like there is another unhappy pair…" Hank sighed, and returned to playing 'pick a door'. Using his ears, he opened one, and saw Jean and Scott, in what appeared to be a very comfortable position. Knowing what sort of trouble they'd be in, if Wolverine decided to check the rooms, Hank entered, poked and prodded the pair until they woke up.

"Hello Mr. McCoy, what are you doing here?" Jean asked sleepily.

"Waking you two up before Logan decides to." Hank grinned, and winced as another large object crashed into something, accompanied by much yelling. Leaving Scott and Jean, Beast opened another door, and ducked to avoid being hit with a chair.

By the time everyone was up, fed, medicated, and ready to go, it was nearly noon. Everyone was complaining about the lack of aspirin, or similar, except a select and lucky few.

"Ahem!" Xavier once again tried to get everyone's attention. He was ignored, and Hank solved the problem by sticking two large fingers into his mouth, and whistling. Everyone covered their ears, and gave their undivided attention to the Professor.

"It has come to my attention that many of you were out drinking last night, despite my wishes against it. For that, you will be punished. Today, instead of being allowed to have free reign of the city, you will come with Hank and myself, and explore the Halifax Maritime Museum." There were two dozen groans. "And further, Scott, John, you will not be driving, as I received a call late last night that you two were driving under the influence of alcohol, and speeding." Scott stared wide-eyed at the Professor.

"But I didn't drive last night!" He protested, and was ignored.

"You will now follow us." Xavier led the way into the parking lot.

"This is so boring…" Jubilee flicked at an imaginary speck of dust on the placard in front of the display.

"Woo.  Ships, ships, and for a change, more ships!" Amara stared hard at the little information sign.

"Hey! Jubes! 'Mara! Did you know this whole town was blown sky high a hundred years ago?" Tabby asked, flying around a corner and skidding to a stop.

"Uhhh…no?"

"It did! They have a movie presentation on it over there!" Tabby gestured toward the general area she had come from. Jubilee and Amara looked at each other, and ran around the corner. Tabby smirked, and continued rushing around, trying to find the other mutants.

"Wow! That had to be one hell of an explosion!"

"It was the biggest non-nuclear man-made explosion up until a few years ago."

"Did you guys see the deck chair from the Titanic?"

"Yeah, just before Pyro sent it up in flames." Wanda glared at John, who shrugged.

"I jus' thought it was an ordinary chair Sheilah! How was I t' know it had histor'cal 'portance?"

"The glass wall surrounding it is usually a good indicator." Kitty said dryly.

"There was s'posed t'be a glass wall?" John looked confused.

"The Swamp-Rat here blew it, 'cuz he wanted a place to sit." Rogue gestured toward Remy, who put on his best 'who-me?' innocent face.

"We try to give you guys a taste of culture, and you blow it up! Why do we even try?" Hank shook his head.

"Because you hope we'll learn from past bad experiences, and restrain ourselves?" Jamie asked, forgetting he had broken all previous records when he had hit his head, created twenty extra clones, and caused Kitty to phase out of the Bluenose II, and into the harbour.

"Right, that's the reason." Hank nodded, and continued on.

"You'd think he'd learn!" Ray whispered to Roberto, who nodded.

(AN: Like a lot of things I write about, I don't know if it's possible or how long it would take to go direct from Nova Scotia to Newfoundland, so ja, if you don't like it, ummm…deal.)

"Not another boat!" Kitty moaned.

"Yes, we are taking another ferry to our next destination. It will be an overnight trip, so I suggest you find some motion sickness pills Kitty." Bobby groaned with Kitty this time.

When all five vehicles were rolled into the hold of the ferry, the adults, Xavier, Logan, Sabretooth, Ororo, and Hank, all disappeared, deciding that if they didn't see anything happen, nothing did. Well…if you ask them, nothing happened.

The students, seeing they were alone, sans chaperones, decided that this was going to be fun. Bobby, Jubilee, and Kitty were immediately struck with the seasickness, and were pushed in the direction of the bunks. The rest, decided to spend their chaperoneless night doing everything they would have gotten in trouble for otherwise. (AN: Minds are not meant to be placed in the gutter, unless I give specific directions to stick 'em there! Or is insinuated. 8D)

Kurt bamfed into the galley, remembering to account for the boat's forward motion. Grabbing several items that completed the list, he bamfed out again, returning to his group.

"Ya get it all?" Sam asked eagerly.

"Ja, look!" Kurt spread his arms.

"Enough foodstuffs guys. What are you gonna do? Have a party?"

"A par-TAY." Tabitha corrected Amara.

"We jacked the main room, apparently some people like to get married on ferries. ARRGHH!! Stupid jellyfish stings!!" Ray scratched and rushed off, looking for more lotion to soothe his burning skin.

"Poor Ray. I'd pity him, but it's much more fun to watch him go crazy." Evan watched Ray disappear around the corner.

"Really? I thought ye liked hidin' his cream." Evan shrugged at Rahne's words.

"Well, what do you think it is that drives him insane?"

"Music, food, giant area with little to no breakables…This is gonna be a great party!!" Lance said, going over the checklist.

"Aren't y' f'getting' one vital piece homme?" Remy asked.

"No, we got it all…"

"DJ.

"Tanks for volunteering Shades!" Remy pumped Scott's hand up and down, very rapidly.

"What? No! I'm not gonna sit behind the stereo all night!"

"He is right."

"Petey's got a point! It'd be no fair to his Sheila mate!"

"Well, who wants to be DJ den?" Remy scanned the group of mutants, his eyes landing on a single person.

"I do! I do!" Roberto hopped up and down, repeatedly, knocking Jamie down, creating a half dozen more.

"Hmmm…I tink dat Freddy wants t' be DJ."

"Huh?" Fred tore his gaze from the food, and looked at Remy. "No I don't!"

"I'll trade you!" Roberto jumped around, trying to get Fred's attention. "Pick me! Me!"

"Dat boy needs t' get a girl…" Remy watched as Roberto did an impressive display of acrobatics.

"He had one, but left her in Charlottetown…" Kurt whispered to Remy.

In the cabins, the three seasick-prone mutants were trying various cures for seasickness.

"You're supposed to balance the lemon on your nose for three minutes!"

"Eurgh!" Kitty dropped the fruit, and rushed into the bathroom. Emerging a few moments later, she held her stomach. "I'm just gonna, like, lie down. You guys can try and find a cure that works, but these cures are just, like, making me sicker…" Bobby and Jubilee watched as Kitty tried to phase through the door, but missed and ended up halfway through the floor. Pulling herself up, Kitty continued on her way.

"I think Kitty's got the best idea…" Jubilee put down the weights she had been holding over her head. "These cures aren't working…"

Bobby put down the sheet of paper he'd been reading from, and sat down beside Jubilee. "Reading them is making me sick."

"Maybe if we can find something to take our minds off the seasickness…" Jubilee trailed off. Bobby poked her. Jubilee poked him back. Bobby poked her twice. Jubilee poked him three times. They continued poking each other, again, and again, and again. Eventually, Bobby stopped poking, and started tickling. Jubilee began to shriek with laughter. Bobby stopped tickling long enough for Jubilee to catch her breath. When he tried to start again, she got to him first. The two of them forgot their seasickness, and just kept tickling each other.

The party was in full swing now. Roberto was having the time of his life, with the collection of CDs the ferry had, plus some others the mutants had brought with them, they had more music than a music store. The main room was large, empty, and had a stage slash altar up at the front. Removing the little stand the priest would lean on, it became empty space.

Kurt had an idea, grabbing Evan, he rushed up to Roberto.

"Do you do requests?"

"Yeah! What's the point of a DJ otherwise?" Kurt whispered something into Roberto's ear.

"Vill you do it?" Roberto nodded.

"As long as you only pretend."

"C'mon!" Kurt grabbed Evan, and ported away. The pair returned just as Roberto found the specified disc. Climbing up onto the stage, the two turned around, and waited for the music to start.

"Ready?"

"Ja." The music blared. Kurt turned around. He was wearing a black jacket, and sunglasses.

Oh on the day I was born, The nurses all gathered round.

And they gazed in wild wonder, At the joy they had found.

The head nurse spoke up, Leave this one alone!

She could tell right away, That I was bad to the bone!

Evan spun at the beginning of the chorus, and some spikes grew on his arms.

"Hey! Those are my glasses!" Scott cried out. The pair continued to dance wildly, and bowed at the end. Jumping off the stage, Roberto put in another CD and the group began to dance again. John watched, and in a sudden flash of inspiration, dragged his fellow pyromaniac and Amara together. Having a rushed conversation, Amara went up to Roberto. Whispering in his ear, he nodded.

"As long as you only lip-synch. This isn't karaoke!" Amara nodded, and returned to Tabitha and John. The trio waited by the side of the stage for the current song to end. When Roberto switched CDs again, the three climbed up onto stage. Amara powered up, while Tabby created a pile of small boomers.

Gimme fuel gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire!

With the first few words, Pyro took the flames from Amara and sent them out over the other mutants. Tabby threw the boomers, and Amara, she threw fireballs at the boomers, causing them to explode midair. Every time the chorus began again, Pyro would create another explosion of fire. By the time they took their bows, Jamie and Todd had talked with Roberto, and were ready to get up. Roberto put in yet another disc.

I woke up it was seven, Waited till eleven,

 Just to figure out that no one would call…

I think I got a lotta friends, But I don't hear from them…

What's another night alone?

When you're spending every day on your own!

And here it goes!

I'm just a kid! And life is a nightmare!

As the two youngest members, the song applied, and Jamie and Todd hopped, and ran about the stage, pointing fingers. Remy shook his head, and waited for them to finish. When they climbed off the stage, he grabbed them, telling them the same thing he had told all the other male mutants. He wanted them all up on stage. Smiling happily, he told Roberto what song to put on.

"Okay…but why that song? I thought you wanted to impress Rogue?" Remy only smiled in response. Roberto shrugged, and began to hunt for the disc. The guys climbed up, leaving only the girls. And Remy, standing by the side of the stage. The guys were curious as to what song it was Remy wanted them to perform to. A strange beat came out of the speakers.

Hot sun, Beating down,

Burning my feet, just walking around.

Hot sun, making me sweat,

Gators getting' close, hasn't got me yet!

I can't dance! I can't talk!

Only thing about me is the way I walk!

I can't dance, I can't sing,

I'm just standing here sellin' everything!

When it became apparent what the chorus was to the song, every guy on the stage jumped off, even big Freddy, and proceeded to try and kill Remy.

"Eeep!"

"That's boy's gotta death wish." Rogue and the other girls watched as Remy attempted to outrun the entire male population.

"Especially if he continues t' hit on ye lass." Rogue looked at Rahne, who made a small squeaky noise, before transforming and dashing off. Before Rogue could give chase, Wanda grabbed hold and dragged her to the stage. Roberto nodded, and pulled out a CD he'd been saving.

I don't give a damn about my reputation!

Livin' the past it's a new generation!

Gonna do what you want to do, and that's what I'm gonna do!

Rogue looked at Wanda, and smiled, an evil smile. Absorbing Wanda slightly, the two began to create havoc, when Kurt tried to port in front of Remy, he ended up behind Roberto, and when Ray tried to electrocute Remy, he instead shorted out the main lights. Just general chaos. The chase for Remy's head on a stick ceased, and the boys instead turned and began a stampede for a hiding place. When the song ended, they all poked their heads out of hiding places, and watched Wanda and Rogue get off the stage. 

Lance gestured for the other Brotherhood boys to get up. They followed warily, unsure whether to trust their leader, or not. After Remy's stunt, they had half a mind to just leave Lance up there by himself. So they did. Lance sighed, and got off the stage.

"Spoilsports." he muttered as he passed them. Instead, a large number of mutants were in a huddle. Nodding, they broke the huddle. Kurt ported, and told Roberto the song, while Jean levitated Rogue up onto the stage. Piotr lifted Remy and threw him onto the stage. Roberto started the song.

Some people call me the space cowboy,

Some call me the gangster of love,

Some people call me Maurice!

Cuz I speak of the promptness of love

Everyone looked at Kurt, until the song hit the refrain.

Cuz I'm a thinker,

I'm a grinner!

I'm a lover, and I'm a sinner.

Play my music in the sun!

I'm a joker!

I'm a smoker!

I'm a midnight toper,

I get my lovin' on the run!

Rogue turned bright red, from embarrassment, or anger, nobody was really sure. Remy however, looked as if he was enjoying the song immensely. When it ended, Roberto put in another disc, as Piotr threw Scott up, and Kurt ported Jean onto the stage.

Raise a little hell, Raise a little hell! Raise a little hell!

Raise a little hell, Raise a little hell! Raise a little hell!

Jean and Scott both turned bright red, and rushed off the stage, not even waiting for the song to end.

"Our vork here is done." Kurt whispered to Piotr, while cleaning his hands.

"Da. Except them." Piotr pointed, and Kurt nodded. He ported to Roberto, and told him another song. Roberto nodded, and Kurt ported away. He returned to the stage moments before the song began with Rahne and Sam. Rahne still in wolf form.

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand,

Walkin' through the streets of Soho in the rain.

He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fooks,

Lookin' for to get a big dish of beef chow mein.

Awooooo! Werewolves of London!

Awooooooooooooo!

Sam and Rahne looked at each other. Rahne began to howl at the appropriate parts in the refrain. Sam and the others laughed at Rahne as she did.

Kurt and Piotr nodded, happy that they had done their job.

"Vell, mein freund, vant to find something to drink?"

"Da." Piotr and Kurt walked off, leaving the remainder of the group to dance away the night.

"Eurgh…" Tabby poked Kitty.

"You know, it's just about time to get off." Kitty moaned. "I'm not carryin' you, but I'm sure Kurt or Lance would!" Kitty made a half-hearted swipe at Tabitha, who ducked out of the way, and laughed. Walking out of the very tiny cabin, she encountered a tottering Bobby. "Lemme guess, morning after, but without the night before?" Bobby nodded, trying to stop the corridor from spinning. "Well, maybe you should have come to the party last night!"

"Party? What? I missed out on a eurgh!" Bobby rushed into the cabin. Tabitha laughed.

"Oh Pieboy!"

"What? This better be important!" Tabitha merely smiled.

"Were you at the party last night?"

"Yes! Amaramade-erm-made me keep all the food and everything supplied so that it didn't run out." Pietro finished grumpily.

"So that's why the food never disappeared…Kurt's trying to convince Baldy to bring the table with us. He thinks it's magic." Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Whaddya want?"

"You know favor two twenty?" Pietro's eyes bugged out.

"You'rejokin'! Ican'tdothat!" Pietro sped up as he continued with his wailings.

"Ooooh Wanda!!" Tabby yelled as loud as she could.

"Ack! I'lldoit! I'lldoit!!" Pietro sped off before Wanda poked her head out of another cabin.

"What!" She said in a tone that would strike fear in even Logan's heart.

"I just thought you might like to know that this little space? It's only three feet wide!" Wanda gave Tabby a murderous look, and then pulled her head back into the cabin.

The four vans and single jeep rolled off the ferry. Hank's van was in the lead, and Roberto was still playing disc jockey. Hank, deciding to take a break from driving, gave the wheel to Kurt.

"All you have to do is follow this here map. See? We're here, and we're headed to here. Got it?"

"Just leave it to da fuzzy dude!" Hank smiled, crawled into the back, and took a nap.

Nearly the entire van was bouncing with the beat of the music, that it wasn't until Kurt had passed four turn-offs that someone realized they had missed the one they wanted.

"Kurt! You missed the turn!" Amara shouted over the music.

"Really? Vell, ve'll just take the next one then!"

"Um, you sure we can do that?"

"Ja, why not?" Kurt had no idea why not…

AN: MUAH HA HA HA!! Only I know what happens next chapter!! WOAH HA HA HA!! Ah…I'm half debating whether to give a teaser or not…nah, but FINALLY!! NEWFIE TERRITORY!! Ja, I have the strangest plot bunny for this province, and it's multiplied like crazy. Yeesh, I only wanted a pet. Singular, A pet. Meh, plot bunnies are funny! Songs I used, incase anyone's curious:

Bad to the Bone-George Thorgood,

Fuel-Metallica,

I'm Just a Kid-Simple Plan,

I Can't Dance-Genesis,

Bad Reputation-Joan Jett,

Joker-Steve Miller Band,

Raise a Little Hell-Trooper, and

Werewolves of London-Warren Zevon, (I have to credit that one to Panther, otherwise I never would have known about it. It fits much better with your SoUS stories!)

Anyway, 'till next chapter!

Adios!!


	13. You're my WHAT?

AN: Hmmm…I just updated, and am typing up a storm again…This could be a good thing…Erratic is mein middle name! I think…somewhere in there…meh, anyway, Newfieland!! Heh, I'm gonna have so much fun with this one, and I have mein cousins to thank, without them, I never would have figured this out…of course, they don't realize they helped me. 8D 111 reviews! Wooo! Shout outs!

psychobunny410- Wow! I'll keep that in mind, and is this soon enough? *big smiley goes here*

Risty- I'm glad you like it! 10 Things I Hate About You? Another Joan Jett song? I'll check into it. Ray torture? You got it! It's so much fun! And Evan is particularly helpful there. I like Evan, so if I start using him too much, whack me.

Millenuim mutant- Northern Reflections isn't? Well, my bad, but the last few times I went down to the States, I didn't pay attention to the stores…I don't like shopping…

D-Ark of Spirit- Wow! Mein style is patented? I doubt it, but danke anyway! Heh, I like that line, expect to appear in a DISCLAIMER near you! Soon…And don't worry about Kurt and Kitty, nothing REALLY bad, and Rogue brandishing a pillow…I like that image too. Feel free to use it! And Logan likes to sleep in, otherwise I wouldn't be able to torture Scott anymore…Logan would have all the fun, and I can't let him! They got Advil, and Placebo (I actually thought that was a real type of medication once! Last week actually _) Yes, John burned the historical relic of a chair. ^_^ Jamie is cute, And it was Kitty/Bobby/Jubes, although I think Amara gets sick when she's on a boat, but I haven't seen Cruise Control yet. Meh. The adults find that that theory is very effective…and yes, Ray torture is fun, I think I have River of Dreams to thank for that. Kurt's gonna send 'em on a wild goose chase, for sure, and cameos of other mutants? Hmmm…

Panther Nesmith- Yes! And I might be using another! But it won't be till the end, so ja. I know! Warren Zevon's dead! I found out when my dad mentioned it last Thursday I believe it was…I mourned him by playing Werewolves of London at full blast…Heh, and I have indeed found a Newfoundland plot bunny, weird thing being, I found it in Nova Scotia O_o RABID will be getting a reference, just gotta decide where…heh, headquarters maybe…

animeluvr1- woah! This'll be a long shout-out! Heh, don't worry about it! New readers are always welcome! Heh, Steve, I know a guy named Steve, he annoys the hell outta me…heh, moving flammable object…with St. John…*spots plot bunny attempting to get away, and give chase* Ray may not seem the type, but I blackmailed him. And yes, it was Scott! Michael J. Fox…hmmm…The fruits and veggies thing is something they actually ask. And hoser! I gotta do that! Ja, I'm sure you did…Captain Sisko is a Star Trek thing, so don't worry if you don't get it, Storm's lost it three ways from yesterday. I did say Sam and Jamie twice! D'oh! Ah well, the Prof thought they didn't hear the first time. Tabby the klepto, holle ja! Canadian beer…as one comedian put it, 'With Canadian beer, the point comes AFTER the god damn seven!' Ja, it's strong. I think he'd be pretty tired after running around all day. Lance and steering wheel are very good friends…Tabby over Kitty, either way you have a feline driving! The water in Canada is generally colder…and Americans think we're freaks cuz we'll go swimming when it's twenty degrees C, and I like the cold, hate the heat, so I'd never survive in Florida. My friends think I'M a freak cuz I run around in shorts and a t-shirt when it's 0 degrees C (32 F) Yes, Kurt's lucky…heh. Monopoly, feel free! I actually got the idea from D-Ark, with his T/P relations…Kitty's a super-genius, but that's why it's so funny! I like Remy, so he gets bashed, Panther's rubbin' off on me…_ Actually, Alex spells it Havok, but that would be weird…O_o Wow, that's a long shout-out, but then you left twelve reviews, almost in a row…

Jassie- Pyro and Gambit are conspiring against the museum…I just know it…^_^ Glad you liked the party! And Gambit's gonna get it…ja! Rahne howling was borrowed from Panther, and Ray torture is just fun (I believe I've mentioned that several times…) You like me being evil? *begins worship* Getting seasick would suck, I suppose, heh, I like rough seas…and I agree! Canada is the best! Wooo! As for Newfie accents…feel free to laugh at mein attempts…

Wow! What a long AN! Can't forget this though!

DISCLAIMER: Some people can snap their fingers, I can't, I snap my toes instead.

"Ummm…Where are we?" Bobby asked, looking at the collection of houses.

"I guess I got us lost…" Kurt said sheepishly. Everyone glared at him.

"Now, this can easily be cleared up, we just have to ask someone from here just where this is, and how we can get to St. John's from here." Hank looked at the large group. "Any volunteers?" A cricket chirped.

"Shut him up!" Sam hissed at Bobby.

"The first one back with directions gets to decide what we do at the stop of their choice." Hank was trampled by twenty-three mutants, all in a mad stampede to get to the group of houses.

Knocking on the door, Bobby, Sam, Kurt and Rahne waited until it opened.

"Whaddya all be wantin' now b'y?" Bobby, Sam, and Kurt were left slightly confused at the speed the woman had rattled the phrase off. Rahne was the first to respond.

"We want the directions t' St. John's."

"Well, noaw, ye are all a bit off course iffen ye were tryin' t'get t' St. John's b'y. St. John's is on th' island, ye be on the mainland right now b'y. Ye look familiar, who be y' ma now b'y?" She looked straight at Bobby.

"Uh…um…my what?"

"Y' ma! Y' mother!"

"Oh! Um…Charlene Drake, why?"

"Drake! Charlene be my sista b'y! Yer my nephew!" Bobby, Sam, Kurt, and Rahne stared. "These y' friends? C'm in! C'm in! I jus' finished bakin' some tea biscuits! C'm in and have some with m'lasses on 'em!" The woman grabbed Bobby and Sam, while Kurt and Rahne followed dumbly.

"Umm…m'lasses?" Bobby looked questioningly at Rahne, who shrugged her shoulders.

"C'm! Meet y' cousins!" The woman dragged them into a smallish kitchen, where there were two kids sitting and eating.

"Margie! Josh! Looky at who jus' showed up at th' door b'y!" The kids stared. "It's yer cousin! An' some friends o' his b'y!"

"Hi…" The boy said, while the girl just watched them.

"'Ave a seat! 'Ere! 'Ave some biscuits! Thar fresh from th' oven! An' here's some fresh m'lasses to put on 'em b'y!" The four mutants looked dubiously at the plate of round and slightly browned items, and then at the carton that looked like a carton of milk set beside them. Sam shrugged, took one of the biscuits, and pulled it apart. Biting into one half of it, his face brightened as he chewed.

"Are they any good?" Kurt whispered.

"Tha' looks awful dry b'y! Try puttin' some m'lasses on it, or we have butter if y' prefer." Sam looked at the carton, and tipped some warm  brown semi-liquid onto the uneaten half of his tea biscuit. It started to drip a bit, and Sam put his hand under the biscuit half, and stuffed the whole thing into his mouth. He chewed, and gestured for the other three to have one.

"Th'r not poisoned if that's what're y' all 'fraid of." Josh said, as he reached for one. Bobby's aunt slapped his hand away.

"Let them all 'av a biscuit now! Ye've already had three b'y!" Kurt, Rahne, and Bobby all reached for the plate.

"Are you sure?" Scott looked Lance in the eye.

"Yeah, I'm sure! They were standing on the step, and then the lady dragged them all in and closed the door!" Lance shot back, angry that Scott was questioning him.

"Well, they may need our help! Which house?"

Bobby, Rahne, Kurt, Sam, Josh and Margie were sitting, laughing, and eating tea biscuits. Josh and Margie had introduced the mutants to the wonders of Cheese Whiz,  and margarine as tea biscuit toppings. Kurt, being Kurt, had poured all three over the biggest biscuit he could find, and then added some sugar, and oatmeal. Bobby's newfound cousins, being unused to Kurt's eating habits, watched in amazement as he downed his concoction, and proceeded to create another, while eating two other tea biscuits on the side.

"So you're actually older'n me?" Bobby asked Josh, for the third time.

"Aye, but not by much b'y, y' said y' was 14, and I jus' turned 15 las' week." Josh replied, unable to tear his eyes off Kurt.

"Aye, Josh 'ere jus' turned int' a teenybopper."

"Danke for the food Mrs…ummm, vhat's your name?" Kurt asked, suddenly confused.

"Mrs. Gena Gillis." Kurt opened his mouth, but was distracted by a sudden noise reaching his ears.

"All right! Let our friends go now!" The seven people in the kitchen turned to stare at Scott, who had switched his shades for his visor, and the rest of the X-men, plus Brotherhood, plus Acolytes, all charged, and ready for a fight, and all crammed into the hallway that lead from the door to the kitchen. The cricket began chirping again.

"Let y' friends go naow b'y? Who be 'oldin' 'em?" Mrs. Gillis looked slightly confused.

"Uhhh…you are, aren't you?" Evan asked, beginning to retract some of his spikes.

"Nay, 'm feedin' 'em. D'ye wan' any tea biscuits?" The young mutants all looked dubiously at the proffered plate. Logan snorted, walked forward, and speared three.

"Got any beans and milk?"

"So these are all your relations?" Jean asked, looking at Bobby askance.

"Well, not all, but about four families here are my blood relatives, and just about everyone else is a family friend." Bobby shrugged.

"Aye, that's right b'y, 'll have t' take y' t' meet the rest of y' fam'ly."

"That's very nice Mrs…Mrs…"

"Gillis"

"Mrs. Gillis, but our destination was St. John's, and your town doesn't seem to have any form of lodging, so we really should be on our way."

"Nonsense! Look 'round will y'? A'twixt us all, we can scare up some beds f' y' all t' sleep in!" Hank opened his mouth to argue, and Mrs. Gillis raised her hand, cutting him off. "Y' all stay 'ere b'y, and th's final!"

"But Mrs. Gillis! There's hardly enough room to lodge our entir-"

"Y're stayin'!"

"But-"

"It's final!"

"B-"

"Understand?" Mrs. Gillis brandished her spatula as if it were a deadly weapon, and could take down the furry blue gorilla in front of her.

"Yes ma'am." Hank squeaked. Even if he was a furry blue gorilla, a hot spatula to rear end is not very pleasant.

"So if y' don' mind, I set up some o' the foamies for y', and y' can sleep here! There's some blankets if y' get cold b'y." Mrs. Gillis sat Fred down on  the pile of foam mattresses. "Now, y' two can sleep on the fold-out if that's okay, an' one o' y' can bunk with Margie, and that leaves y' two." Rahne raised her hand timidly.

"If it's okay ma'am, I can sleep on the edge of any bed…"

"Are y' sure? I wan' y' all t' be comfortable…"

"It's perfectly okay Mrs. Gillis! I'll just curl up and they'll ne'er notice me!"

"All right, then y' three c'n go down an' sleep on the fold-out b'y, Ned's just settin' it up now, so y' take these blankets, an' make sure y' warm' nuff now b'y!" Mrs. Gillis sent Rahne, Amara, and Jubilee down, with more blankets than the Institute had.

"That just leaves y' naow…" Mrs. Gillis scanned the room. Kurt was hanging off the coat hooks, with a half dozen blankets, Wanda had been given the 'chesterfield', with two sheets, four pillows, and seven blankets. Fred was on the floor, along with Ray, Jamie, and Remy. Rogue was the only one without a place to sleep at the moment.

"Well, I guess y' c'n have th' ol' La-Z-Boy chair, b'y." Rogue followed the lady to a small corner, where a large comfy chair was. "Naow y' take these pillows and blankets, an' iffen y' get cold, don' worry, thar's more blankets in th' cupboard, jus' go get them." Rogue sat down in the chair, and after a moment of fiddling, pulled the lever, sending the footrest shooting out, and Rogue flying backwards.

"Yes, I f'got b'out that, tha' chair is a tad temperamental b'y, be careful with it naow! Y' all have a good night sleep! G'night!" Mrs. Gillis turned off the lights, and left the room. In the darkness, there was the sound of a crash, and the chair Rogue was in shifted position again, pushing the seat back up a bit, so Rogue was in a semi-reclining position.

Kurt lifted a fuzzy hand to rub the sleep out of his eye. He opened them, and fell off his coat hook.

"HI! IT'S ME!! STEVEN!!" The tiny midget jumped onto Kurt.

"Who the hell is up at this hour?" Ray demanded. Rogue glared from where her head was hanging off the edge of the footrest. Wanda glared from the 'chesterfield', while Remy and Fred mumbled to themselves. "WAKE UP!! IT'S MORNING!!" The kid shouted, as he jumped up and down on Kurt. Kurt ported away, landing on Fred, and nursing some crushed ribs.

"Go back to sleep kid! It's too damn early!" Ray growled, and then rolled over.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON YOUR FACE?" The midget asked, as he began to jump on Ray.

"WHAT?" Ray leaped up, and ran to the bathroom, to find a line-up. John, Bobby, Margie, and Jean were all in line.

"They only have one bathroom." Jean made a face.

"Josh's in there, and you're all gonna have t' wait a long time! He likes t' read books in there b'y." Margie piped up. Ray groaned.

"Do I have lipstick on my face?" he asked Jean.

"No, but I think your stings are infected…"

"Arrrgh!!" Ray scratched wildly at his welts.

"Jellies?" Margie asked, Bobby nodded. "We have some stuff for 'em b'y."

"Where? Where? I'll pay you! Just let me have it!" Ray grabbed Margie.

'It's in the bath b'y."

"Who's doing all that yelling?"

"Ah think his name was Steve…" Rogue glared at the midget. He was chasing two Jamie clones.

"He doesn't live here, does he?" Kurt watched Steven run circles around the Jamies. 

"Nah, he's my youngest nephew b'y." The group turned to see Mrs. Gillis walking into the room, just tying up her housecoat. "Steven, leave 'em alone, th'r 'Mericans b'y. Go back 'ome, wake y' da and y' ma." Steven nodded, and rushed out.

"He reminds me of Pietro…" Fred said, while Steve rushed out, out, and away.

"Did 'e wake y'?" Mrs. Gillis asked, as she walked into the kitchen.

It wasn't long before the smells of bacon and pancakes were wafting through the house, finally bringing Josh out of the bathroom. He was greeted by a mob, which couldn't decide whether to toss his head to Rahne, or rush the single bathroom.

It was well after noon by the time every one was ready to leave. And Mrs. Gillis would not allow it.

"Y' jus' got here! Stay awhile b'y! Meet all y' cousins! Th'y all want t' meet y'!"

Bobby shook his head, no.

"Of course we'll stay! I'm sure Bobby's eager to meet the rest of his cousins!" Bobby's head shot up, and glared at the Professor.

"This for trying to prove that Halifax harbor could freeze, isn't it?" Bobby asked. Hank nodded.

"C'mon!!" Margie grabbed Jamie and Rahne, while Josh latched onto Bobby and Scott.

"We'll show y' 'round b'y!" The remaining X-Men shrugged, and followed. Josh and Margie led them past the row of houses, and several people waved. By the time the reached 'town', five more kids were following. They had introduced themselves as more of Bobby's cousins. Joe, Kris, Caitlin, Theresa, and Mike, all five were younger then Josh, but older than Margie, who was eleven.

"That's Murph's store, he's pretty nice, if y' go in, and are short change, he'll still give y' y' ice cream b'y, but if he catches y' stealin', y' get banned. C'mon! Y're all slower'n cold molasses runnin' uphill!" Josh and Co. darted into the small store, and the majority of the newbies followed. Kurt, Kitty, Evan, Rogue, Acolytes, and Brotherhood shrugged, and stepped inside. Scott sighed, and followed Jean in, to 'keep and eye' on Remy.

The store was a small one, and the entire group was all huddled in one corner. In the center, was the small ice cream freezer. Josh and Kris were in the center, passing requested ice cream to the mutant who wanted it. Remy however, was off to the side, examining the playing cards and darts. Scott watched as he slipped two sets of darts into his pocket, followed by five card decks. Scott scanned the store for 'Murph', and spotting the lone adult, he walked over, and whispered some stuff in his ear. Murph stared at Scott.

"WHAT KIND O' FRIEND BE YE? SNITCHIN' ON Y' MATE B'Y! I NE'ER HEARD O' TH' LIKE! GET OUTTA M' STORE NOW BOY OR SO 'ELP ME B'Y!!" He thundered, Scott felt like shrinking at every word, and when Murph finished, he scuttled out of the store as fast as he could. Josh shrugged, and returned to fishing out various ice creams, drumsticks, and freezies. Remy walked to the front of the store, and emptied his pockets.

"'Lo! Remy'd like t' buy dese here items."

"Were y' really plannin' on stealin' 'em?"

"Non, if Remy had been, 'e woulda made 'is escape while de others were buyin' dere stuff." He shrugged, and handed over the appropriate amount of Canadian money. Walking out of the store, he spotted Scott, his face as red as his shades.

"Why me? Why why why?" He asked, speaking to no one in particular. It wasn't long before the other mutants exited, sucking on ice cream and freezies.

"Any of y' catch hoppers b'y?" Mike asked.

"Hoppers?" Kurt asked, looking at the Newfies quizzically.

"Grasshoppers, crickets, y'know, hoppers."

"I have a grasshopper…" Kurt said, looking in his pocket. 

"I got the cricket!" Bobby replied, angrily.

"You have Billy, I've got Mary!" Kurt shot back, removing the box labeled Mary.

"Wanna catch some more? I have a pop bottle in the garage…" Caitlin ran off to retrieve said bottle. Returning, the group followed Bobby's cousins to a large field. The Canadians started to search the field. Margie, Theresa, and Mike on their hands and knees, everyone else swiping their foot over the grass. Something hopped out from under Caitlin's foot, and she pounced on the small insect. Cupping her hands over it, she noticed something long green and slimy was also under her hands.

"Lahgo mah hongue!" Todd shouted best he could, Caitlin lifted her hands, tongue and cricket shot out and whacked Todd in the face. Theresa and Margie giggled.

"Aghh! He crapped on me!" Josh shouted. "Open the bottle!" Jamie hurriedly unscrewed the cap, and Josh dumped the cricket.

It wasn't long before the mutants and Bobby's cousins had caught nearly a hundred crickets. They were all lying in the grass, discussing the differences between Canada and the U.S. Alright, I lied, they were arguing over which was better.

"America may have hot places, but th' nigh on killed everythin' with th'r roads and buildin's and crap!"

"Canada's so freakin' cold though! I mean, jeez! It's 60 degrees!"

"Tha's another thing! Canada's metric! Like th' rest of the world! It's fifteen degrees!"

The argument continued in this manner, until Josh poked Evan in the eye. Then it became all out war. Rahne, Kurt, Roberto, Amara, Pyro, and Piotr sat on the sidelines, none of them being American.

"Oooh! I tink dat dat has to hurt…" Remy winced, and when the other guys saw what he was talking about, they too cringed. Amara ducked as a flying Jamie clone went over her head.

"The crickets!! The crickets!!" John chased after the pop bottle, which had bounced off Lance's head, and caught it in a running dive. "They're safe!!" He shouted, after spitting out the mouthful of grass. Rogue came flying out of the melee, using Sam's power, and bristling with spikes. Getting up to shake her head, she flew right back into the fight.

The six watched, and sat down, deciding it was gonna be a while.

"Wha' happened t' y' all?!? It looks like y' were hit by three fright coal trains b'y!" Mrs. Gillis stared at the two dozen or so black eyes, three missing teeth, four sprained limbs, grass stains galore, and cuts and bruises everywhere.

"We won ma!" Margie said proudly, best she could around a split lip and swollen jaw.

"Won what? Good Lord! What happened to you all?" Xavier stared at his charges, almost all of which were injured worse than after three sessions with Logan.

"The fight over whose national pride makes 'em do stupider things." Kurt said, as he helped himself to the plate a fresh cookies.

"Did you learn anything today?" Hank asked, trying to be stern. 

"We learned 'Mericans all hit like wussies b'y." Mrs. Gillis whacked Caitlin over the head with her spatula.

"I think y' broke my nose, but we bet 'em!" Joe was the next target for the spatula. The mutants looked from one to another, and shrugged.

"I guess we learned that Logan's not the only Canadian that doesn't like to fight fair. The Newfies, plus Mrs. Gillis turned and looked at Ray. "Ummm…" Logan stepped in the room, with a SNIKT! "Bye!" Ray squeaked, before turning tail to run like hell, before the Canadians got him. The other mutants sat down and ate all the cookies.

"Soo…" After the interesting chase, Ray now had dozens more bruises, they had eaten supper (beans, tea biscuits, and milk) and boredom had set in.

"Any bars 'round here?" Bobby asked suddenly.

"Yea, but th' all know us, and tha' we'r minors, s'no use." Josh leaned back, stretched and cracked his knuckles.

"They don't know us though yo!" Todd said, the mutants all brightened up.

"Yea, th' do b'y, small town, news travels fast, specially when y' got a ma wi' verbal diarrhea."

"Verbal" *sknif* "diarrhea?" *munf* Evan was trying his very best not to laugh, as was everyone else.

"Wanna roast some marshmallows b'y?" Mike asked suddenly. John perked up.

"Fire?" He asked innocently.

"I'll get the marshmallows!" Margie hopped off the floor, and rushed into the kitchen, where there was a congregation of adults.

"Outside!" Josh shouted, pointing to the door. The group rushed out, and the Newfies began to clear an area for a fire pit. It didn't take long.

"Grab some sticks!" Theresa began scrounging the ground for long straight sticks.

"Get the gasoline!!" Mike shouted, running off into the garage, returning with a large can of fuel. Pyro flipped open his lighter, and the flame moved from the lighter to the gasoline soaked ground and firewood.

FWOOMP!!

The fire cackled happily, as Pyro sat back down, slightly singed would be an understatement. Theresa and Margie giggled happily as the stuck marshmallows on their sticks, and thrust them in the fire. Josh did the same, and removed the burning lump of sugar out a moment later. He started to wave the stick around, attempting to put out the fire. Instead, he flung the marshmallow halfway across the field.

Fwoomp!

The mutants watched as half the field went up in flames. Pyro giggled maniacally.

"Fire…fire…burn…" He began to chant. 

"Put it out genius!" Josh whacked Pyro on the back of his head.

"Spoil all my fun…" He grumbled, but put it out, rather reluctantly.

"Anyone want my marshmallow b'y?" Margie asked, holding a charred and blackened mass.

After another night, and another early morning wake-up call, courtesy of Steven, the mutants were ready to leave, Bobby especially, making special vows never to return to Canada after this trip. The Acolytes took the lead for this round.

"Poke." Piotr said, poking John.

"Poke poke." John poked Piotr and then Sabretooth. Sabretooth growled. "Sorry! Poke." John poked Pietro.

"Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke!" Pietro poked everyone in the van, excluding Sabretooth, half a dozen times. St. John became annoyed.

"Pokety poke pokem!" He said, poking Pietro. Pietro poked back, and before long, the two were very involved in a poke war, which hit it's peak when John pulled out his lighter, and tried to hit Pietro with a fireball. Needless to say, he missed, and instead set fire to the van.

"EVERYONE BAIL!!" Remy shouted as he hit the brakes and dove out the drivers door. The Acolytes leaped out of the van, just as the fire hit the fuel tank.

"Ooooh!! Fire!!" St. John began to toy with said fire. The remaining four vehicles screeched to a stop behind the flaming wreckage of the Acolytes'.

"What happened? Is everyone okay?" Hank asked, exiting his van, closely followed by the entire student population. Including Wanda.

"John was poking me and I poked him back and he blew up th-WANDA!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!"

"PIETRO!!!" Wanda threw the giant flaming fireball at the speed demon, missing, and hitting metal Colossus instead.

"Ugh, I did nothing to you, vhy do you attempt to injure me?" He asked, lifting the burning car and tossing it to the side of the road. Wanda ignored him, her one goal at the moment, to kill Pietro.

AN: Heh heh, did you likey? Bobby's cousins are basically my cousins, with a few alterations, including their names. Yes, even Steven…I swear, if that midget wakes me up one more time at 5 30 am, I'm gonna strangle him…yes…anyway, next up is Quebec, and some damage control for this rivalry of Pietro and Wanda's…Ahhh…Sibling rivalry…and btw, I've FINALLY SEEN X2!!! WOOO! I actually saw it about three weeks ago, but ja, the had Beast! And Colossus! And Remy's name! And Jamie's name! And more cameos than a can of beans! AND THEY KILLED JEAN!! But they made Rogue kiss Bobby! Erkness…anyway, till next update! And sorry for the shortness, but I want to get this up.


	14. Time to eat! And Have a little fun!

AN: More story!! I'm on one helluva roll! I've updated more in the last two weeks than I think I have all summer! Ehh…maybe not, but still! Don't expect this often, but then again, meh. If this chapter seems off, or, at least more than usual, it's cuz I'm sitting in mein basement, by my dad's workshop, and he's staining something, and the fumes are going to mein head…meh, perhaps it will improve mein writing!

Tainehah- Sorry I didn't respond before, I had just finished, and was posting when I got your review. Expect Summerfolk in the next four chapters…I think…

D-Ark of Spirit- Again! Crazy cousins are horrid, especially Steven, well, Jarett really, but still horrible, horrible, horrible. And really, the Americans lost because…well, I really don't know why, I guess I just thought it was a tad ironic that eighteen odd mutants, some adults, couldn't take seven young human Canadians…I love irony.

animeluvr1- Really? I never paid attention to the Batman movies, but maybe, just, maybe. Biscuits are very nummy, and my grandma actually has a spatula of doom, it's frightening…even mein parents and uncles are scared of it. Now that you mention it, it did look like the Dentyne commercial!

JaSSie- Really? Any Newfie who reads this may not agree, but I'm glad someone likes it! ^_^ Yes, mein cousin really does wake me up that early, it's…annoying…*eye twitches* heh, you liked that pun? Hmm…would you believe me if I said it was unintentional? Well, maybe on some subconscious level it was intended, but meh. Day of Reckoning I think you mean, Recovery hasn't been shown…it better not have! I missed it if it was!! Yeah, chesterfields do rule. ^_^

psychobunny410- A midget basketball team on the moon? He sounds funky!

Risty- Remy has no worries about the funny money, he deals with it all the time! ^_^ Nah, he's a thief, not a counterfeiter…Remy fans are gonna be out to get me now…Heh, even in England? Don't you drive on the wrong side of the road? Meh, there's a place in B.C. where they do that, it's weird…

klaus- umm…you know, I don't like flamers who try to hide, it means you're fearful of mein wrath!! Really though, if you want to rant, fine and dandy, but at least leave an e-mail so I can counter rant, or rant with you about Americans.

rick- I have the same amount of respect for you, I have never apologized in mein  life, although I have hit people…

Personage- Heh, I'm glad you like!

Millenium mutant- Heh, Wanda incurs more wrath, later, the whole Mystique scene was…creepy…esp. when she transformed into Rogue. *shudders* You were the first ones there? Heh, mein friends and I were the first ones to a LotR movie,  it was fun, we were talking to the people in the little film room.

MeEh- Yes, romance will probably be fluffy, and sporadic, as I'm a humor person, not exactly romance. _

Appin Took- Yeah, Beast, unfurried was in X2…bonus points if anyone can tell me where!! Plus they can choose a mutant to torture…^_^ Klaus is annoying, but they obviously don't have a clue about what they're talking' about…they're just ranting. Hmm…anyone else notice how all flamers are automatically referred to as him? I wonder…Anyway, I'm gonna offer this chapter as a way of appeasing you…

Panther Nesmith- Actually…the aunt is a mix of my grandma and two of my four aunts…they really do give you half the blankets in the house. The X-Men should have won the fight, what with their superior numbers and abilities, but I thought it was a slight twist to have the six Canucks win. ^_^

Scrawler- I hit Colossus, yes, only because I wanted to hit someone, but not injure or maim them. You read this all in 3 hours? I didn't think it was that long! You're mom thinks you're crazy? Join the club…I've fallen off mein chair a few too many times…plus mein mom keeps hearing me laughing my rear off…here's some more!

RogueDragon5- I'm sorry that you don't like American bashing…I did warn you against it…and a lot of these interactions are true life occurances…Stampede can bring…interesting…peeps up from the States…

princess-freak- John does have an odd choice in undergarments…heh, if it weren't for spell-check, my typing would be unreadable…and my writing is better than any damn code the government can come up with…lor' I'm the only one able to read it. X2 is awesome…tire? Hmmm…research is needed…You have poke wars too?!? I'm not alone in the universe!! *poke*

These ANs just keep getting longer and longer!

DISCLAIMER: I don't need another hole in my head! I already have seven!

Note: Mein sister actually did the below, and so did I, but I fell asleep after about half an hour, she went for two full hours…_

"Tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree house tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree field field field tree tree tree tree…"  Jamie chanted, staring out of the window.

"Stop it already!!" Pietro shouted, the Professor had made him slow down for the remainder of the trip, just so people could understand him.

"He's only been going for three hours, he said he wanted to hit five…" Ray supplied, and winced as Pietro smacked him on the infected stings.

"I don't really care if he's trying to throw himself out of the window! Just as long as he shuts up!!" Pietro griped.

"Hmmm…does little Jamie bug poor ol' Pieboy?" Tabby asked sweetly. "Sounds like fun! Mind if I join you Jamie?"

"Tree tree tree nope tree tree tree tree…"

"Woo hoo! Tre tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree house mailbox tree tree tree tree…" Pietro tugged at his ears. Kurt shrugged. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! He began to chant with Tabby and Jamie.

Remy poked at the unconscious Wanda. Rogue was acting twice as 'moody' as usual, due to Wanda's mind in her head. Wanda had been intent on destroying Pietro, and the only way to subdue her had been for Rogue to steal her powers, and her consciousness.

"Y' sure it was a good idea t' knock her out cold like dis?" He asked nobody in particular.

"Would you rather be fighting her to keep her brother alive?" Logan growled.

"Actually, I tink dat de fille be allowed to kill Speedy."

"Chuck doesn't agree." Logan returned to playing cards with Sabretooth.

"Where are we, like, headed Professor?" Kitty asked, taking her attention away from the game of Cheat. Pyro set her cards on fire.

"Quebec. Montreal to be more specific." Bobby froze the cards before Kitty was burnt.

"Bobby!! Leave my cards alone!!" She shouted, not realizing they had been on fire moments earlier. Jubilee tossed a sparkler towards John. He caught it, and was blinded when it went off.

Jean was trying to show Scott how to be a good navigator, as they were in the lead again.

"We're on this highway, and to get to here, we need to get onto this highway over here, you need to tell me what turn to take, got it?" Jean was steering telekinetically, and using her hands to point to the places on the map.

"I think so…" Scott said, not entirely sure of himself, but not wanting to admit that he could be wrong.

*Let's just say…22 detours, and 97 wrong turns later*

It was late, very late, and while finding a hotel had been easy, finding the city of Montreal had not. Well, not with Scott as their guide. Xavier and Ororo entered their rooms, 'delegating' the explaining of the rules and such to Hank and Logan, with the occasional growl from Sabretooth.

"You all know the rules by now I hope." Hank looked over all the mutants, who nodded. "Then I don't have to go over them, again?" They shook their heads. "Tomorrow you'll have free reign of the city, try not to destroy anything, or start an international incident." Hank shook his head and left. Logan and Sabretooth growled, and the students nodded, in a frightened manner.

"Are we gonna do anything?" Jamie asked in a horse voice. He, Tabby, and Kurt were all hoarse, having chanted the entire ride.

"Sleep." Scott said, with a finality in his voice that said no arguments. So everyone objected.

"What?"

"But we're left without chaperones! Again!"

"You're kiddin'!"

"He's sleep deprived, can't think straight, as are all of you, so sleep, NOW!" Logan had poked his head around the corner. There was a mad scatter, and the hall was empty, save for two left shoes, three pairs of pants, a hat, and a lost glove.

Bright and early the next morning, Bobby and Kurt were up, Kurt with his voice back, and still very pleasant. They decided that it'd be nice to get breakfast for the rest of the group, seeing as the hotel did not offer one. They poked at Jubilee and Evan until they were awake, and dragged them away.

"Where can we get breakfast for twenty-eight peeps?" Evan wondered, not altogether grumpy that he'd been woken up relatively early.

"Tim Hortens?" Kurt suggested.

"Yeah!! Those 'timbits' were awesome!" Bobby began to leap up and down with excitement. Jubilee poked him.

"How many should we get?" She asked.

"Vell, the family pack had 65, right?" The three nodded. "So if we get a few of those, we can all have a lot of timbits!! And coffee for Logan, and the other adults…" He added as an afterthought. The four breakfast planners set off, in search of a Tim Hortens. (AN: They're about as common as Starbucks, well, not quite, but not hard to find, ja, just thought you might like to know that! ^_^)

It didn't take them long to get lost. Kurt waylaid a stranger.

"Excuse me, Herr, vhere is the nearest Tim Hortens?" The man looked at the four mutants, and then began to rattle off rapid-fire French. The four just stared dumbly.

"Tim Hortens? Ah! Trois blocs cette façon, et quatre en bas. Bonne chance." 

"Umm…Parlez-vous en Anglais?" Evan asked, using the only French phrase he knew.

"Non, desole." The man continued on his way, leaving the four teens stranded, lost, and hungry.

"Well, if we wander around long enough, we'll eventually find a Tim Hortens, right?" Bobby said, the others shrugged, and proceeded to wander.

Bobby and Jubilee walked a little off to the side of Kurt and Bobby. They weren't really paying attention to where they were walking, and walked right into a police officer…a female police officer…with a rather large…umm…bosom. Bobby couldn't help but stare. Jubilee smacked him. The made to walk around the officer, but she moved with them, so Bobby bumped into her, and turned very red. He tried to go the other way, and the same thing happened, except Jubilee slapped him again. Kurt and Evan were off to the side, killing themselves with laughter. After another try, Bobby decided to try and apologize.

"Uhh…Ma'am? Um, I'm really sorry about all this, but you see…" Bobby trailed off. The woman smiled, grabbed Bobby's arm, and pointed towards a camera hidden in some bushes. Bobby's eyes became the size of dinner plates.

"You might be on TV." She whispered into Bobby's ear. He grabbed Jubilee, and made like a bat out of hell. Kurt and Evan were killing themselves. They continued wandering, as best they could, with Evan and Kurt laughing so hard that they could barely walk. 

"Shut up." Bobby mumbled, as he walked towards a Tim Hortens he had spotted in the distance.

After another hour of wandering to find the hotel, the four returned with half a dozen family packs, and twelve coffees. Logan, Sabretooth, Hank, Ororo and Xavier immediately swiped one each, with Remy, Piotr, St. John and Pietro close behind. Rogue, Tabby, Scott and Jean were left to fight it out over the last three. Scott was the only one without coffee that morning.

The younger mutants devoured the first two boxes in no time flat, but after the third, they were all stuffed. They still had three left, so they had a brainstorming session to figure out what to do with the remaining three boxes. Kurt and Evan had some suggestions, based on Bobby's experience. They were both promptly slapped by every girl three ways from Sunday. Sam picked up a timbit, and examined it in an attempt to identify what use the round doughy ball could possibly have. He tossed it over his shoulder, where it promptly hit Rahne. She growled, and responded by throwing one at Sam's head. Sam threw another, but missed and hit Roberto instead. Thus, the war began.

In the midst of flying food, Logan poked his head into the room, and was immediately pelted by three sugar-coated jelly filled timbits. Withdrawing his head, Sabretooth laughed, and Logan leapt at him, claws bared.

When finally their ammo ran out, each and every mutant, including all four Jamies, was covered with timbit dough. And laughing. Kurt was liking his fur, trying to get the last vestiges of jelly out, while a Jamie, Bobby, and Ray poked at what they believed had been a trench-coat, but weren't quite sure. Wanda was sitting in a chair, and suddenly remembered that she hated Pietro, who was sitting on a bed. Growling, she entwined him firmly in the sheets of the bed. He wasn't gonna be going anywhere fast, or soon.

Amara opened the door, to find a jelly faced Logan wrestling with a relatively clean Sabretooth. Shaking her head, she stepped over the pair.

"Feral wild men." She sighed, as she stepped over them.

Clean, and ready to go on the search for more interesting things to do, the mutants split up. They wandered the city in groups of twos, threes, and fours, and discovered that all the French that the 'nerds' took actually had a use…especially when in search of a washroom.

"No! I need to find the bathroom!!" Tabitha shouted at the person walking by. There was a small crowd forming around her. (AN: Canadians can be like sheep at times, they see a crowd, and they wander over to find out what everyone is looking at…It's fun at times, just take some time to stop and stare at a drain pipe, and at least five people will stop to ask you what you're looking at.) The person took a step back.

"Je ne c'est pas !" He said, raising his hands in a sign of defeat. Tabby was frightening him. She was becoming angry, and felt like giving the man a boom-ball.

"Bathroom!! You know, place to go piss?!?" Tabby leaned over the guy, who again tried to scrabble away. Roberto was turning red. Another person in the crowd noticed this. She leaned over.

"Is that your friend?" Roberto felt like saying that he didn't know her at all.

"Umm…" he stalled, trying to come up with a plausible lie.

"Tell her to leave that poor homme alone…there is a washroom in that store over there." Roberto nodded his thanks, grabbed Tabby, and dragged her, still yelling at the man, into the department store, and followed the signs to the washroom.

"What was that all for? I was just getting warmed up!" Tabby complained. Roberto groaned.

"There's your bathroom!"

Remy had followed Rogue, and the now awake and murderous Wanda. He had no language difficulties, only quasi-misanthropic Goths. Wanda still wanted to kill Pietro. Rogue half wanted to help her. Remy had to stop them both, and keep an eye on Todd, who was attempting to pick pockets. Remy had to laugh. Todd was awful at it. The person would stop suddenly, and Todd would run into them.

"Stinkboy! C'm back o'er 'ere!" Remy called, watching as the thirty-fourth person glared at Todd, and pulled their purse and or wallet to where they could keep an eye on it.

"Leave him! I hope the police cart him off." Wanda said in a dangerous tone. She continued to search for a familiar wind. Rogue was torn between helping Wanda murder her brother, and watching Todd get caught again. Wanda's mind was quickly disappearing. She watched Remy show Todd how to pick a pocket.

Choosing his mark, Gambit advanced stealthily. He 'accidentally' bumped into them.

"Excuse moi mon ami!" Gambit tipped his head, while slipping his hand into the man's back pocket, and pulled out his wallet. Returning to Todd, he flipped the wallet over, and Todd caught it.

"Hey! There's no money in here yo!" Todd exclaimed opening the wallet. Remy smiled, and fanned the seventy dollars out. Todd watched with wide eyes, as Remy made it disappear as quickly as it had appeared. Eager to attempt this new…technique…Todd hopped over to the nearest crowd, and bumped into a person.

"Sorry yo!" Todd reached his and into the man's back pocket, and the man started to walk away, with Todd's hand still in his back pocket. Todd stumbled into step behind the man, while Remy gave him a critical smile, hiding the grin. Rogue and Wanda watched as Todd attempted to free his hand, without the guy noticing. He was quickly disappearing down the street. Wanda smiled an evil smile. 

Remy had been approached by two people. One began to speak rapid-fire French, and Remy nodded, understanding. Rogue watched, half-hoping the two people were there to arrest the thief. Remy smiled a charming smile, and stood between the two people. The first began talking in more rapid-fire French, and Remy translated.

"He wants t' know if y' c'n get t' couch t' him by T'ursday."

"Tell him I can't truck it over till next Friday! I'm really busy eh?"

"Il ne peut pas l'apporter jusqu' au vendredi prochain." The Frenchman nodded. The conversation continued in this manner for nearly two minutes. Nearly. Two minutes after they had first approached Remy, the conversation changed.

"I can't bring it until Friday! My cousin is in the hospital!"

"Il peut't l'apporte jusqu' au vendredi. Son cousin est dans l'hôpital." Remy translated.

"Well, my parents are coming on Thursday, and I need to sleep on that couch!"

"Ses parents viennent jeudi, et il a besoin de dormir sur le divan." Remy turned, and just spoke French to everyone. Rogue was laughing too hard, and it wasn't until Remy spotted Rogue doubled over that he realized that both the men were speaking English.

"Ummm…desole?" The men laughed, and pointed to a camera that was half hidden by bushes. Remy turned a deep shade of red, and waved.

Sam had finally found a way to rid himself of Jamie. Stick close to Piotr. The Russian was intimidating, yes, but with a choice between a midget and a giant, Sam took the giant.

"So…ah…um…" Sam struggled for words, trying to think of something to break the silence. Piotr turned and looked at Sam. Sam blasted. He broke the silence alright, as well as two glass store fronts and a lamppost.

Jean, Scott, and Rahne were wandering the streets, when a small coin hit Rahne in the head. Turning around quickly, she searched for the tosser of said coin. Scott and Jean continued to stroll along, as if they were completely oblivious to all. Which they were, until another coin whacked Jean. Jean turned and flung Rahne against a tree.

"What ye be doin' that for now lass?" She asked, picking herself up. A third coin beaned Scott, who jumped, and spun, hands to his shades, ready to rip them off, and blast someone from here to kingdom come. A fourth coin fell at his feet.

"Umm…where did this come from?" He asked, relaxing slightly. Another coin flew from out of nowhere, to hit Rahne in the shoulder.

"It be rainin' money!" Rahne cried jubilantly. She rushed around, collecting all the coins.

"Uh, Rahne, they're coins. They're not worth much!" Jean said, pouting that she had been hit.

"Nay, these ones are worth two dollars! I found that out from Bobby's cousins." Rahne continued to collect the coins like mad. Jean and Scott watched as she crawled about, picking up a large amount of change.

Later, as the mutants congregated in a somewhat central park, they were discussing what to do for supper. Xavier was nowhere to be seen, although the speculations of where he was were…imaginative. They ranged from he was kidnapped; to he was off…enjoying…himself.

"Lance!! That's like, totally disgusting!" Kitty whined, as Lance smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Back to the issue of food…" Kurt said with a face.

"Who wants to think about food now?" Jubilee asked. All the guys raised their hands.

"Dinner's on meh!" Rahne smiled happily, producing eight rolls of toonies. "I have o'er four 'undred dollars here!" She explained proudly.

"Where'd you get all that money?!?" Ray asked, as he stared, and absentmindedly scratched his infected stings.

"It was rainin'." Rahne said in an off-hand manner. Jean and Scott groaned.

"There was a guy under a grate and he was shooting them up. It's gonna be on TV." Scott explained.

"Who cares how she got them! She's payin' for dinner! Let's go!" Tabby leaped upwards, and ran in a direction that she hoped would send her toward an eating establishment. The mutants shrugged and followed.

*Three hours later, after much wandering, the X-Men, Brotherhood, and Acolytes are extremely tired, and have gained more experience than was ever thought possible in a Canadian 'town'*

"See anyplace yet?" St. John asked, for the third time.

"Will you stop asking!! It's driving me mad!!" Wanda shouted.

"I thought she already was mad…" Ray whispered to Lance. Lance shrugged.

"It's not been me askin' Sheila! It's been the midget! Or…midgets…" John looked as Jamie was quickly filling the streets, every time someone jostled him.

"Ah found a place!" Sam called out, ducking into a nearby Swiss Chalet. The horde followed. Once inside, they were seated, and ordered their food.

"What's poutine?" Jubilee asked, looking at the menu. Kurt glanced over her shoulder.

"It's food." He ported to his seat, and ordered two hamburgers, fries, and a side of poutine…whatever it was…

"They serve pancakes for supper?" Bobby asked, staring at the menu. He, Sam, and Jamie all ordered some.

When the food arrived, taking much too long for Pietro, who was still trying to dodge the odd hex from Wanda, Kurt looked at the meal he had ordered. It looked like there was lumpy gravy on top of his fries. Jamie, Bobby, and Sam looked all rather pleased with their plates. They had three pancakes apiece, some little butter packs, and two bottles of syrup. One was plain old syrup, and the other was maple.

"SUGAR!!" Jamie grabbed the two bottles, and used half of each on his three pancakes. Even Kurt looked shocked. Kitty's expression was nothing short of horrified. The syrup, was then passed to Bobby and Sam. They picked up the bottles, poured a fourth of what was left onto their pancakes.

You know what the strange thing about syrup is? It doesn't matter how careful you are, syrup always gets onto the outside of the bottle. Sam and Bobby tried to put the bottles down. Bobby managed to release his, being the normal syrup, but as he pulled his hand away, long strings of the syrup followed his hand. Sam wasn't so lucky. His hand was stuck fast. He shook his hand a couple of times, but the maple syrup just wouldn't let go.

"Uh…a little help please?" He asked, Rahne reached over, and grabbed the bottle with two hands, and tugged.

"Great, now we both be stuck." Amara and Jubilee giggled.

"Shut up…" Sam grouched.

"This syrup's amazing!" Jamie smiled, happily oblivious of the situation he had crated by using the syrup bottles first.

"Perhaps you two had best try to find a place where you can wash the syrup off…" Hank offered. Sam and Rahne looked at each other, and began to try and get out from the table. Sam was sitting between Bobby and Kurt, while Rahne was next to Jamie and Wanda. And their hands were in the middle of the table. Stuck to the same syrup bottle. Rahne walked toward her left, while Sam did the same, they both changed directions, and began to move both to the right.

"Ya right or mine?" Rahne asked, after getting an angry glare from Wanda.

"Uh…mahne!" Sam moved into Kurt, who got up and moved. Jamie was too engrossed in his pancakes to do the same for Rahne. She worked her way around him, and they rushed off to the bathrooms, taking out a waiter on their way.

"Sorry!" Sam called out, as Rahne continued to drag his hand away.

"That's it!! I refuse to work until you find a way to detach people's hands from the maple syrup bottles!" The angry employee stormed off.

Kurt had polished off his first hamburger, and half of his second. He hadn't touched the gravy covered fries yet. Tabby and Todd were quite enjoying them however.

"Keep you're eyes on you're fries Blue." Tabby said, snatching another one. 

"Same goes here!" Todd snagged a fry with his tongue.

"Hey! These are mine!!" Kurt slammed Todd's tongue with a peppershaker.

"You're not eating them." Tabby pointed out, stealing yet another.

"I haven't…got to them yet."

"Yeah, right, you just don't like the poutine stuff yo!" Todd said, to the best of his ability while nursing his injured tongue.

"Not true!" Kurt protested. He did have a rep to keep up after all.

"Then try some." Tabby picked a fry, and offered it to Kurt. 'It looks like Kitty's cooking…' He thought. Jean snorted into her salad. Every head turned towards her.

"Too much pepper…" Jean snorted again. Kurt grabbed the fry from Tabby, and put it in his mouth. 'Worst comes to worst, it IS one of Kitty's recipes…' He swallowed, opened his eyes, and abandoned his half finished burger for the fries and poutine.

Sam and Rahne were arguing. Rahne didn't want to go into the Men's room to wash the syrup off, and Sam flat out refused to enter the Women's room.

"I ain't gonna go in there fer love 'r money!" Rahne growled.

"It'll be faster! There's no line up!" Sam gestured his free hand toward the lengthy line up of women waiting to get in.

"I still dinnea want to go in the Men's room." Rahne stood firm.

"Come on! We can be in an' outta there in less than five!"

"Will that be all?" The waiter asked, looking around. Twenty-five heads all nodded yes. "Then I shall bring the bill." It was at this moment, that all the mutants realized that Rahne was the one with the money.

"Evan? Jubilee? Would you two care to find where Sam and Rahne are?" Hank asked, and began to dig through his wallet. The others began to look through whatever cash they had.

"I've got seventy thousand…" John offered. Hank looked up excitedly. "…In Monopoly money…" Ray laughed, and scratched.

"I've got a penny!"

"Three dollar bill!"

"A piece of metal that's the same size and shape of a quarter…" Hank sighed, and hoped that Rahne would be found very quickly.

Evan could not stop laughing, and once Jubilee told the world, neither could any of the other guys. Or most of the girls for that matter. Sam was very red-faced, and kicking himself for giving in to Rahne. Rahne wasn't bothered in the least, but it wasn't her everyone was laughing at. Jamie was currently being carried by Hank, all the way back to the hotel room, as well as sleeping.

*A wander moment…meaning? We leave mutants this chapter has focused in on to go to…*

"You've been here long enough, the government has approved your release."

"What?" Mystique asked dumbly.

"You're free to go, but, we must confiscate your bucket and cape." Magneto wrapped his arms around his bucket protectively. The large officer walked in, and took hold of the cape.

"No! My cape! You cannot steal it! I am not as mysterious without it!" Magneto released his hold on his bucket to hold onto his cape with both hands. The officer snatched the bucket, and Magneto released his cape to dive at the bucket. "No! You can't steal my bucket!! Without it, Xavier can read my mind!"

"You two can leave at anytime." The officer walked away, holding onto the cape and bucket firmly. Mystique stepped out of the tiny building, and looked around. The border crossing was abandoned. Empty. Completely. No sign of anyone, not even the officer. She sighed, and dragged a semi-sobbing Magneto out of the building, and began to walk.

AN: It took me two weeks exactly to finish this…*sigh* Future chapters will probably take longer, as my mom is limiting my computer time to two hours a day…*grumbles* Eh, it'll be in effect for two days, then she'll forget about it. Or similar. Anyway, Mags and Mystique are free!! What will be the consequences? I don't know…well, anyway, if you want any particular couples in this fic, let me know, variety is the spice of life. And I've discovered, that sitting in a basement with paint fumes is inspirational…this time it was my sisters project, while I was watching Star Trek. Meh. I had something else to say, wait! The gags were taken from a show called Just For Laughs: Gags…and one was from Candid Camera…I think…meh. Anyway, that's it! Except for these words of wisdom…

Ah, no, picture this. Bumpity-bumpity-bumpity-SPLAT!

I'm a weather witch, not a snow plow!

I pointed to an enchilada and it kinda, uh, blew up.

The difficult we can do right away. The impossible just takes a little longer.


	15. The Tender Mercies of Rick Mercer, Plus ...

AN: I just love these…you probably hate 'em, but you're not me! Wheee! Lor' I need to find something else to do…nah. I'd rather spend my time here. It's the beginning of a long weekend!! Wooo! Thank god for Thanksgiving!! Yes, for all you Americans reading this, Canadians celebrate their Thanksgiving in October…the second Monday of October for that matter. This Monday…yes…Monday, October 13th…let's see if I can get this chapter up tonight…that'd be nice…very nice…although, in order to do that, I must cease this ceaseless rambling. Instead, I shall give out shout-outs, and cookies to all those who reviewed. My school had a fifty-cent bake sale today, so anyway. You get cookies! Or brownies if you prefer…

Risty- Yes, you keep on thinking that…*pats head* Remy was embarrassed…I just can't get enough of torturing him…It's so much fun for some reason…or another…Logan and Mystique? Hmmm…suggestion taken, and filed for future use. Mags and Mystique are gonna need to FIND Xavier, Logan, and company before you can expect any fluff…^_^

Millenium mutant- Ahhh…a theatre to oneself…*sighs happily at the thought* I could do all the annoying stuff I do when I'm at home watching a movie! And make shadow puppets! Yeah, I know you're way past DoR in the US…WBKids and/or Cartoon Network are being annoying and not giving the Canadian station (SINGULAR not plural…) the episodes or something…or maybe we should all be blaming YTV for it's incredible slowness in showing the episodes…

D-Ark- Yes…us Canadians have much to fear from Buckethead…WITHOUT HIS BUCKET!! Rahne has several secret weapons she can unleash on poor Sam…who seems to be on the receiving end of mucho punishment from me…^_^

Panther- Expect a RABID appearance in this chapter, if I can work it…the waiter was fun to write for some reason…haven't a clue why, but he was fun!

jasseie- hello again, it was a Swiss Chalet, not an IHoP, although I've heard those are nice places…why was Swiss Chalet serving pancakes for dinner? Cause I'm the author and held this particular Swiss Chalet at gunpoint until they added pancakes to their menu…^_^ The sheep thing is very true, and it's so much fun!! Although it can get annoying, esp. when there's a crash or something and everyone on the highway slows down to take a look…Tabs is fun to write, you can make her do anything, and blame it on her character being so unpredictable. Personally, I think the jelly filled powdered sugar ones are the best, they make the biggest mess…I had some Timbits today…they were nummy… Rahne dragged Sam into the women's washroom, that's why he was so embarrassed…Toad picks pockets in Strategy X, and then the jocks come and Scott gets to rescue the damsel in distress and blah… Canada is very big…

psychobunny410- Yes, I do remember, but I'm wondering whether to put any more songs in this particular fic…if the opportunity should arise, expect an e-mail.

Freakish Fangirl- you changed your name! I don't know whether I like your new one, or your old one better…requires ponderment…and thanks for the definition of tire. Perhaps Jamie will pick some up before they leave Quebec…

DuctapDaredevil- You came to this great giant country of ours? *so happy*

animeluvr1- I've never watched Teen Titans…no, that's wrong…I watched it once…and thought it was very…amusing…and yes! You and D-Ark are both rubbing off on me!! Him and his fluffy songfics and you with Tabby! Ah well, I consider it a good thing on both counts…don't you? Great minds plagiarize each other after all. *insert idiotic grin smiley here* An idea? Involving X23 and Canada? I should put X23 in this fic somewhere…hmmm…*ponders*

1 4/\/\ PH33R1/\|G TH1/\|3 /\/\4|) $K1LLz ^_^ Life I need…

Two dollar coins are fun, and I read somewhere that there should be an eighteen cent coin introduced to the US…so twoonies suddenly don't look so bad…Yes, there is poutine, and it actually IS gravy and cheese. Kurt just couldn't see the cheese, hence it was described as lumpy gravy. Ja. And it actually tastes quite good…

Personage- Heh, plugging, is, as always, allowed in reviews to mein fics, as I tend to do a large amount of it myself. ^_^ Insanity is always useful…just let it fly. Your grandparents are French-Canadian? My grandparents on my dad's side are Scottish…and they live in Toronto…

meeemeeee- You're absolutely right! And know what? We're talkin' about CBC in Social, while discussing *gasp* Canadian Identity! I should add 'em in…meh. They'll be in this chapter.

Ja…shout-outs completed…here's the promised cookies…a little squashed, but they were in mein backpack for most the day. Deal.

DISCLAIMER: My fortune cookie says the world is always ready to receive talent with open arms…a scary thought if it's my talent they're talkin' 'bout…must be pretty tapped…

"Wake up!" Twelve Jamies chorused all at once. Sam turned his head, and saw fifteen others bouncing off the walls, and multiplying very rapidly.

"This is gonna be a looong day…" Sam watched as three Jamies fell out of a window.

Sam made sure Jamie was semi-calm, and put him in Hank's van. 'Let them deal with 'im…Ah've had him for almost this entire trip! Enough's nuff!' Sam climbed into a separate van, his conscious clear, and fell asleep.

"Are we there yet? I wanna stop! Oooh! Look! Ice cream! Let's stop! C'mon!! Awww! You guys are always treating me like a little kid!" Jamie alternated between being all happy and over cheerful to being a whiny midget. Ray groaned.

"If it'll shut him up, get him the goddamn ice cream!!" He scratched the stings on his arm. Tabitha slapped his hand away.

"They're already infected dumb ass! Keep scratchin' and they'll get all pus-y."

"Pus-y isn't a word!" Roberto pointed out.

"It is so!" Tabitha countered.

"Since when?"

"Since this morning when I made it up!"

"That doesn't make it a word!"

"Shut up already!!" Pietro tried to run around the van to let off steam, but knocked his head on the roof, and fell unconscious.

"I think he died!" One of the now three Jamies said loudly.

"Pull over…please…for the sake of our sanity!" Kurt begged Hank, who turned into the nearest parking place.

"Where are we?" Amara asked, looking around at the unfamiliar landscape.

"Hull…Quebec…We'll be crossing the river to get to Ottawa, Canada's capital shortly." Hank massaged his temples with two giant forefingers. 'Why did I ever suggest this trip to the professor?' He wondered as Jamie rushed to get an ice cream.

"What is that?" Kitty asked looking at the thing Jamie held in his hands.

"They said it was tire." Jamie happily licked away at the sugared treat.

"It looks like…frozen syrup!" At the word 'syrup', Sam and Bobby both jumped behind Logan. Rahne just shook her head. Jamie was making a huge mess, and getting even more hyper by the minute. If that was even possible.

"Please, students, we're about to enter the parliament building of Canada. A little more respect if you will." Storm slipped away, muttering again about obtaining more C-4. Logan and Sabretooth looked at each other, and ran. Hank grabbed on to Remy and John before they could perform a similar feat.

"You two could use with a little education. C'mon!" Holding the pair by their collars, Hank dragged them up the steps. John whimpered, and Remy nodded.

"Glad we got outta that one." Logan growled. Sabretooth grunted in response.

"Wanna get a drink?"

"Sure."

"You two! Right there! Yes! YOU! STOP THIS MOMENT!!" Logan and Sabretooth froze in mid-step. "Perfect! Absolutely perfect!" A little man with a paunch came running up to them. "You two are exactly the people I need! Can you act? I t doesn't matter! Come with me!" The little man strode off. Logan and Sabretooth were left staring at is retreating back. "Well? Are you coming or not?" The two large and overly-hairy men followed.

The little man led them to a giant warehouse. Staring upwards, Sabretooth wasn't paying attention to where he was walking, and walked into the corrugated steel wall. Logan poked at the Sabretooth shaped dent.

"The door is over here eh? Move it! Hustle! On the double!" Logan followed. And was amazed to see an outdoors created inside the indoor warehouse.

"What the hell?" Sabretooth asked, after finding the door.

"Gentlemen, welcome to the set of the _Red Green Show_!"

"The what what show?" Logan asked, tearing his eyes of the scenery.

"Isn't it a little early for Christmas?" The little man sighed.

"Just follow me…know, you two don't need make-up, and you won't have any lines, so we'll take you directly to Red Green himself." Logan and Sabretooth were led to an area behind a number of cameras, all focused on a single man. He had a bushy grey beard, a little cap, and suspenders. One suspender was red, and the other was green. Then there were the mandatory flannel shirt and giant mud-boots.

"And remember, if you can't be handsome, be handy!" A music track played, and the man stepped over towards the little man.

"What's up Jeb?" Suspenders took a swig of water. 

"I have found for you, two wild men!" Jeb proudly displayed Logan and Sabretooth.

"Ohhh…" Suspenders began to look Logan and Sabretooth down, and up, and walked around them.

"You got a problem, bub?" Logan released his claws.

"Holy shit they're mutants eh!" Suspenders jumped back.

"Doesn't that make 'em all the more suitable for the role?" Jeb looked at suspenders with puppy-dog eyes. Or at least, the best puppy-dog eyes a slightly balding, short and paunchy man could give to another man.

"Well, yeah, I guess that would make 'em all the better. At least we don't need to give 'em any make-up. What is it you two can do anyway?" Suspender's voice was low, and sorta scratchy.

"Slice an' dice ya inta three hundred pieces if yeh don't tell me what it is yeh want with us." Logan growled. Sabretooth grunted in agreement. 

"Well, we want yeh to come into a scene with me, and I get to cover you with duct tape."

"Duct tape?" Logan's face went from rock hard anger to complete confusion. 

"So you two are mutants?" Suspenders asked, as Logan and Sabretooth walked into camera view.

"Last time I checked…"

"Well folks, you know the difference between Canadians and Americans when it comes to dealing with mutants. The Americans are gonna get all riled up, make a huge issue out of it, and us Canadians, well, we just don't give a damn. Now, you two want to help me in a little project of mine?" The prompter nodded his head vigorously.

"Maybe…" Sabretooth growled. 

"That's good enough, now, you stand over there, and you over there, and this…"

Sabretooth pulled duct tape from his hair. Logan and him kept walking away from the now sliced and diced studio.

"I will never EVER use duct tape in my life again…" He growled. There were bits and pieces stuck in his hair.

John yawned. The tour guide was going on about how important this wall molding was and what that carving meant. He noticed that the group was getting smaller every time they started walking again. When the last group left, consisting of Amara, Jamie, and Kitty, he joined them, leaving Piotr, Fred, Beast, Jean, Scott, and the Professor to enjoy the tour. John followed Kitty, and as the four turned the corner, they were greeted by a swarming mass of people.

"What in the name of holy hell is goin' on here?" Jamie asked. Kitty gave him a stern look.

"Just grab on everybody, I'll get us through." Kitty grabbed Jamie and Amara's arms, while John grabbed her shoulder and smiled in what he hoped was a winning way. Kitty gave him a look, and began to walk through the crowd. Literally. Eventually, the four mutants reached a relatively small clearing, and stopped for a short rest. A pair of double doors opening immediately hit them. Jamie quickly filled the small space with clones.

"'Ey! What is eah ah blocking the door?" Kitty looked up, and saw an man who only had half his mouth working.

"Um, sorry sir, we'll like get out of your way!" Kitty scrambled to her feet.

"Wait just ah one minute! Are you all a uh mutants?"

"Umm…" Amara began to stumble over words, repeatedly.

"You see sir…" Three Jamies began at the same time.

"Yeah see mate, they're muties from south o' the border. Care to enlighten these poor Americans as to who you are?" John was the first and only one to actually say anything coherent.

The man puffed his chest out. Or, at least, the best that he could puff it out to. "You don't know the eh uh Prime Minister of uh Canada?" Kitty's eyes went wide, while Jamie and Amara's faces remained blank.

"He's their president!" She exclaimed. Realization dawned on Amara and Jamie. John was already shaking hands with him.

"Congratulations! Now, tell 'em your name mate." Jamie and Amara got to their feet, and lined up to shake hands with the PM.

In another area of the Parliamentary building, the mutants who had escaped the tour guide's clutches, were wandering rather aimlessly.

"How do we get the hell outta here?" Rogue wondered, looking upwards at the giant dome.

"Through the doors." Wanda replied absent-mindedly while hexing Todd.

"Which set?" Bobby scanned the room, amazed at the number of people and doors there were.

"Excuse me my good friends, are you Americans?" An obnoxious sounding man asked. He was followed by a cameraman.

"Yeah, why?" Evan looked at the camera.

"Not all of us are!" Kurt protested.

"Aye, ye dinnae ferget tha' many o' us are not from the States noaw, did ye lad?" Rahne piped up.

"Riight, anyway, my name's Rick Mercer, and I'm doing a segment for This Hour has 22 Minutes called Talking to Americans. Now, do any of you know the tune for the Canadian National Anthem?" The mutants began to hum various songs. Bobby hummed a fiddle song, Jubilee hummed God Save the Queen, and Remy…he hummed 'My Heart Will Go On' from _Titanic_. "I'll take that as a no…I just so happen to have a tape player and a version of the music, but I'll need your help. I have a copy of the lyrics, and would you all be so kind to sing them? I'll play the tune once, and then you can start singing." Rick Mercer gave the group of sixteen a scrap of paper. He played the tape once, and then started it again, the mutants began to sing in a disjointed manner.

"O Canada,

A great big empty land!"

"Sing it loud, and sing it proud guys!" Rick egged them on.

"We look to America!

For a helping hand!"

"You're doin' great!"

"With bannock bread,

And caribou eggs,

And true North big and cold!"

"You're in the Parliament building!! Louder!!"

"O Canada,

We are on top!

We're close to,

The North pole!

Fermez la bouche!

Mangez poutine!"

"What's poutine again?" Sam whispered to Kurt.

"It's fries covered vith gravy and cheese, now get back to singing!" Kurt hissed.

"O Canada!

A lovely winter dream!

O Canada!

La, la, la, la, la, la!"

"Thank-you folks, you've been absolutely wonderful! Now, I have a few other questions that I'd like you to answer…"

"That dinnea seem like the National anthem…" Rahne said…somewhat confused.

"Yes, I was wondering, since you've all been in Canada, have you had the chance to try our national dish?"

"Poutine?" Kurt perked up at the thought of poutine.

"No, it's meatballs, but they're made out of beaver."

"Um…I don't think so…" Tabby said.

"Really? They're called beaver balls, and are quite good."

"Umm…no, we haven't had any…beaver balls…"

"Order some the next time you're at a restaurant. Tell them Rick Mercer recommended them." The group nodded their heads, and Rick Mercer and his cameraman walked quickly away. They returned to the problem of the doors. And encountered a small group of three girls, with a large sack, and they were arguing.

"There aren't any episodes here!" The first girl was shouting. She had a tattoo on her forehead.

"Maybe we can steal some official stationary and send it to Marvel, say it's the PM, and he's ordering that there be a fifth season…" The second girl argued conspiratorially…

The third was sitting, and digging random objects out of the sack. Including, but not limited to numerous baseballs, an old maid's outfit, and a rabbit that looked like it was high on crack. (AN: GO RABID!! I finally worked 'em in Panther! I feel so proud…and I haven't a clue where ish went…)

"Let's just blame her…" Tattoo Girl said, pointing at the one digging through the sack…

"Ummm…do you know the way out of here?" Roberto asked, approaching the three, and possibly all the more frightened that he'd been pushed toward them. They didn't answer, but looked at Roberto, and began to give chase.

"RUN!!!" He screamed, making a bee-line for the nearest set of doors. The rest followed. Roberto shut and locked the doors behind them.

"Where are we?" Lance asked.

"In the dark yo." Half the group rolled their eyes, but no one could tell who did, because it was dark, and for that matter, only the people who rolled their eyes knew that their eyes were rolling. Except for Kurt. His eyes were glowing in the dark. And they were rolling.

"Kurt…what's with your eyes?" Ray asked…mesmerized by the rolling of the glowing…which was the only visible light in the room.

"Um…Vas is wrong with mein eyes?"

"They're glowin' dude…" Evan stared, also mesmerized.

"They are? Quick! I need a mirror!!" Kurt bamfed out of the room…and Wanda found a light.

"Oh joy…we're locked in a janitor's closet…" Rogue said dryly.

"Locked in…" Sam jiggled the handle. Everyone glared at Roberto.

"So…where is everyone?" Hank asked, looking around. Kitty, Jamie, Kurt, John and Amara were there, along with Pietro, and those who had not gone on the tour in the first place, or had stayed with the tour guide.

"Umm…We don't know…" John shrugged his shoulders in agreement with Amara. Jamie was too busy running circles around the vans. And jeep.

"Kurt?" Xavier asked.

"Last I saw 'em…ve vere running into a room…a dark room." Just that moment, a large series of bangs emanated from within the building, and Sam came crashing out the doors, rolled down the steps, and landed upside down, his feet against Hank.

"Hey! Ah found a way out!"

"And we're all happy fer ya." Rogue replied, in a dour voice. "Fer the las' time Swamp Rat, NO!"

"C'mon chere! Be a sport!" The rest of the group giggled as Remy continued his attempts to hit on Rogue. Except Bobby and Jubilee, they were at the back of the group, and quite happy that way. And Todd…who was too hexed out to continue hitting on Wanda.

"I don't think I want to know what happened…" Xavier said, looking at the motley group…from Logan and Sabretooth, who still had duct tape stuck to them, to Storm…with the maniacal look on her face, and she was still mumbling something about malls, to the younger students, who were dusty, and all on the verge of killing Roberto.

"No, I don't think either of us do…let's just keep moving on to Toronto…" Hank replied.

~~~~Wander~~~~

Mystique took the lead, and was trudging through the forest. Magneto was slightly behind her, and was on a leash, still mourning the loss of his bucket and cape.

"Where the hell are they?!?" Mystique growled. Magneto just whimpered. Mystique came to a sudden halt at a river. There was a very large pile of wood in the middle of the stream. And a brown furry creature standing immediately in front of her.

"Go 'way!" She shoved the furry creature, and was bit by four very long and yellow incisors. The furry creature began to growl.

"Nice kitty…Nice Sabretooth…" Magneto was frightened, and tried to speak softly to the furry thing. "I'm…sorry?"

AN: It's shorter than usual, and took me a week and a day to finish…oy. The chapter wrote itself mostly, but I needed to supervise it…anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm off to…do something else…actually, I'm gonna try mein hand at creating a music video…with downloaded software…feel free to laugh at mein stupidity now. Adios, till next time.


	16. A Short Story about a Long Drop

AN: Bwah…Gahh…fergot to print out reviews…so expect responses at the end of chapter…sorry bout that…don't have much to say…well…mebbe…

DISCLAIMER: I think I know what you think I know what I think you know what you think I know what I think you know you what I think I know.

"Wow…dat's a lotta water…" Remy stared at the vast expanse of the falls.

"Is this Niagara?" Ray asked, rather stupidly.

"Nah, this be the Horseshoe Falls eh. Niagara's on the American side…an' it's smaller."

"Toad!! Pyro!! Get yer asses over here!! Your missin' out on a huge water faucet!!" Tabby yelled, as the two hydrophobes stood far away. They shook their heads violently, and John returned his attention to the small Zippo he had found lying on the ground. In several pieces.

"Fire to Ashes, Ashes to Dust, from the ground thee came, and from the ground thee shall return." John pushed the dirt back over the shallow grave, and covered the irreparable Zippo.

"You're obsessed yo!" Todd said after witnessing the quiet ceremony, and returned his attention to stealing from the passer-bys.

"Hey buddy, you seem like the type willin' to do anything to make a few bucks…" Todd turned to see a guy wearing a hooding whispering to him.

"Just about…I won't take a bath though yo!"

"That's fine, I just want you to sit in this barrel for a few minutes, and then I'll give you fifty bucks."

"Fifty bucks to sit in a barrel?!? You got yerself a deal!" Todd shook hands, and followed the guy to a barrel. John followed, mostly out of respect for the poor dead Zippo.

"So yer gonna sit in a barrel for 50 bucks mate?"

"Yup, hey, can't be too hard? Can it?"

"Would you get your Aussie buddy to sit in this barrel? I'll give him fifty bucks too…" Todd looked at St John with his best puppy dog eyes…which were…frightening…But John nodded his assent, and the two climbed into the barrels.

"Wow…it's…breathtaking…" Jean just stared at all the water.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" Jamie whined to no one in particular. "All this water is giving me the need to pee!!"

"You too? C'mon, let's go midget." Lance led Jamie away, and the two went in search of a bathroom.

"What a spectacular sight! It's no wonder that these falls are considered one of the seven wonders of the natural world…Gambit!! Can't you see that sign?!? No smoking!!" Beast was distracted by his nature induced reverie for a moment to chide Remy.

"It's not like Gambit can light up! Dere's too much water fallin' on 'is 'ead!" Remy protested.

"What's that?" Logan asked, spotting something in the middle of the river, being quickly pulled towards the falls.

"Probably just a dead branch…" Kitty replied, staring at the falls. "KURT!! GET BACK HERE!!" She shouted when the 'Crawler ported to a spot in the middle of the waterfall. He ported back, landing right next to her, soaking wet…and smelling like a wet dog…looking like a drowned rat.

Beast shook his head, but instead of returning his gaze to the enormous amounts of water falling off the edge of the falls, he looked at the object Logan had spotted earlier. Squinting, Beast could make out two separate objects, and there seemed to be moving.

"Scott," Beast approached the boy in shades while he was over at one of the viewing scopes. "Would you look over there?" Scott, being the little good boy that he is, took the binoculars off of Jean, and pointed them towards the river.

"Oh my God!! Todd's about to get the first bath of his life!!" The two small objects finally were close enough to be seen clearly, and they were barrels. With two figures on top of them. Fighting. John was trying to use Todd's tongue to paddle back  upriver, while Todd was trying to demolish John's barrel for the same purpose. The large tour group watched with glee as Todd got the ultimate bath.

"It w-w-was s-s-so c-c-cold!" John said, as he shirvered underneath a blanket in the backseat of one of the vans. "A-a-and s-s-so wet!"

"Ummm…where are we now?" Scott asked. "Are we in Toronto?" Jean replied by pulling over, and asking for directions!

"No, miss, yer not in the Center of the Universe…Thank the fates, yer on the outskirts of Summerfolk. They're just getting ready for a huge music concert they hold about every year right about now eh. If you just follow this road, you'll get there in plenty of time eh." The owner of the gas station replied in response to Jean's query.

"Thank-you very much!" She pulled her head back into the van. "See? It isn't that difficult now, is it?" She smirked in Scott's direction, who curled up into a tiny little ball.

"So…where are we again?" Evan asked.

"Getting ready for a concert!! Which means tons of music and all sorts of good stuff! Wooo hooo!" Tabby began to dance wildly, while many of the other teens joined her. 

"Wheee. Great. Another concert where Ah can go all crazy at." Rogue waved her finger in a circle.

"Anyone seen the Professor?" Scott asked suddenly.

"Uh, yeah, he was renting a car, and telling me not to…oops…" Fred trailed off.

"Nice going genius." Pietro tried to hit Fred over the head, but was stopped by Wanda, who held his feet to the ground, for no reason in particular.

"C'mon!! It'll be fun!! Wait…are you sayin' we lost a chaperone?!?" Tabby stopped in mid-sentence, and huge cheers erupted. Hank sighed. He was doomed.

"PARTAY!!" Kurt shouted, and began to dance his awful dance.

"GAAH!!" The music that came out of the speakers could only be described one way. Folk. And it was driving the temporary mutant population of Summerfolk crazy.

"It'll be fun she says! It'll be great times and music she says! TABITHA!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Wanda uncovered her ears, and began to hex her way through the crowd to get to Tabby. The crowd parted in a manner similar to butter, while Tabby had to fight for every centimeter that she gained. So she did the most illogical thing. She began to throw boomers everywhere. The crowd was dispersed in a matter of minutes, leaving no place for Tabby to hide from the wrath of Wanda. Anad Amara and Jean for singing their hair…and Kitty for singing her clothes. All four were out for her blood, so the guys, Rahne, and Jubilee did the most logical thing. They picked up several abandoned chairs, sat down, and enjoyed the show. Storm had disappeared again, but no one had really noticed as she's such a background character that the only way that she could draw attention to herself would be to have a secret affair with Sabretooth.

            ~Wander~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(AN: I Think I'm going to have far more fun with Mags and Mystique this chap…*evil grin smiley*)

Mystique trudged through the forest, Magneto once again behind her and complaining about his bucket. Also behind Mystique was the beaver, who Magneto had named Chucky, and a moose, which Magneto had named Magnus. Magnus the Moose and Chucky the Beaver were having a grand old time following the two mutants around in the woods. They knew exactly where they were. Mystique on the other hand…

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!? AND DON'T YOU DARE EVEN **THINK **ABOUT SAYING CANADA!!!"

"Why think when I can be haaaaaapy!" Magneto replied dreamily. He took another drag on what looked like a cigarette.

"What's that?!?" Mystique demanded.

"Medicinal marijuana! It really helps prevent that no good goody-goody from reading my mind!"

"Where'd you get it?" Mystique asked cautiously, slipping into principal mode and treating Magneto exactly as she would have treated a student had she caught them smoking an illegal substance.

"There was a guy at a gas station a little while back, he was givin' it out for free…haaaaaaapy thoughts!!" Magnus the Moose and Chucky the Beaver snorted/sighed in agreement with Magneto. 

Mystique sat down, and put her head in her hands. "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Well…You killed all those people…dumped your son in  a river after allowing me to experiment on him…you-"

"SHUT UP MAGNETO!! I'm trying to think!!" Mystique sighed " If only Logan was here…he'd take me up in his great big strong arms…and hold on to me until I felt better…I know he would…and I'm sure wherever he is now, he's thinking of me and hoping he'll get to see me again. I just know it!!"

Magneto's 'happiness' had worn off during Mystiques little angsty time alone, and he fell over snickering. "Logan?!? I always thought'd it'd be creed!! What a pler  your are Mystique!!"

"At least I haven't father so many damn kids I can't remember them all!!" The pair continued to walk deeper into the forest, and further north.

~~~~~~Wander~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Xavier sat in his shiny new convertible, and sped around, allowing the wind to flow through the thick, luscious hair his companion had.

AN: Damn short chapter, I know, but that's it…they're exiting Ontairio soon…wow…I might finish this in 10 or less chapters!! Anyway…reviews!! So many!! I feel so loved!!

psychobunny410 - I updated, but it's late, and I'm too tired to add any more funny…Red Green is a great show…

Panther Nesmith – YEAH!! RABID!! WOOO!! And I'm gonna try and get 'em another cameo…but like I said…too sleepy to think properly at the moment…

scrawler – What happened to Kurt's eyes? The all powerful literary authoress decided to replace them with little blinkie lightbulbs for dramatic purposes…now he gets mad cuz he walks into walls…

Jassie – Glad you liked Creepin' Cretin! I tried to imitate his news interviews, and that was the result…I remember that Rick Mercer ep!! It was greatness…and update is…NOW! ^_^'…

Millenium Mutant – They were glowin' cuz I decided that they were gonna glow…

Risty – BEAVERS ARE NOT SMALL!! They weigh the same as a small child!! But yeah…shows ya just how tough Canadians are! A group of Canadians didn't know the national anthem?!? Of Canada? Or America? US anthem is understandable…for years I thought the American anthem was God Bless America…they have to many damn patriotic songs…and we still had an anthem long before they did!!

Shawshank – Being not picky and specific would not be you. The three girls were part of an elitest group known as RABID…go read Panther Nesmith's SouS series fur more info…

Freakish Fangirl – Staplers are still illegal where I live! ^_~ I like Freakish Fangirl…heh…and you're welcome fur the tire!

Appin Took – Rick Mercer actually got dozens of Americans to sing that…it's funny…in a sad sort of way…

rogueandkurt – The Gillises are your kin too?!? Mein mother's side are Gillises!! The Eastern Canadian variety!! I stuck 'em in there cuz they are Eastern Canadian!! Glad you liked!

Taineyah – sorry fur the poor management of the Summerfolk chapter…perhaps our wayward mutants will be there fur another day…_ _

Millenium Mutant – It was indeed real syrup!! No fakey stuff when you live in southern Ontario and Quebec!! That's where all the maple trees are!! Heh heh…you're dad made the koo koo sign!! Mein family's given up on that…otherwise they'd be going 24/7. And no worries about Storm…she's actually been leaving a trail of destruction…but she's gonna hit the mother of 'em all…later…:)

daynon – I am, you know I am, I am , Canadian! Here's your more!

Vinter – GAAH!! CURSED WRITER'S BLOCK!! EVIL THING!! BE GONE!! *digs in bag o' tricks for something to destroy Writer's Block* This may take a while…

Personage – I celebrated Thanksgiving two weeks ago…wait…that was when I last updated too…wasn't it…*slaps forehead*

Adios till next time!! Hey! Look!! Mein Author's Notes are actually short!! Mebbe it's cuz the chapter is too…_


	17. A Pile of Canadian Insider Jokes

AN: WOW!! I was on something when I wrote that last chapter!! So many errors!! And I can't remember writing half of it!! Lor'…I may need help…this fic is affecting mein brain…

Scrawler – Wet Kurt is smelly…as our mutants will discover in this chapter…I feel somewhat sorry for the dynamic duo…and their entourage of Chucky and Magnus…

Vinter – Glad you liked!! A bag o' tricks is indeed very handy! If sometimes disturbing…O_o

Beck2 – You know, I haven't a clue…that was one of the parts I couldn't remember writing…

psychobunny410 - You'll all probably know long before I will…

Risty – I am disappointed in them…Yes, Mystique has trouble with her kids…but Mags is still a major playa! Have a deckchair. *passes psychobunny a deckchair* Enjoy the show!

Panther Nesmith – writer's block? What writer's block? We shall never speak of that…incident…again. Glad you liked Mystique and Mags!

Jassie – Emphasis on the little…for sure…John and Todd…inspired by mein wonderful news reports…and a sad sad experience at the bus stop…with a zippo…*sniffle* Drugs are bad…yes…but I may have been on some last week…

rogueandkurt – You shall see all but the CN Tower…I cannot inflict that torture upon our mutant freunds…

Millenium Mutant – heh heh…stupid fakey maple syrup…that, mein freund, is why I no longer pour syrup upon mein pancakes unless it comes from a freund in Ontario. ^_^ Poor poor Lockheed…I pity him…

Freakish Fangirl – GET A SCANNER!! Mein art is incredibly bad, and yet, I have scanner…something is very wrong with the world…

Shawshank – I was working on that, but I got distracted…to say the least. Ja. Ummm…beside Wanda and Pietro? I don't know, just…ja…I was out of it…I'm infectious, nein?

Personage – Heh heh…don't worry…it would have taken me years longer…

Appin Took - *GASP* Glad you like! *eyes bug out in effort to breathe*

Taineyah – Arrogant Worms? Heh, sorry, but I checked the site, and as I was breezing through quickly, I may have missed some stuff. Shiny…

The Resident Psychopath – Pyro is a perennial fav of all…Canadian goodyness will continue! ^_^

sir crazy gurl – after receiving both of your reviews, I was happy! Whale watching? Something to do in BC! Other than pay taxes…I'm biased, yes I am. Gambit in the haunted house came from…I dunno. Applause! YAY!! *happy grin of delirium* fudge ist gut…and Dinosaurs? Drumheller rulz.

Gambit99810 – Glad you think it's original! I thought of it just before mein family dragged me on a trip to Las Vegas…in the summer…gwah. 

Ja, wow…people actually liked the chapter…yet…it's a mess…meh…well…I'm gonna be in Ontario fur a bit, and then need to move on…Ontario's enjoyed more chapters than any other province…excepting Alberta…lor'…I've got three different things to do there now!! Oooh, guess what! Song fic time!! ^_^

DISCLAIMER: A human being should be able to heal a wound, plan an expedition, order from a French menu, climb a mountain face, enjoy a ballet, balance accounts, roll a kayak, embolden a friend, tell a joke, laugh at himself, cooperate, act alone, sing a children's song, solve equations, throw a dog a stick, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, love heartily, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. 

-Lew Hitchner

(Note to all, if you are Canadian, you can truly appreciate these songs, and Tainz, I owe you!! Gotta love dem Arrogant Worms!!)

"Can we leave yet? Pleeease?" Kitty whined, as Hank calmly collected all of the keys to the vans. And Lance's jeep. And about as calmly as he could while being persuaded from all corners to let them leave.

"Now, I'm quite sure you can find at least one group here you can enjoy. I want you all to go find at least one, and when you get back, I want to hear what it was they were singing. Am I clear?" The mutants began to trudge away. "And no powers!!" Hank called at their retreating backs. "And now for a little downtime for yours truly…" he muttered to no one. Entering one of the vans, he leaned the seat back, propped his feet up, and fell asleep.

"Agggh!! These bands are all so annoying!!" Tabby held her hands to her head, as the fiddler on stage took his bow, and began to walk off. Despite Scott's attempts to split the group up, to find a single band they enjoyed, the group remained one single large blob. And then there was Fred tagging along. Some of the older group picked up their (damaged) deck chairs, and began to leave, as another band climbed up onto the stage. They groaned again as an acoustic began to play.

I hate the sky dome and the CN tower too

I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo

The rents too high, the airs unclean

The beaches are dirty, and the people are mean

And the women are big, and the men are dumb

And the children are loopy cause they live in a slum

The water is polluted and the mayors a dork

They dress real bad and they think they're New York

In Toronto, Ontario

"Toronto…weren't we supposed to go there?" Kurt looked at Jean, who glared at Scott, who shrugged helplessly and was silently wishing that Kitty would phase him into the ground…or that Lance would open the earth up…or that John would make him spontaneously combust.

You know, I think I hate all of Ontario

Oh ya me too

"Glad to see we're not alone yo." Todd said, leaning back.

I hate Thunderbay and Ottawa

Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa

London sucks, and the Great Lakes sucks

And Sarnia sucks, and Turkey Point sucks

I took a trip to Ontario, to see Brian in Sarnia

He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me on a tree

I went to see the Maple Leafs, and got hit in the head with a puck

I don't know even how they did it, i mean i was playing the organ at the time

"Hey…that reminds me…yeh still need to give me m' pants back mate!" Pyro was remembering Nova Scotia…painfully.

Ontario, sucks

Yup, actually you know nowI really think about it, i think i pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country

Well except Alberta

Ya, ya I love Alberta

It's very nice, lots of cows and trees and rocks and dirt

Moo moo moo 

but,

I hate Newfoundland cause they talk so weird

And Prince Edward Island is, too small

Nova Scotia's dumb cause its a name of a bank

New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall

Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad

Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks

Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer, isn't that dumb?

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old

And as for the territories they are too cold

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us

Cause Alberta, doesn't suck

but Calgary does

"Guess that means we should avoid Calgary." Ray said simply. "Alright! We have our band and song! Let's get outta here!"

"Ummm…we don't know the name of this band…" Rahne pointed out.

"Hey, buddy! What's this band called?" Bobby poked a deck-chaired denizen of the area. He was rewarded with shushes. The band was launching into its second song.

"Uh, this next song was actually inspired by a review that we got when we played the Edmonton Fringe Festival. we thought that it was a rather unique review, we were doing a political cabaret and uh, the critic for the Edmonton journal Complained that we had quote" to much Canadian content" Ok soo uh, we decided to write a song about that and it's called Forgive us we're Canadian."

"I forgive you!!" Some one shouted. Someone with a suspiciously German accent. "Was?" Kurt asked as half his team members stared at him.

We always say we're sorry we like to stand in line

And when you ask us how we're doing, we always say just fine!

Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

You too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

"What if I don't want to be Canadian?" Todd asked.

"Get outta here then Yank!" Some random crowd person replied.

We disagree on everything but we try to be polite

And we don't believe in violence, except on hockey night

We adopted European ways, replacing yards with meters

But we still must ask the question, how many miles in a liter

"Ummm…thirteen?" Bobby offered, and was whacked by Logan…who had appeared out of nowhere.

Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

you too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

We could take for hours on end about the constitution

Which is dry as toast but sure as heck beats war or revolutions

We don't much like to wave the flag we find patriotism shocking

So we celebrate on Canada day by going cross boarders shopping

"Shopping! Where?" Tabby and her mall rats glanced around the field, half-expecting a mall to pop up outta nowhere. 

Forgive us we're Canadian, we try hard to be nice

you too can be Canadian if you follow this advice

We know how to dress for winter, we're not afraid of snow

And we love our country quietly, and hope Quebec won't go

Forgive us we're Canadian, and some might think it's planned

But there's nowhere that we'd rather live....

That this vast and frozen land!

"But it's not cold here…" Pyro pointed out rather dumbly.

"That can be fixed…" Bobby iced up, receiving a few murmurs from the surrounding crowd, but didn't seem to bother any of them. He raised his arms, and was obviously ready to cover the entire field in frost, but Logan grabbed his arm, and Bobby powered down sheepishly. The band began to play yet again, and the mutants settled down to listen, as no one was exactly forth coming with an answer for who the band was.

"Oo come back proud Canadians before you had TV, no hockey night in Canada there was no CBC"

"OH MY GAWD!!" Some random spectator shouted, earning a laugh from the rest of the audience.

"In 1812 Madison was mad he was the president, you know, but he thought he tell the British where they ought to go, he thought he'd invade Canada, he thought that he was tough instead he went to Washington and burned down all his stuff!" The song started in earnest, and many of the American mutants had horrified looks on their faces.

"They burned Washington?" Jamie whispered to Pyro. Pyro responded with a maniacal laugh, and began to chant 'Fiiiireee…Fiirreee…buuurn'.

And the Whitehouse burned burned burned

And we're the ones that did it!

It burned burned burned

While the president ran and cried

It burned burned burned

And things were very historical

And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies

wa wa waaaa

in the War of 1812

"There was never a war in 1812!" Kitty scoffed.

"Ye might wan' t' rethink tha' position Kit…" Rahne warned.

Now hillbillies from Kentucky

"Hey!! Ah resent that!" Sam cried.

Dressed in green and red

"But Sam's in blue and black…" Fred was now very confused.

Left home to fight in Canada

But they returned home dead

Its only war the Yankees lost

Except for Vietnam

And also the Alamo

And the bay of... ham

"Well…nobody's perfect!" Evan grouched.

The loser was America

The winner was ourselves

So join right in and gloat about

The War of 1812

And the Whitehouse burned burned burned

And we're the ones that did it

It burned burned burned

While the president ran and cried

It burned burned burned

And things were very historical

And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies

Wa wa waaaa

In the War of 1812

In 1812 we were just sittin' around

Mindin' our own business

"Yeah right…they probably started it…" Ray muttered, and was immediately faced with an angry mob. "Ummm…Sorry?"

Puttin' crops into the ground

We heard the soldiers coming

And we didn't like that sound

So we took a boat to Washington

And burned it to the ground

"Well…we rebuilt it didn't we?" Lance tried lamely.

"Yeah, but the fact it **was** burnt down is enough." Roberto teased.

Oh, oh...

We burned our guns

But the Yankees kept on coming

There wasn't quite as many

As there was a while ago

We fired once more

And the Yankees started runnin

Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

They ran through the snow 

And they ran through the forest

They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn't go

They ran so fast that they forgot to take their culture

Back to America, gulf, and Texico

"Where's Texico?" Amara wondered.

So, if you go to Washington, its buildings clean and nice,

Bring a pack of matches, and we'll burn the White House twice!

"I will mate…I will indeed." Pyro saluted.

And the Whitehouse burned burned burned

But the Americans won't admit it

It burned, burned, burned,

It burned and burned and burned

It burned, burned, burned,

Now, I bet that made them mad

And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies

Waa waa waah!

In the War of 1812!

"Ladies and gentlemen!! Give it up for the Arrogant Worms!!" Thunderous applause followed, and the mutants made a quick getaway.

"Is he asleep?" Kitty tapped the van window.

"Um…ja. It certainly looks it…" Kurt tapped the windshield. "Hallo in there! Wakey time!! Give keys to Kurt time!!" Hank remained oblivious to all.

"Is there some sort of problem?" The mutants all jumped, including Logan and Sabretooth, who then glared at each other.

"Professor?" (AN: Yes, he's back…he decided to take a very short vacation away from his vacation…)

"Got it open!" Remy suddenly called from the other side of the van. Looking up, he saw Xavier, and hurriedly hid his ever so dandy lock-picking tools. Xavier sighed.

"Kitty, please phase through and take the keys from Mr. McCoy. Will the rest of you please search for Ororo?" The mutants made a mad dash, and were stopped by Logan and Sabretooth.

"You lot stay here, we'll find Ororo." Logan growled.

"Glory hog." Pietro muttered, earning a glare from Wanda.

"KURT!! You stink!!" Amara shouted.

"Yeah, you do Blue." Tabitha added, and was pelted with several dozen take-out food cartons.

"Ummm…sorry…but wet fur does tend to smell…"

"But you're not wet anymore…" Jamie pointed out from his rather cramped position under Hank's leaned back seat.

"Fine!! When fur dries, it smells! And I got wet at Niagara! Happy?" The angry blue elf took his eyes off the road. The van screamed. Kurt swerved to avoid the oncoming traffic.

"Horseshoe…" Ray began to correct Kurt…but Kurt began to turn again. "Shutting up."

"Gah! We need to give you a good bath Blue." More empty food cartons were thrown at Tabitha. Hank suddenly yawned, and stretched.

"Yeeaaaaah!!! Hrrmm? What's this? Where are we? And what's that smell?"

"EVERYBODY!! ASSUME CRASH POSITIONS!!" Tabitha shouted. All but Jamie, Kurt, and Hank leaned on the seat in front of them, the crash positions very similar to those on an airplane. Jamie was too scrunched up to do anything other than tremble in fear.

"ENOUGH ABOUT THE VET FUR!! I VOULD THINK THAT YOU AS A FELLOW FURRY FREAK WOULD UNDERSTAND, BUT NOOO!! FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS 'WAS IS THAT SMELL?' I'LL SHOW YOU THAT SMELL!!" Kurt began to swerve wildly, while Hank held on to the dashboard for dear life.

"I'm sorry?" He managed to squeak out between clenched teeth.

"What made him break?" Amara whispered between wildly sliding about.

"I think it was the two straight meals of drive-in food." Roberto answered.

"So…where are we headed?" Scott asked, once again bewildered by the map.

"Winnipeg." Xavier replied.

"Ummm…okay…" Scott struggled to fold up the McDonald's map he held in his lap. (AN: And I had an amazing time trying to type the word struggled…) Jean shook her head, and folded the map perfectly in two while never taking her eyes off the road. Scott spent three minutes staring with little hearts in his eyes (Hidden of course) at Jean. He took out the next map.

"Hmmm…two eights." Kitty put down the cards.

"Cheat!" Bobby shouted. Kitty flipped the cards, revealing only two eights. She then handed Bobby the rather large pile. "Dammit."

"Language Mr. Drake…" Xavier admonished. Kitty smirked, and slipped the five of clubs back into her hand with no one noticing.

"What's th' count now?" Rogue asked in her southern drawl.

"22 ditches cherie." Rogue scowled. She wasn't the Swamp Rat's cherie, and at this rate…her guess of 72 ditches would be far outpaced with Logan and Ororo both fighting over the wheel of the van.

"What about types of fields?" Evan asked suddenly. "We've hit a cornfield, wheat, barley, and whatever the hell type of grain this is…" Evan held up the stalk of grain that had befuddled the entire van.

"EVAN!" Ororo yelled, and gave Logan an extra shove.

"Who's bettin' on Logan again?" Sabretooth asked, leaning back in his seat, chewing on a stalk of wheat.

"Wanda, Remy, and ye. Everyone else thinks she can take 'im to town." Rahne replied, not even looking up from her ledger where she kept track of all the bets.

"We shall see. We shall see." Wanda leaned back, mentally calculating some odds.

CHAPTER END!!

Gwaah…too sick to do anything but pos this now…room still spinnying…gwaah *is feeling very sick indeed* Anyway, alright…they be on the way to Manitoba…and I forgot Mags and Mystique this chap, but I have plans fur 'em. Hopefully I'll feel better later, and write a proper chapter. I  feel like I've gypped you all these past two chaps…


	18. Some Very Odd Contests

Well…I feel no better, but since I didn't go to school today…(let's just say an unpleasant experience this morning) I'm typing up another chapter. Let's hope it satisfies. And three cheers for two updates in two days!

Risty- Useless facts are greatness!! Yay fur useless facts!! You enjoyed the song fic? You enjoyed MY songfic? *falls over* I…feel…honored…as fur the jokes, no worries, even I don't always get all the jokes…but a lot of what the Worms sing is poking fun. Meh.

Taineyah – The Logan-Storm thing came to me outta nowhere, but glad you likeyed.

Jassie – I must be one of the few who never heard of the Worms before Tainz recommended 'em to me…updates are always gut. The lynch mob…heh heh…I had half a  mind to let 'em disembowel Ray…but then this wouldn't be rated…whatever it's rated…And Pyro and I are…very similar…And poor Prof…I couldn't think about what the fudge I was gonna do with him and his companion…so…improvisation!

Millenium mutant – I'm glad you don't think I've gypped you…I still feel like I have though…

The RP – I hope I feel better too…and glad you like the chapter and songs!

psychobunny410 -  Ummm…no…I didn't! I know the Hart family is from Canada…but that's the extent of mein wrestling knowledge…

rogueandkurt – You return!! Repeat reviewers are always welcome. ^_^ Umm…Sarnia…I shall remember never again to bash Sarnia…but they bashed Calgary too…that irks me…really irks me…

Freakish Fangirl – Winterpeg!! Wheee hee hee hee!! Actullay…wile I'd love to put 'em there smack dab in the middle of winter…but wait…I did say no particular timeline…*evil smile* X2 is out!! WOOOO!! I waaaant it!! I really waaaant it! But I'm tapped fur cash, so onto mein Christmas list it goes…*sniffle* I only got to see it once…AND JAMIE'S NAME MADE A CAMEO!! Yes, the Institute scenes were filmed in Vancouver…*would love to be an extra…absolutely love it* I think they were…

animeluvr1 – I thought you knew I'd updated!! Ooops…I'll tell you about this update…but generally…it's an every other week thing…Hockey!! GWAAAH!! SO MUCH TO DO IN ALBERIA!! I do indeed wonder why…but then…I like Evan, so perhaps I shouldn't talk…and they make vehicles fur paralyzed peeps, I know cuz there's a guy who works with mein mom and he drives, (he's a paraplegic) and Rick Mercer is a real person! He's real I say! Real!!

sir crazy gurl – Drumheller's awesome…and I've got fossils in mein basement! Ammonites of course, but still!! Fossils!!If you succeed, please make sure Evo gets a fifth season…

Panther – heh heh…I always go overboard with Canadian cracks…cuz I can and it's fun! ^_^ Anarchy is fun…and anarchy is an awesomness word!! Anarchy…heh heh. Well…there's somethin' goin' round…stupid bug…*grumbles* I call it Spinny Room Sickness!

Shawshank – Hmmm…mixed reviews. They made it to Manitoba…and beyond! BWAH HA HA!! And yes…the Arrogant Worms are awesomness…gotta love 'em. George Dubya might be able to learn a few things…

Gwaaah…meh…Chapter…time…must live to…finish…must start  in order to…finish…gwaah…

"It's s-s-so d-d-damn c-c-cold!!" Jubilee shivered.

"No it's not." Bobby stood, quite comfortable iced up.

"Speak f-f-for yourself P-p-popsic-c-cle!" Kitty would have hit Bobby, but that meant pulling one of her arms free, and losing valuable body heat.

"It's quite warm over here." Amara stood, in all her molten glory.

"Move over!" Ray jostled Sam and Lance to get closer to Amara.

"It is not at all cold little ones." Piotr said, obviously quite accustomed to the fifteen degrees Celsius.

"I can fix this!" Pyro flicked his lighter, and before long there was a giant bonfire. The mutants all huddled around it.

"I'm meeellltiiing!! I'm meeeeltiiiiing!!" Bobby began to create a small puddle.

Two nearby campers shook their heads. Roasting marshmallows over their modest campfire, they were quietly observing the small group.

"Poor Yanks. They never know what to expect, eh?"

"Too true. They should know that they're not in Kansas any more!" Her companion slapped at a mosquito on her bare arm. "Should we point 'em towards the city?"

"Be the nice thing t' do."

"So I guess the question becomes…are we nice, eh?"

"Who are y' kiddin'? We're Canadian! Course we're nice!"

"I dunno, I've seen some pretty mean right hooks comin' from Canadians…"

"Not from either of us, let's at least offer 'em some marshmallows, eh?"

"Give 'em the directions. Ruther give 'em those then the marshmallows." With that, the two campers got off their logs, and approached the mutants.

"If y' be wantin' t' get t' Winnipeg, it's in that direction, eh?"

"Oh…umm…Thanks…" Scott looked sheepishly at Jean, who glared.

"I told you we were supposed to be heading west!!" Jean stormed back into the van, and the other mutants were not far behind her.

"Didja get 'em Swamp Rat?" Remy nodded, happily, and tossed the bag of marshmallows he'd filched from the two campers towards Rogue, Rahne, and Wanda. Evan made a grab for several, and was immediately hexed.

"Stay outta dere way mon ami. A good lesson, never get between a femme and her sugar." Evan nodded best he could, stuck under the seat as he was.

"Aren't ya gonna help me get out?" He asked, as it was very uncomfortable.

"Mebbe after they've forgiven y' y'r slight."

"This, is Winnipeg?!?" Tabitha looked slightly disappointed by the apparent lack of obvious shopping malls.

"It is only a short stop-over on our way to Regina." Xavier was examining a map that was spread before him. The male portion of the mutants sniggered. (AN: They are very very immature…to say the least) "Is there something wrong boys?" They shook their heads. "As I said, as soon as a route is found, we shall be on our way to Regina-" More sniggering. "On our way to Regina and-" The boys burst out laughing. Except for Jamie.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I too would like to be let in on the joke." Xavier examined his class critically. The male half were busting their guts, while the female portion seemed poised to join them. Or strangle them. Or both.

"I-i-it's nothing P-p-professor!! Ab-b-bsolutely n-n-nothing!!" Roberto managed to choke out. Xavier gave them a funny look.

"Well, there seems to be a game of minor interest. Two NHL teams are going to be playing at one of Winnipeg's local rinks as a fundraiser. I'm sure Mr. McCoy, Mr. Logan and Mr. ah…Sabretooth would be happy to take you all." Logan and Hank's frantic efforts to cut the Professor off failed, and were ready to die when he announced their sentence.

"Oh great! More hockey!" Bobby remembered his last encounter with the sport most painfully.

"What happened?" Jean asked, slightly…uninformed.

"Ummm…a slap shot…t' parts where nae puck should ever go…" Rahne offered.

"Into the goal?" A light bulb suddenly appeared over Jean's head. "Ooooh! Ouch…"

"Jawohl." Kurt affirmed.

"We. Are. Doomed." Hank sighed, and began to travel towards the rink.

~~~~~~~~~~~(Look at the amazing curvy line! Whee!!!)~~~~~~~~~

"You like Logan?!? I mean…jeez…" Magneto was still unbelievably amazed by this amazing revelation. "I need another joint." Chucky the Beaver wandered away for a moment, and returned with a chip in one of his oversized yellow incisors.

"Ummm…I'm gonna assume that that is not a good thing." Mystique looked at the now whimpering beaver. There came a honk from the back of the pack.

"What is it Gertrude?" Magneto asked in a dazed manner.

"You named the goose Gertrude?" Mystique gave Magneto a very odd look indeed.

"Gertrude named herself. And she says that we're north." As if to emphasize his point, Mystique suddenly slipped and fell on her butt.

"How. Far. North?" She hissed.

"Far enough that we can see a polar bear." Magneto responded absent-mindedly.

"I don't see any polar bear!! All I see are midget seals!! Heeey…these things would make amazing slippers…" Mystique pulled a club from a nearby tree, and was about to hit the baby harp seal over the head with the branch. She looked into his eyes, and he looked back. Mystique dropped the club, hitting Magneto over the head and bent down. "Awww!! How could I kill you!! I shall call thee Harvey! And Harvey thee shall be known as!" Mystique cuddled the newly christened Harvey.

"Owww…what about Magneto? Or Looogan?"

"Harvey is all that matters now!"

"Umm…what about that polar bear?" Mystique opened her eyes, and found herself looking into a pair of black eyes, with a black nose just below.

"He matters not! I have my Harvey!" Mystique returned to cuddling. The polar bear sniffed her and Harvey. The polar bear looked at Chucky, Magnus, and Gertrude, who all shrugged.

"We should head south…" Magneto said…as if it didn't really matter.

"Yes…we should…" Mystique was still busy cuddling Harvey.

"Let's go." Magneto hauled Mystique to her feet.

"You have a cute little nose, and two little eyes! And I shall teach you to swim. And how to catch fish. And how to sneak into Xavier's mansion. And…" Mystique continued to ramble on. Magneto sighed. He was the responsible one now. Not a good thing. Not good at all. At least he still had a supply of weed.

"Ummm…I shall call you…" Magneto searched his brain for a name for the polar bear, who was now following them. "Peach!" Magneto continued to walk, happily in his little drug induced state.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(Is this line not amazingly hypnotic?)~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Flaaaaames!!" Pyro continued his mantra.

"This isn't an NHL team!! The Flames are in the toilet!! They always have been!!" Ray was incredibly annoyed with the game.

"I never knew he was a hockey buff…" Jean whispered to Wanda.

"What's worse…Fred and Todd are both huge supporters…" Wanda whispered back.

"If the Flames are in the toilet, how is it they are winning?" Kurt pointed out, mostly to antagonize Ray.

"Because the Senators' management couldn't manage their way out of a telephone booth!" Ray shouted. The Calgary Flames scored, and Pyro, in his excitement flicked his lighter, and created a huge fireball.

"GO FLAMES GO!! WAH HA HA HA!!" He laughed insanely. Scott tried to leap out of the way of the rapidly expanding fireball, but was a tad too slow and got his hair singed. And when I say singed, I mean Pyro burnt it all off. Pietro was also in the way, but he is never too slow…except when he's running from Wanda. Anyway, Scott found himself looking very much like his idol, and Pietro was busy apologizing frantically to Rogue. As he had jumped into her lap.

"PYRO!!" Scott leaped towards the pyromaniac, in an attempt to strangle him.

"I'm gonna go get some beer." Logan got up and left in a huge rush. Sabretooth was not far behind him.

"I think I need some popcorn. I really want some popcorn right now." Hank glanced at the mutants. "Scott! Jean! You're in charge!" Hank exit stage right.

"Hey!! I have an idea!" Kurt suddenly brightened. Bobby, Jubilee, and Tabitha all looked at him with intense interest. "Let's go get the mascot costumes…" an evil grin followed.

"Does anyone else find this like, totally boring?" Kitty yawned, and Ray, Todd, and Fred shot her an evil glare, too absorbed in the game to care. The buzzer sounded.

"That's the first period break folks! And now, please welcome the mascots!!" The announcer announced. Kurt smiled, his eyes once again glowing in the dark hallway, shoved the still fighting Mr. Military and Pyro out onto the ice. They were decked out in the two team's mascot costumes. Pyro cackled evilly inside the Harvey the Hound costume, while Scott was still attempting strangulation with the cumbersome Sens mascot costume.

"Where's our costumes!!" A man in his boxers suddenly came rushing out, followed by another in a similar predicament.

"And who put the fireworks in 'em?" Kurt bamfed out, while his co-conspirators snuck back into their seats.

"Is that Scott?" Jean asked, squinting to make out the figure. Kurt & Company gave the innocent looks, which had been perfected several times over. "Oh my God!! It is Scott!!"

"Do not use the Lord's name in vain!" Kurt admonished, looking absolutely shocked.

"I've got to help him!" Jean floated down to the ice, and telekinetically separated the two. Taking them back to their seats, she seated them firmly down, and refused to let them move. "Serves you both right for stealing the mascot  costumes and fighting down there on the field!"

"Rink, rink! Can't you people get anything right?!?" Ray was sitting on the edge of his seat, eagerly awaiting the teams to return.

"Ah think yah takin' this a tad too seriously Ray…" Sam began, and was hushed by Todd.

"They're comin' back out onto the ice yo!"

"Shut yer yaps if y' not gonna cheer!" Fred said, waving a fist blindly.

"Hey…you bunch, come down with me…" Sam, Rahne, Piotr, Roberto, Remy, and Jamie did the 'Who, me?' look, and followed the man in a suit out of the spectator area. "How would you like to take part in an intermission game?"

"Uhhh…sure…" Sam answered for the group.

"Alright, here's what you do…"

"ARRRGH!! How can the Flames be winning 3-2?" Ray was just about ready to pull his hair out, and even Todd and Fred looked stressed.

"Flaaames…" Pyro chanted dazedly.

"Everybody give a warm round of applause for our participants in the Audience Game!! In the Flames uniforms, we have six people from the left side of the rink, and in the Senators uniforms, six from the right side!! In goal for the Flames is P-Pio-Peter!! In goal for the Sens is Ken! Here's the faceoff…"

The game began with Roberto looking a mean-looking Canuck/Winninpeg native in the eye. The referee dropped the puck.

'This is vaguely familiar…' Sam thought as Roberto lost the face-off, and the Senators uniform came straight at him. It suddenly hit him how, and he cannonballed out of the way of the slap-shot. Piotr looked at the puck as it bounced off his now metal chest.

"Well! Folks this is an interesting twist as the Flames goalie appears to be a mutant!! As is their left winger! What an interesting turn of events…let's see what the Senators can do! Peter has become a metal monolith, and is filling that net!! Nothing's gonna be getting through him!" Jamie was knocked down by a passing player, and the ref blew their whistle. "And now! The Flames are being called for having too many players on the ice at once! Well, this is most certainly stacking the odds against the Senators, can the still win?" Remy was leaning idly on his hockey stick, not paying any attention to the puck, and promptly fell on his butt when Rahne blew past him fighting a Senator for the puck.

"Merde! Nobody does dat to Gambit!" Getting up, Remy tried to run, and failed miserably, falling down three more times.

"Skate Mr. LeBeau, don't run, skate!" Jamie slid by, trying to avoid being bumped again, and still offering what he considered to be helpful advice to the currently clumsy Cajun. Another buzzer rang.

"And that is it folks!! The game ends in a tie!! With Peter filling the Flames' net, making it impossible to score, and the Flames themselves obviously not skaters…well, this is one for the record books!"

"Did we win?" Sam asked, rubbing his head from the sudden meeting with the boards.

"Nay, come on Sam. Time to get off the ice. Slowly." Rahne offered a hand to help Sam up.

"Sure, de femme helps her homme, but no help is offered to Gambit." Remy struggled to keep a grip on the boards, and to stay upright.

"Come comrade! It is not that difficult!" Piotr took Remy's hand, and lifted him clear of the ice.

"Et tu?" Remy asked, seeing Roberto in a similar predicament. The Russian carried both easily, and skated off into the dark hallway.

"You two just have no practice. It's easy once you get the hang of it!" Jamie skated by, and tripped over the mat in the hallway.

"So, how was the game?" Xavier asked, as his charges returned.

"Absolutely horrible!!" Ray moaned.

"The worst ever!" Fred offered.

"I've seen better garbage in mah lunch yo!" Todd clambered into the van.

"The Flames won 4-3." Lance offered as explanation.

"And that is a bad thing?" Xavier raised an eyebrow. Lance shrugged. "Scott! What happened?!?" Scott grumbled something that sounded like 'Allerdyce'…or it could have  been 'All yer mice'…but that would make no sense.

"Well, I have found the shortest route to Regina-" More snickers. "And have left very clear directions, so I expect to be there by morning. Yes, we will be traveling overnight, but we are running out of time if we expect to arrive in Alberta in time. I expect drivers to switch off when one begins to get tired. Lance, I'm sure you can trust your jeep to Piotr long enough for you to get some sleep, and Jean, you'll trade with Tabitha. She'll be joining us in our van, while Kitty goes to Hank's van. And no, Kitty, you will NOT be driving. Kurt and Hank are driving. Logan, Ororo, I trust you can handle yourselves?" Logan and Ororo glared at each other.

~~~~(Ummm…making up for lack of Magneto and Mystique last chap…)~~~

"You are now leaving Nun-a-vut…Nunavut…What the hell is Nunavut?"

"I'll have Nunavut!! Absolutely Nunavut!" Mystique shouted.

"Uhhh…pardon?" Magneto was only slightly confused.

"I said…I'll. Have. None. Of. It. Understand?" Mystique enunciated each word carefully and slowly. Magneto shook his head, and looked at the joint he was holding in his hand.

'This stuff is definitely beginning to affect my brain…'

"If we're leaving Nunavut…what are we entering?" Mystique wondered, still snuggling Harvey.

"The Northwest Territories." Magneto responded promptly. Mystique gave him a funny look. "I want to rule the world, so I have to know what all the districts of the countries are called, right?" Mystique gave him another odd look. Harvey joined in. So did Bucky, Magnus, Gertrude and Peach. "Just trust me, okay?" He sighed.

"He's been on drugs, and was whining about his bucket, and now he asks me to trust him…what do you think Harvey?" Mystique rubbed Harvey's nose, and Harvey spit all over her. "I agree. Lead on fearless leader!!" Magneto sighed, and continued to walk on.

~~~(Okay…so not really making it up…just wanted to write that…)~~~~~

"So what are we trying to do again?" Kitty asked. Kurt sighed, and explained it again.

"Ve are trying to get as much off this stuff on a single chip!" He held up one of the seven containers of dip. "Ve each have one chance, and whoever has the least dip left in their little…container…vins."

"What do we do with the rest of the dip and chips then?" Amara asked, gesturing to the jumbo sized bag of chips.

"Eat 'em! What else? Can we start now? Can we? Pleaase?!?" Jamie began to beg.

"That's not how to be annoying kid. Thisishowyouactannoying!" Pietro began to talk at warp speed. He was pelted with empty food containers. "Stopit!!StopitStopitStopitStopit!!! I've stopped! See?" Jamie looked at Pietro all starry eyed.

"Teach me oh great one!!" He began to worship.

"That's nothing." Kurt countered. He began to wave his tail in front of Kitty's face. She brushed it away. He waved it some more. She brushed it away again. This continued until Kitty exploded.

"KURT!! GET YOUR DAMN TAIL OUTTA MY FACE!!"

"See? That's how you are annoying." Kurt sat back with a very smug look plastered on his face. "Now, let's begin vith the contest!" Kurt popped the top on two of the containers, and Amara opened the bag of chips. Pietro opened the rest before Kurt could say 'Verdammt'.

Kurt took the biggest chip he could get his hand on, and began to pile on the dip. Jamie followed suit, as did Pietro, at warp speed. Kitty picked up the chip, and began to put on the vegetarian dip she had picked out. Before long, the dip was piled high. The only two left in the game were Roberto and Kurt. Kurt, because of his 0-talent with all things pertaining to food and or eating, and Roberto because he refused to lose. Kurt scraped the last bit of dip out of his container, just as Roberto's chip broke.

"Aww man!"

"A ha!! I vin! Whooo hoo!!" Kurt celebrated by chomping down on his chip.

"Would you like some chips with that dip?" Amara asked, offering Kurt the bag. She, Jamie, Kitty, Ray, and Pietro had all been contentedly munching away at their chips and dip for the past two minutes.

"Ja!" Kurt reached for the chips, and went for some dip. "Awww…Amara…can I…?"

"No."

"Pietro?"

"Nuh uh."

"Ray?"

"You had yours!"

"'Berto?"

"Nope, I don't have 'nuff left to share!"

"Jamie…?"

"I didn't have any to share in the first place." The four Jamies were munching away.

"Kit?"

"Of course! I'm like, so glad you're finally interested in you health Kurt!" Kitty offered the veggie dip, and Kurt made a face.

"Row row row your boat! Gently down the stream!" Tabitha, Bobby, Jubilee, and Pyro were all happily singing the round. Over and over and over and over again.

"Will they every stop…?" Scott murmered.

"I've tried…they won't!" Jean cried. Xavier snored on oblivious to all. Sam was silently playing solitaire.

"Sam! How can you stand it?" Scott shouted.

"Hmmm? Are you talking to me? Sorry." Sam popped out his ear plugs. "What?" Scott groaned, Sam shrugged, and the rest sang.

"All bets carry over!" Rahne remained firm and absolute. "Any cheating, and ye're disqualified! Immediately!! Do I be makin' myself clear?" Wanda grumbled.

"Dat's not fair!! Gambit t'ought we were startin' new bets! I wanna change m' numbers!"

"No! Ye lost on the rice, an' that be final! Whatever made ye bet that we'd hit rice anyway? Rice don't grow in North America!" Remy groaned.

Lance eyed Piotr warily. Fred and Todd looked at each other, daring each to be the first. Piotr only looked ahead.

"Someone fess up!" Lance suddenly shouted.

"Yo da losah!" Todd clamped his mouth over.

"Whoever smellt it dealt it!" Fred crowed.

"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime!" Lance shot back. Piotr let a small smile slip over his face.

Wheee!! Another chapter done!! And I'm off to sleep!! I certainly hope I feel better tom…cuz I can't miss any more school!! I'm already screwed as it is!! *is deadly serious* Wheee! I'm gonna fail everything now!! Wooo!! Watch me!! Meh, well, anyway, I suggest you go check out yet another joint fic I'm doing, this time with Cheesy Monkey. It's on her account, and was named, in a moment of brilliance, Cocoa Puffs. Check it out! I dare ye!

Chaotic Boredom


	19. Immaturity rox mah Sox

Hmmm…I'm back again…still sick…a month later…and just off school. I'm not failing yet surprisingly…but I should be using this time to catch up on schoolwork. Meh. Well…here we go again!

Risty – Hitting baby seals was a huge thing a few decades back in Canada too…and it just seemed like something Mystique would do. Mean ol' Mystique! Well…New Zealanders are nicer than Americans…Bobby is indeed melting…and it is West…why is the west so wicked? Why I ask you, why? It's just plain hockey here…the other variation is known affectionately as field hockey…

Millenium Mutant – How could Remy not know that? Or that it doesn't grow in North America? Or more specifically, Canada? Remy is perhaps touched in the head a tad…umm…you've lost track, and I can't count, so it all works out! Oooh…well…I'm not supposed to be at home today…so I is a bad Canadian author…^_^

The RP – Well…I'm off school cuz of me bein' sick…but that's no fun…oh well, glad you liked it!

Freakish Fangirl – NOOO!! *hates computer crashes* Here, I offer you…mr Sledgehammer! *duh duh DUH* There were lots of cameos in X2!! And that little list accounts fur 45% of 'em! ALLARDYCE?!? *tries to murder publisher of book* Really? He wrote Uncanny X-Men? I like movie Rogue…just don't like her and Bobby KISSING!! Yes, you have written a lot!

Personage – You were inspired? *feels happy* Hmmm…mein Thanksgiving was waaaay back in October…but it was gut…

psychobunny410 – Yes! I do!

sir crazy gurl – I could by the fact I knew next to nothing about Winnipeg! And the same goes fur Regina…but at least I can make fun of that name in oh so many ways! A statue of a turtle? O_o…although…I've seen a giant Easter Egg…and a few other…odd, statues. Wow…Secret Gambit affair? *snickers* No worries…I am still writin'.

Shawshank – Scott and mascot costume? He was wearing it…and trying to murder Pyro at the same time…Gambit skating is funny…and how can I forget Oscar Jim Mike Sally when HE ANNOYS THE BLOODY HELL OUTTA ME!!

Panther Nesmith – Aww…well, I'll be at summer school too…but maybe not fur same reasons…*needs to take extra course by way of summer school* Seal adoption is a common thing…just not fur blue lady shapeshifters who walk around with men who like to wear buckets on their heads. Jamie is cute…even when tortured by you to the point where he no longer has any shred of innocence left. *pops Panther's get well pill* Now I be so high on various drugs, that I have to write well!!

animeluvr1 – Harvey is awesome…both seal and mascot. ^_^ Pyro would have liked 'em better on home ice, seeing as they shoot fire out above the ice when the Flames score, but I have waaaay too much to do in Alberta is it is. Yes…Ray was remarkably un-itchy…but that's due to mein remarkably poor continuity skills. Ooops. He has a large part, but look how annoyed he is throughout! Harvey the seal is everyone's new best freund. Piotr was being so nice though…

Taineyah – apologies fur the lackage of updation…I've been…busy…with school…oy!

rogueandkurt – sorry it took so long to update…I've been distracted with school works…ugh.

Andivari – D-Ark, you changed yer name!! Ah well…hmmm…you think the Prof's a pimp do ye? *evil grin*

Desert-Rose6 – Ah! So you too are an obsessed fan! And again…with Xavier…your comment sparked an interesting train of thought…

Cheesy Monkey – Wow!! You review!! And at a time when I've grown weary of answering to reviews…I shall make a special effort!! Yes, Montana does touch, next year, huh? What year will that be may I ask? I've been learning American history since Grade Eight…and even some British and French since Grade Five! Yes, I am mean to Hank, Hank is just so easy to be mean to!

azmoonchick – Yes…see…rice is not grown anywhere in Canada however…the climate is too cold. Nit-Pick away!! I'm known to do that too!

A Pyro's Rage – Heh, I'm an Arrogant Worms fan too, thanks to this story, and I suggest you thank Taineyah, as they're the one who first suggested them. Foul stuff? Foul is mein sister's breath…you can't get any fouler than that.

Alexis: Digital Survivor – I'm glad you're liking this! Moose Jaw…heh heh…more immature fun mayhaps…

That was relatively painless…now if I can keep my aching head up long enough to write and finish this here chapter…Rahne will be taking bets in van numero dos.

DISCLAIMER: Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

"Stay awake Kurt…we're almost there…" Kitty poked Kurt, trying to keep the dozing fuzzy mutant awake.

"Just five more minutes mutter…just five more…" Kurt's head began to droop again. Amara solved the problem by dropping a tiny fireball into his lap. "WOOAGH!!" Kurt ported away.

"I'll drive!" Kitty jumped into the drivers seat. The other passengers began to say their prayers.

"Ah…here we are in beautiful Regina." The mutants snickered. Xavier gave them an odd look. "Why won't they tell me what's so funny?" He whispered to Hank. Hank shrugged. "Well…in any case…we'll be leaving tomorrow morning, and-" Hank shook the Professor's shoulder, and Xavier opened his eyes. "Damn." The mutants had once again all run off, leaving their chaperones and Xavier behind.

"So what should we all do now that we've ditched the old folks?" Tabitha asked stretching.

"Sleep…and get some ice…" Kurt had ported away…and landed in a random suitcase inside Logan and Ororo's van. He had not enjoyed the remainder of the trip.

"Here's your ice…" Bobby handed Kurt a lump of ice shaped suspiciously like Kurt's head.

"Very funny Bobby." Kurt gave Bobby a 'look'. Kurt then threw the ice head at Bobby.

"Did you all know there's an election today?" Jean asked, flipping through an abandoned newspaper.

"And we should care because…?" Lance asked, scratching the back of his neck absently.

"Umm…" Jean struggled to find an answer.

"Can we vote?" Gambit asked.

"What do you think Cajun? We're not citizens! Of course we can't!"

"Well mon ami, we can always try, non?" Gambit smiled at Scott, who grimaced back.

"Hey!! Look!! They have a list of all the candidates…What the…?" Kitty stopped. "The Professor's on this list!!" Suddenly, the Saskatchewan election became top priority.

"He's running for governor?!?"

"Premier Evan, premier."

"Doncha need to be a Canadian citizen to be elected?"

"Who knows? This country's so whack, it wouldn't surprise me!"

"Mayhap we should go and look into dat voting, non?" Gambit smiled some more.

~~~~~~(Is this not splendifourisly hypnotic?)~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mystique snuggled Harvey, who has turning blue from lack of air. Yes, his fur was turning blue. Peach and Bucky were thanking their stars that they weren't cute enough to match the blue lady's shade of blue. Magneto had ran out of his stash, and was suffering withdrawal while trying to find a replacement for his bucket.

"Oh there's a hole in my bucket! Dear Raven dear Raven! Oh there's a hole in my bucket, dear Raven a hole!" Gertrude and Magnus tried to plug their ears, and failing miserably, resorted to ramming Magneto in the rear so hard, he flew across a borderline.

"Now exiting Yukon…" Magneto read the sign. "How is it do you think that they manage to put signs up every half mile on their borders, in the middle of nowhere I wonder…"

"The sign bunnies do it." Mystique said absently, as she hugged the squirming Harvey.

_AIR!! AIR!!_

_Poor Harvey…mebbe he shouldn't have been so cute eh? _Bucky chattered to Gertrude.

_I dunno…he's bein' carried…while we have to walk! _Gertrude honked back.

_Aww, quite yer snivlin' whiners!_ Magnus…ummm…did whatever it is the moose do…

"I think they're talking about us…" Magneto whispered across the border.

"Naw…they're probably just wondering what it is you folks are doin' all the way out here, eh?" Magneto jumped, and saw a man heavily wrapped in layers talking to them. "My, that's some might bad frostbite you've got there lady. Doncha know that you need to bundle up to stay warm here?" He began to get off his ski-do (AN: Also known as a snowmobile, but mein uncle has one, and everyone calls it a ski-do. Go figure.)

"Stay where you are mere human!! For I am Magneto!! The Master of Magnetism!!" Magneto stretched his arms out, and tried to lift the ski-do and send it's rider flying. Instead of the familiar _WHOOOOM _sound…there was a…

"Twing? I think you're powers are broken." Magneto tried again. _Twing!_ "I warned you not to smoke that crap! I warned you!" Mystique admonished. Magneto shook his hands and head, and tried again. _TWANG!!_ The ski-do blew up, and the innocent Canadian bystander was thrown…far far away…and landed on a very conveniently placed inflated mat that was set up for a stunt jump of a random movie in Yellowknife. He was uninjured, and became famous as the Flying Inuit.

"That was helpful." Mystique said dryly.

"Well…we're in the Yukon…or at least…I am! I'm closer to Alaska than you!! I'm closer to Alaska than you!" Magneto taunted. Mystique took two step, and she exited the Northwest Territories. "Oh." Magneto sighed, and began to try and figure out what had happened with his power.

_We are doomed. _Peach rumbled to all the other entourage…who promptly agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(BOOO!)~~~~~~

"Mr. Xavier!! Mr. Xavier!! Tell me!! How does it feel to be the newly elected Premier?" A random reporter assaulted Xavier.

"What? I'm not the Premier this is a gross misunderstanding. I'm not even a Canadian citizen!"

"Mr. Premier!! How does it feel to be the first Premier in a wheelchair?!?" Hank was slowly moving away from the crowds.

"Well whaddya know…You actually did it!" Logan smiled, and dug twenty bucks out of his pocket.

"Thank-you, and believe me…it was no easy task getting him elected to head the Progressive Conservative party without anyone ever seeing him." Hank accepted the twenty with a smile.

"Oh Charles!! I knew you were more than just a regular guy!!" Xavier's eyes grew as big as dinner plates as he recognized his companion from his earlier vacation. Hank and Logan stared, as the man leaped into Xavier's lap.

"Dammit!! I owe Gumbo twenty now…" Logan grumbled. Sabretooth barked out a laugh, and the three left the Professor to the ravenous hordes of reporters.

"Wow! I guess every vote does count!" Tabitha laughed, as the bar displayed the election news. "Xavier won by three votes!"

"Was?!?" Kurt asked.

"The total vote count…12 to 15." Jean read.
    
    "So, if you go to Washington, its buildings brown and rice,

Bring a pack of underwear, and we'll TP the White House thrice!" Scott and Lance sang drunkenly, performing a what could only be seen as an Australian rain dance to accompany it.

"Looks like Shades can't 'old 'is liquor, non?" Remy smiled at Rogue, who growled slightly.

"Aye mate, they don't even know 'ow to dance properly!" John winced as the pair made another misstep. "At this rate, they'll be bringin' down the apocalypse on us all!"

"You called?" Apocalypse's deep and giant voice rang out through the bar.

"Naw, I meant it in the biblical sense."

"How'd you get out anyway? There's still two locks that are sealing you in!" Jean cried.

"The author let me out for this scene."

Chaotic Boredom walked in. "And now, you are going back, for I am the author, and control your lives. Ooops…wasn't supposed to mention that." CB pulled out a neuralyzer, flashey-thingied the entire congregation of mutants, and then left, pushing Apocalypse out.

"But I don't wanna go back in there…it's tiny and cramped!!"

"Suck it up princess. And now…back to the story."

John winced as the pair finally stopped their awful imitation and fell in a heap on the ground.

"Where's Ray?" Amara suddenly asked, noticing the absence of the electrical mutant.

"His stings were infected again." Rahne offered noncommittally, and continued slurping on a Blue Hawaii. The teens were once again under-age, excepting Remy and Piotr, and drinking, hopefully with better results than before. John had put on an extra pair of boxers, just in case.

"So, where'd he go?" Evan asked.

"A nearby hospital." Sam replied, nervously looking around, not wanting to get caught with a drink.

"I'm going to go visit him!" Kurt jumped up, porting away…and reappearing in the rafters, hanging by his tail. Piotr walked over, reached up, and disentangled the furry elf.

"I vill go vith you." Piotr carried Kurt out of the door, with Kitty and Jamie bounding after him. 

The four found Ray in a hospital room, rather comfortable.

"This place is awesome!! It's all free!!" Ray tried to get up, but his head was swathed in bandages.

"Ummm…" Kitty thought about this. "Don't you need coverage by the province?" She asked. Ray thought for a moment.

"Dunno." He smiled happily, or tried to. Kurt was busily trying to play with some things, and a tiny box fell out of his pocket. It fell open, and out slithered a small snake.

"Jerry!!" Kurt fell of the wall, and crawled after the quickly moving reptile.

"Jerry? You stole Jerry from me? THEIF!!"

"Y' called?" Remy popped his head in. Ray had pulled himself out of the hospital bed, and was chasing Kurt around the room, who was chasing Jerry around the room, who was chasing Kitty around the room.

"GET IT AWAY!! GET IT AWAY!!" Kitty was screaming. Piotr and Jamie both had very anime-like teardrops on heir foreheads. There was a third developing on Remy's forehead.

"Gambit t'inks he'll be leavin' now…" Piotr and Jamie rushed to get out before Remy closed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(I'm having too much fun with these lines…)~~~~~~~

"GOLD!! I've found GOLD!!" Magneto shouted, holding up a handful of pebbles from the riverbed.

"Whoop de do for you." Mystique replied. She had fashioned a sling of sorts for Harvey, and was carrying him in it. He had returned to his normal white colour.

"Don't you see? With gold, we have money, with money, we can buy stuff!! We're rich!!"

"So? I found a huge pile of diamonds before we crossed the border." Magneto stared at Mystique. Mystique dug a small sack out from…somewhere (AN: Let's not go there…) Opening it, the glitter blinded Magneto. "See?"

"I CAN'T SEE!!!" Magneto shouted. Mystique sighed, took Magneto's hand, and began to lead him about.

'She's holding my hand!! She's holding my hand!!' Magneto thought excitedly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(and…again with the line!)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mr. Premier!! Why are you leaving now? Where are you going?"

Xavier held his head in his hands. "Moose Jaw." He answered.

"There's a place called Moose Jaw?" Bobby whispered.

"Wouldn't put it past 'em, this country's really messed." Jubilee replied. Jean pushed all the reporters away telekinetically, and drove away.

"So, where are we really headed?" Sam asked.

"Calgary." Scott replied, already befuddled by the map.

"But Calgary sucks!!" Tabitha whined. (AN: Remember the Arrogant Worms song a few chapters back? Well, so does Tabby)

AN: And there we go…hopefully I'll get another chap up today, cuz I wanna finish this before New Years, and I'm gonna be gone fur a week…until the 30th. Oy. Ah well, apologies fur the shortness, and the speed of this update…but I ran out of ideas fur Saskatchewan. _ The next one will be nice and long!

Auf weidersehen mein freunds!


	20. It's ALBERIA!

WHEEEEE!! Two updates in two days!!!

psychobunny410 – sorry to keep you waiting!! I know of no Chris Benoit…but if it's wrestling…the Hart family is from Calgary…

Alexis : Digital Survivor – Hmmm…are you agreeing with mein lack of creative genius? Or creative dumbass?

Risty – Heh heh…Poor Prof…I'm so mean to him sometimes…you liked mein cameo? ^_^ I had fun with that…I was getting bored, and you can tell that I'm running out of ideas when I go off on a tangent like that…Actually…I ever was in control of this story, and highly doubt I ever will be…I just like to THINK I am. I was actually being canon? *Faints* Moose Jaw is a real town, and Clinton and Gore? O_O…All together now! COINCIDENCE? I THINK **NOT!! Danke!!**

Vinter – I'm glad you do!

A Pyro's Rage – Heh heh…poor Pyro, ah well, I will take a look at your story when it's posted, but until then, I will keep mein busy fingers typing!

sir crazy gurl – I'm glad you think so highly of me! I doubt it, but still am glad! Gutes glück!

animeluvr1 – Heh heh…Harvey fur Chanukah hrmm? I will have to see what I can do about that… 

Wow!! So many reviews!! And after lackage of updatage fur so long!

DISCLAIMER! I don't write as an outlet for my creative genius, I write as an outlet for my creative dumbass.

"Sooo…Where are we?" Tabitha asked, gazing up and around at the giant towering tower.

"Alberta." Xavier replied. "Now, here, you'll have three options, you can go to Edmonton, stay here for the Stampede, or south to Drumheller."

"And we really want to care because?" Lance asked, irritable due to a giant hangover.

"Storm will be driving north to Edmonton, to the West Edmonton Mall…"

"Did somebody say mall?" Jubilee perked up, and Kitty, Tabby, Amara made a bolt for the van where Ororo was sitting murmuring to herself.

"Hank will be taking a group to Drumheller, where they have a wonderful exhibit displaying several varieties of fossils."

"Then why isn't the Prof there?" Bobby sniggered. Logan backhanded Bobby in the back of his head.

"And Logan will be remaining here, to take part in the annual festivities known as the Stampede. Please choose a destination."

Rahne raised her hand. "Where's Mr. Sabretooth goin'?" Sabretooth growled.

"He's joining Mr. McCoy."

"Probably visiting some long lost relatives." There was more snickering. Sabretooth growled.

Sam, Bobby, Kurt and Ray wandered the grounds, in search of something interesting.

"FOOD!!" Kurt leaped over to a stand selling Mini-Doughnuts. (AN: I am addicted to them, it's true!)

"Kurt!! You can't be already hungry!! C'mon! Let's go on the log ride!!" Bobby tried to drag Kurt away, but didn't succeed until Kurt had purchased a bag of the doughnuts.

"Mmmm…sugar ist sehr gut." Sam tried to sneak a doughnut, and Kurt, in his sugar induced daze, let it slip. Sam bit into the sugar covered ball of dough, and fell into a similar trance.

"C'mon! Log ride you two!! On the double!!" Ray, his infection having abated again, leaving some rather…interesting scars, tugged at Sam, while Bobby dragged Kurt. Getting onto the ride, they strapped themselves in, Bobby at the front, Kurt and Sam in the middle, and Ray at the back. Sam's sugar trance wore off, while Kurt slowly munched the last Mini-Doughnut. The log boat crawled up the incline, turned, and sped down the first hill.

"That was disappointing." Ray observed, as they began to climb the next hill.

"Hey!! There's a camera!!" Bobby realized as a brilliant flash lit up the track ahead.

"Joy." Sam said unenthusiastically. The log-boat began to tip forward, and then sped down the second hill. The four boys were blinded by the flash, and then hit by a huge spray of water.

"WOOO!! Let's do that again!!" Bobby shouted.

"Where's Ray?" Sam asked, noticing that the fourth member of their group was MIA.

"Ummm…Not here?" Kurt offered. The three looked back at the track, where Ray was being fished out of the water, and unhappy expression plastered on his face.

"He's alright, let's go see the picture!!" Bobby rushed off the ride, to the little stand set up nearby. He choked with laughter when he got there. "I'm king of the world!!" He shouted. Bobby was in the now famous pose from _Titanic_, while Kurt was displaying his fangs, Sam covered his eyes, and Ray was falling out of the boat. "How much?" Bobby grinned at the vendor.

"C'mon cherie, y' must want t' go on at least one ride, non?"

"Non is correct." Rogue replied.

"Not even dat one over there?"

"Not even that one ovah there."

"Hmm, well, Remy t'inks y'll be goin' on it anyw'y." Remy grabbed Rogue's arm, and rushed off to the giant towers. Getting in line, he kept a firm grip on Rogue's arm.

"Leggo o' me y' dumb Cajun!"

"Y' wound me cherie."

"Ah'm not yer cherie!"

"C'm now, it won't be that bad, will it? One ride? S'il vous plait?"

"See? It not so bad now." Remy was firmly buckled in next to Rogue. Rogue snorted. The trigger was released, and the Southern pair were hurled a few hundred meters into the air. Remy screaming all the way. Like a girl. They began to fall again, and Remy's heart rate began to slow. Remy only then noticed Rogue laughing. "What's so funny cherie?"

"You! And y're 'Not so bad now.'" Remy flushed red, and only then noticed his wallet had fallen out of his pocket.

"Condamner."

"Can we go to the Haunted House?" Jamie pleaded.

"No!! The Scrambler!! I wanna go on the Scrambler!!" Another begged.

"The rides are all so scary…" A third huddled in a corner.

"Rock climbing!! We should all go rock climbing!!"

"The Midway!! That's where everything is!! The Midway!!"

"Why me?" Pyro looked up at the sky, while the ten or so odd Jamies tugged at him, each in a different direction.

"The Drop of Fear…sounds…intriguing!" Bobby hopped in the line, dragging Kurt with him, who had found another Mini-Doughnut stand.

"There's no water involved?" Ray asked cautiously, before stepping into the line with Sugar Sam in tow.

"None whatsoever!" Bobby replied, urging the line to move faster.

"No cameras?"

"Don't think so…" Bobby answered, concealing the truth. Ray sighed.

"Good…after this…I think we better find Logan…"

Logan was sitting in a bar, feet propped up, hat over face, and snoozing.

"Drake…I'm gonna murder you for this." Ray grouched, as the platform crawled ever upwards.

"You can't reach me!" Bobby replied in a chipper tone.

"Where am I?" Kurt suddenly asked, snapping out of his sugar trance.

"Ah'm up high…real high…Ah think Ah scared o' heights…" Sam paled visibly. The other three stared.

"Your powers are flight and you're scared of heights?" Ray asked critically. Sam thought for a minute.

"Nah, just when Ah'm strapped in so Ah can't fly…" Sam's three companions groaned, and then all four shouted when their harnesses suddenly dropped.

"I am so getting that picture!!" Bobby crowed as he leaped out of his harness.

"You're dead meat Drake!!" Bobby threw a handful of bills at the picture man, leaving Kurt and Sam to collect the change.

"I vonder how many doughnuts we can buy vith this…" Kurt looked at the change.

"Let's find out."

Ororo watched as Jubilee, Amara, Kitty, and Tabitha worshipped the mall before them.

"It's the mother of all malls." Kitty whispered reverently.

"Granddaddy." Jubilee corrected, in an equally reverent tone.

"We are about to walk on hallowed ground." Tabitha intoned.

"Shop till you drop sisters!" Amara leaped forward, as did the other three, leaving Ororo to attend to her priorities.

"Must…destroy." She had one final mission to carry out. And she had all the supplies necessary.

Five hours and seventy-six shopping bags later, the four returned to the van, to find it devoid of life. Stuffing their purchases inside, they ran back towards the mall, only to be stopped by Ororo walking back out.

"Into the van now girls."

"Are you feelin' okay 'Ro?" Tabitha asked. After having dealt with mentally unbalanced Ororo for a while, it was scary to have regular Ororo back.

"Perfectly fine. Now, we have to drive back to Calgary and meet up with the others. Back into the van."

The quartet nervously were glancing around while Ororo drove, and seemed very relieved when a large boom was heard off in the distance behind them a ways.

"I wonder what was exploding…" Tabitha wondered idly.

"Do we really care?" Jubilee answered, digging in the back of the van for some purchase lost in the sea of bags.

"Somebody might be hurt…" Kitty observed.

"Or it might have been some fireworks…" Amara replied.

"Don't look at me!" Jubilee protested when she turned to see everyone staring at her.

Scott yawned. And wondered why he had decided to come to the museum. And more importantly, why Evan had come to the museum.

"Why did you come here Evan? You never want to learn anything!" Scott asked finally.

"Because dude, bones are my thing hey! And I get to see their predecessors here!"

"Evan…these creatures are in no way whatsoever related to you."

"They have bones, I have bones, and besides, I wanted to perfect my Stegosaurus imitation." Evan popped a ridge of plates out along his back.

"That lad's aimin' to become this town's mascot, nae?" Rahne asked as she watched Evan stalk off.

"Why'd you come here?" Scott turned to Rahne.

"Bones are bones…the marrow is good aye?" Rahne shrugged, and picked up one of Evan's discarded bone plates, and gnawed on it contentedly. Scott shuddered.

'And I live with these people!!' He thought.

"Yes, you do." Jean gave Scott a puzzled look. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"Yes!! Evan came to a place of learning, and Rahne's chewing on his bones!"

"And there is something wrong with Evan wanting to learn for once?" Hank asked, a smile tugging at his features.

"YES!!" Scott shouted.

"What?"

"Well…"

"I'm waiting."

"You see…"

"Today please Mr. Summers."

"Erg…umm…"

"Five…"

"Evan…"

"Four…"

"He's…"

"Three…"

"Y'know…"

"Two…"

"ARRRGH!!"

"One."

"HE'S EVAN!!" Scott finally shouted as Hank finished his countdown.

"That's your excuse?" Jean looked at Scott critically.

"Yes!! Evan has never wanted anything to do with academics ever!!"

"I was unaware you knew Mr. Daniels before he came to the Institute…MR. MAXIMOFF!! GET OFF OF THAT BRACHIOPOD!! IT IS NOT MEANT FOR USAGE AS A SLIDE!!" Hank was interrupted of his teasing of Scott to pull Pietro off a diplodocus he was using as a giant jungle gym. Jean continued what Hank had started.

"So, where'd you and Evan meet?" Jean asked slyly.

"ARGGHH!! This trip is a nightmare!!" Scott stormed off, and noticed Wolf-Rahne gnawing on another of Evan's plates. Only this one was still attached to his back. Roberto was trying to pry the wolf off Evan.

"Gerroffa me Rahne!!"

"C'mon Rahne! Let Evan shed it first! That sounded…disturbing…" Roberto loosened his hold on Rahne for a quarter of a second. A quarter of a second long enough for her to get a firmer grip on Evan's back.

"Roberto!!" Evan shouted.

"Oops!!" Roberto grabbed the wolf's middle, and pulled hard, hard enough that he fell on his butt when Scott blasted the plate loose from Evan.

"Holy mother!!" Evan shouted. "That hurt you!!"

"What happened here?" Hank asked, returning, and holding Pietro up off the ground. Rahne was on the ground, chewing away, while Evan was rubbing the spot where the plate had been attached only moments before.

"That hurts man!! If I were to do the same to one of your teeth, mebbe you wouldn't be so quick to do it to me again!"

"This trip was not a good idea…" Hank sighed, rubbing the sides of his head.

"Where are we?" Fred asked.

"Next to my sweetums!" Todd replied, trying to snuggle closer to Wanda, who was tied up very well. Wanda shoved Todd away with her shoulder, grimacing from contact with the smelly youth.

"That's oh so helpful brainiac." Lance growled.

"Tell me again…vhy are ve kidnappink this girl?" Piotr asked, thoroughly confused.

"Well, now we got our whole membership, excepting Mystique in the jeep, so we can leave this place yo!"

"Ummm…Hey! Tinman!! Do you wanna be our leader?" Fred made a stab at conversation.

"No way Fred!! I'm the leader, remember?" Lance took his eyes off the road, to stick his face in Fred's. Lance's jeep swerved off the narrow and empty highway, into the fenced in field. Lance slammed on the brakes, which failed of course, and began to say his prayers. Hurriedly and repeatedly. The rampaging jeep was stopped by a large and heavy object. Opening one eye, Lance looked to see a bovine pattern before him.

"Hey!! It's a cow yo!"

"Brilliant observation Toad." Lance snorted. The cow looked at the five in the jeep. The five looked back.

"Ummm…are cows man-eaters yo?" Todd asked nervously. Lance hit Todd in response. "I was just askin'…cuz that cow seems pretty hungry…"

"Mebbe it's disgruntled…"

"Wow Fred, I didn't think you knew that word!" Lance said sarcastically. "Hey! Tinman!! Care to get us out of this field? Tinman?" Lance looked around, to see Piotr stuck up in the only tree for miles.

"Uh…I don't think that's a good sign yo…" Todd stared upwards at the Russian Colossus, cowering in a tree.

"Let's get outta here…" Lance reached to put the jeep in reverse, only to hit another cow.

"We're surrounded!!" Fred was beginning to panic.

"Dammit!! Tinman!! Get down here!!" Lance shouted. Piotr shook his head furiously.

"Shit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(You should know what this means by know…)~~~~~~

"Hmmm…Now entering British Colombia…" Mystique read, while Magneto tried to pull the sign down…succeeding in only making the b's explode. "Let's go Harvey, before he tries to experiment on the iron inside of us." Mystique marched across the border, entourage not far behind, and the powerless Magneto soon after.

"I just don't understand! I'm fully evolved! My powers can't be dying!"

"I warned you about that crack!" Mystique threw over her shoulder, walking and cuddling Harvey.

_I wish I was that cute…_

_No, you don't. _Harvey replied.

_Would you like to be walking?_

_You could fly if you wanted._ Harvey pointed out.

_Oooh…that's what these are for?_ Gertrude lifted a wing, examining it for the first time.

_Yes. You're small 'nuff…use 'em._ Emille the Emu said dryly.

"Where'd we get the emu again?" Magneto asked, looking at Emille curiously. Mystique shrugged.

"Hell if I know. I think he escaped from a zoo." Magneto scratched his bucket-less head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Do you know your times tables?)~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Please!! Mr. Xavier! Are you here to see Mr. Klein?" Xavier struggled to answer, but was pushed along with the crowd to the Premier's office. He was shoved inside, and the door shut. Looking around, Xavier saw a room littered with empty liquor bottles.

"I hear you're the new *hic* Premier of Saska*hic*tchewan. Here's some free advice…get a dirty little secret…and if the news about you *hic* begins to die down…reveal it!" Xavier opened his mouth. "And don't start drink*hic*ing, Me and Whatshisface over in B*hic*C are usin' that…an' they already know yer gay? Well…start smoking *hic* MJ or somthin'…Now get *hic* out!" Xavier was pushed back out into the throng of reporters.

Okay…another short chapter…I'm running out of steam, can you tell? But this is longer than last chapter…ah well…two more to go…I think…*shrugs* well, I'm off fur a week, but I'm determined to finish this before New Year's…so we shall see…we shall most certainly see…

Auf weidersehen!

Chaotic Boredom


	21. The Loose Ties

I'm back home, plugging away, and on an X2 bonus features high!! Fweeee!!! I will meet mein goal, but first! Reviews!

rogueandkurt – You haven't been to WEM yet? *GASP*!!! I have mein own names fur places…Canuckistan…Alberia…Terronto…

ncsgirl – Americans can be silly…

psychobunny410 – That was intentional, I often call Alberta Alberia. Dunno why.

Millenium Mutant – I ran out of Canadian animals at three in the morning. So sue me. No, I haven't read Pirate Kit's stories, should I? Xavier is in charge cuz I feel like bein' cruel.

Desert-Rose6 – Heh heh, the train of thought was going towards more…erking circumstances, but I destroyed the rails before it could get too far.

Taineyah – Romy? Hrmm…we shall see, and yes, Storm did. Boom!

A Pyro's Rage – how was it conflustering? And I really need to check out thine story…

The RP – Here's more, and now I'm fine, but everyone I know is sick! Go figger.

sir crazy gurl – Gluckes. Good Luck. It's German…from waaaay too many Kurt fics. I blew up the mall, and Storm is cured, lest she destroy the newly re-opened Bayville mall…scary thoughts there.

Missy Pineapple Mint – They think Scotland is in England?!? O_O NEVER!! Nice to meet you, and while I'm Canadian, mein grandpa emigrated from Scotland, so I have roots there.

A.p.R. – 72 hours without sleep? And you manage to type a review absent of typos! Kudos!

Hiei-Rulez – Suggestions are always welcome. And I'm glad you liked that…I am a firm believer that Scotty boy is a really girly guy under all that Mr. Military.

Panther Nesmith - ^_^ Well, I almost missed your update, with an e-mail in mein inbox, and a personal note from you in a review!! Oy! Mmmm…Pie…

Freakish Fangirl – I like Calgary, but I'm biased…just a little…^_^ Richmond? Hrmmm…perhaps…but they'll be hitting Whistler…it depends on how long I can go before I'm found out…*shifty eyes* I will do mein best! *salutes* sir crazy gurl? I'm pretty sure I have a reviewer by that name around…heh heh. ^_^

With that done, I'm ready and rarin' to go!! Wheee!! I may actually complete this before midnight!! It's gonna be close!! 

DISCLAIMER: Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!

"Where the hell are we, and what are we doing here?"

"Language Mr. Drake!" Ororo admonished, catching Bobby off guard.

"Whoa! You're sane again Auntie O?" Evan stared with a gaping mouth. The mutants not present at the West Edmonton Mall all stared with gaping mouths. The charge card quartet was busy mourning the loss of the greatest mall they had ever visited. 

"Who could have done such a thing?" Jubilee sobbed, gazing at the headlines emblazoned across the top of the newspaper.

"They're attributing it to terrorists…"

"Has anyone seen Wanda?" Rogue suddenly noticed the absence of the psychopathic Goth.

"She has one trashed mall to her credit…" Kitty said slowly. Everybody took a moment to digest the information.

"If my memory serves me…it vas Cyke's blast that actually destroyed the place…" Kurt said slowly.

"SCOTT!!!"

"Oh no…no…NOOOOO!!" Scott made a getaway rivaling even Pietro, as the four mall rats gave chase.

"Well…now with Mr. Military gone…we can go do something fun!" Ray said brightly.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!" Bobby yelled, pelting Sam with the item. Sam stood, with the snow running down the side of his face. He looked at Bobby, who grinned back. The grin faded from his face when thirteen snowballs as well as half a snowman from Hank hit him at the same time.

"Cool 'nuff for ye Frosty?" Rahne asked, as she and several others leaned over their fallen comrade to gloat. Bobby replied by throwing up a dozen newly formed snowballs, all of which came back down and hit him in the face.

"I think he needs t' work on his aim, non?" Remy smiled his sly smile, just as Pyro pelted him with a snowball.

"Y' out of yer element flame-boy!" Evan threw a snowball back at John, who ducked. That simple action created an army of Jamies. All with snowballs.

"I surrender?" Roberto asked, raising a pole with someone's tighty whities on it. Logan suddenly developed an eye tic.

"Back to my original question, where the hell are we?" Bobby asked again, as he was simultaneously backhanded by Ororo and hit with three snowballs.

"Whistler." Xavier replied. "This will be our final stop before we return to America." Under his breath, he uttered a simple thanks to Buddha.

"Aw, but we were just beginning to have fun!" Jean whined, and was hit with several dozen snowballs.

"If any of you want, you have the option to go skiing here, or snowboarding." Hank said, as he began a 'nature hike'. He turned, and ran into two bedraggled figures.

"Magnus?"

"ARGGGHHH!! Charles!! And I have no bucket to protect my thoughts!!" Magneto screamed, and tried to throw Xavier's wheelchair away. Instead, it rusted up.

"I think yer powers' broke boss." John observed.

"Momma?" Kurt stared at Mystique, cuddling the tiny Harvey.

"Begone!! I gave you your chance, and you disregarded me!"

"Is that even a word?" Evan whispered to Rogue, who shrugged.

"Wait…where's my team?" Mystique suddenly asked, staring around.

"And where's my tinman?" Magneto asked, noticing the absence of a towering Russian.

"Where'd you get the emu?" Ray stared at Emille.

"His name is Emille! And I honestly don't know…" Magneto admitted.

"Is that a…a…AHHHH!! GOOOSE!!!" Jean ran crazily, around in circles as Gertrude looked on curiously.

"Ah! AH!! AH!!! THE HORNY DEER IS TRYING TO EAT MY EAR!!" Bobby shouted. "NO!! WAIT!! THAT CAME OUT WRONG!! JUST HELP ME DAMMIT!!" Everybody ignored him. Except Ororo who backhanded him yet again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Where're we goin' now? Wander wander wander…)~~~~~

"Make this thing move Alvers!! Make it move!!" Todd screamed hysterically.

"I'm trying!! It's not working!!" Lance kicked the steering column, and then began to try and hop around in his seat, like people do when they drop something on their toe, only he was sitting, so it was ten times as funny because he repeatedly bashed his knees against the same steering column.

"Mother Mary of Jesus and Joseph!!"

"Uh…Do not take thy Lord's name in vain!" Fred answered, backhanding Lance, knocking him out cold.

"Hey! Blob!! Why don't you just get out and push, yo?" 

"Uh…" Todd threw himself at the giant youth, trying to push him out.

"Quick!! Before the cows catch up yo!" Wanda groaned, and resumed her efforts to free herself. 

"Vhere are ve?" Piotr asked, looking around.

"In some town yo!"

"Perhaps that sign ve passed some time ago saying 'Welcome to Richmond' is some clue…" Piotr waved to two girls standing and staring at the jeep, being slowly moved by the giant Fred. They waved back, and then began to whisper crazily to each other.

"Are we on an island again? Ergh…I don't do well on islands…" Todd held his stomach, and turned greener than he already was.

"Ve should try and find the others."

"Hey! We just got free of our boss-man…er…boss-lady! You go back to Magneto and be a lackey if you want!"

"I wanna be a lackey…" Lance said dazedly, coming out of his Fred induced coma. Todd shrugged.

"Then we go and find Mystique…who is probably with Magneto…sooo…Hey! Wanda!! Still wanna kill your dad?" Wanda broke free, and jumped out.

"Do ve follow?" Todd gave Piotr a look.

"I want some ice cream." Lance said, trying the engine again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Still wandering…wander wander wander….)~~~~~~~~

"So…now what d' we do?" Remy asked lazily, shuffling his cards.

"Our road trip is nearly over…" Pietro replied as he stared up at the clouds.

"We go boarding!!" Evan shouted, throwing a pair of rented snowboards at the pair of lazy Acolytes.

"Ow…dat hurts homme…" Remy replied, rubbing his head where the board had made contact. Evan grinned, and pushed off, following the motley group of skiers and snowboarders.

Gambit stood up, and looked at the board. "Might as well try, righ'?" He looked to where Pietro was lazing, only to see a cloud of fine powder snow. Gambit sighed, and began to struggle with the bindings.

"Look out!!"

"Argh!!"

"Watch where're y'r goin' Gumbo!!"

"SWAMP RAT!!"

"Ah, we meet again cherie…" Gambit smiled at Rogue, who he had in his arms from an accidental crash.

"In y'r dreams!" Rogue escaped, leaving Remy to continue his uncontrolled rate of decent down the face of the mountain.

"Mayhaps de Black Diamond was not de best run f'r Gambit…" He murmured, as a tree began to rapidly fill his line of vision.

"He dead?"

"No, I believe he will recover."

"Damn." Rogue got up, and left Hank to tend to the unconscious Remy.

"Wa' de cherie worried?"

"I think you've got your work cut out for you there." Hank replied, hefting Remy onto the Snow Patrol snowmobile.

"Aww, non problem mon ami, she will fall."

"Only in yer dreams, eh?" The Snow Patrol officer said, hearing the exchange. He drove the snowmobile back to the lodge.

It was only later, back at the lodge, when one of the X-men asked the fatal question.

"Are we driving back to New York?"

Xavier, Hank, Ororo, Magneto and Mystique looked at each other, and unanimously decided they needed to lie down.

"I know you're here father!!" Wanda shouted, bursting into the lodge, and finding only the younger mutants, and Sabretooth unconscious from a drinking contest with Logan.

The end? Yes. How do they get back to New York? I do not know!! Ah well, first completed story!! It took six months, but I finished!! And now, I'm off to celebrate the New Year!! And btw, I actually saw an old TAS episode with Nightcrawler…Gambit couldn't ski to save his life…I actually believe…he caused two avalanches…by running into a tree…I found it amusing…


End file.
